Are you afraid to die?

Just thought I'd throw that one out there.

I think people in general are afraid to die. There's a certain amount of finality to dying, because when you do, everything ends. Your relationships, your belongings, and then you leave behind that responsibility that you had — someone else will need to pick up the slack. Perhaps if you die, a large financial burden will fall upon those who depended on you. I also think people like being alive, just like how people are unhappy when they are sick, because they feel less alive. Whereas death is the ultimate where you're just dead.

As Christians, there's no finality because we've been granted eternal life, the life after this life. If anything, it's a blessing because we always knew we would be leaving, and plus it'll be so much better in heaven than it is here on earth.

But I think that, with most Christians and myself included, there is still some fear or at least a bit of nervousness and uneasiness when we ponder our own end. You may feel bad for dying because of the pain it would cause others around you. I know for me, I would really feel sorry for my mass of fans who will miss me so much. ;)

There's a certain amount of guilt involved with it too, as if to say "HEY! I still have more to do!". I mean if God decided to give you a surprise early retirement, wouldn't most of us think "Whoa whoa whoa... can you give me a second please? Give me.. a month.. no — a year. I still have way more to do. Lemme finish those things, and THEN I'll come home." It'd be like what the little boy says to his mom when she tells him it's bedtime. "Just 5 more minutes.."

And then you'd sit back and think of all the time you wasted, sitting in front of the television or computer, hours wasted studying in the library about some topic that had absolutely no use towards your mission. Sitting at your desk at work 8-10 hours per day or hours spent in a boardroom discussing topics that don't matter, or the countless hours spent lying awake in bed, thinking about some girl (or boy) who wasn't even worth your time.

Isn't it also funny, that a non-christian would cite all those similar things as major accomplishments in their life? This has become more and more apparent as I talk with my co-workers (I have no other non-christian friends in any other circuit of my life). They sit around at lunch and all they talk about is new car models, interest rates and investments, and taxes.

It's really kind of sad when you think about these empty goals and achievements, being the pinnacle of their ambitions.

Pork chops, Q & A

I had written a post about death, but it's on Notepad at work. I'll have to post it tomorrow instead. Instead, let's all hear about what I had for dinner today.

Q: What's that you're eating there? It looks good.
A: Why hello there. I'm eating porkchops.

Q: What's so great about porkchops?
A: I can tell you with great certainty there is absolutely nothing "great" about porkchops. It's just pork and salt. And pepper. It's a little fatty but all in all, pretty tasty indeed.

Q: Say, what the heck is that pink stuff next to your porkchop?
A: Oh, that's applesauce. Actually, it's strawberry applesauce, so it's got the added yummy strawberry flavor on top of the tangy applesauce flavor.

Q: Wait, wait. Are you saying that you're having pork with apple?
A: I sure am. It's really yummy. I can tell you that the applesauce complements the pork flavor quite well. Yessiree! Porkchops and applesauce are A-OK in my book!

Recipe for porkchops:
2 porkchops
Salt
Pepper
Vegetable oil

Pour a bit of oil into a saucepan. When hot, place porkchops into the pan. Add salt and pepper to taste. Flip when brown. Oh, use medium heat.

Recipe for applesauce:
applesauce

Put applesauce on porkchop. Serve.

All jokes aside, porkchop has to be the most uninteresting thing ever to make. I think even making instant noodles is more exciting. I am not going to bother attempting this again because it didn't even taste all that great. This is probably a good recipe for students though.

Btw, I feel like crap right now. No-no, it's not from the porkchop. I had 5 minigo's for lunch. What a big mistake. Next time I'll limit myself to 4. :D

Prayer items

I want to request that everyone prays for my father, who will be undergoing an EGD on March 17, 2006. EGD stands for esophagogastroduodenoscopy, so let's just stick with EGD because that's way too much to type out.

He's been having stomach pains off and on (more on than off) over the past 3 months and so he's going to have it checked out. Hopefully it's nothing. It would be great if it's just an ulcer, which can be fixed with some medicine.

Also, one of my cousins is also going in for an endoscopy on Wednesday. I think it's similar so please for him as well. I have a co-worker who went for the endoscopy this afternoon.

I was doing some reading and according to this site and this site, found that cancer is extremely prevalent among the asian community. The stats are rather alarming. When I talked to my dad about his stomach problems, he pointed out that oriental men experience the highest rate of stomach cancer out of all racial/ethnic groups. In fact, that site says the highest is for Korean men, other sites say Japanese people in general.

Blanket

I have been feeling colder and colder every night and I think I have finally figured out why. Last night, I noticed that most of the filling in my comforter has bunched up over to the side. In other words, right now my blanket is essentially two pieces of very thin cloth. There's no filling at all in most of it. That's why I've been so cold these past few nights. That could also be why I've been unable to sleep well.

Someone at work suggested that I buy a Duvet. One of my co-workers, "Anthony", really cracks me up. He told me to get a Duvet simply because women love them and it's an easy way to get them into bed. Apparently he's experienced at this. Haha.. what a funny guy. He's always giving me great ideas. Hilarious! Anyway, I also considered a Duvet for the more practical reason that it's supposed to be very warm.

The trouble is I have a twin-sized bed and it seems like an awful waste of money to buy a Duvet for a twin -- that is if they even make them that small. Maybe I'll buy a queen sized Duvet for the guest room bed, and then just sleep in that bed until winter is over. Ohh.. that's a great idea!

Day 5

A couple things I noticed about abstaining from television.

First, I am getting way less sleep than when I watched TV. I used to watch tv right before bed, and it would put me into a sleepy mode. I'd be either dozing off or I had slept 20-30 minutes in front of the television before bed. So it was a good transition for me before bed. I'm missing that now and I find it takes a lot longer for me to fall asleep. And as I mentioned, I'm missing those naps I'd have when I dozed off from watching TV. I tried to take my usual "2 hours of napping in front of the TV on a Sunday afternoon" nap in bed today and really couldn't get it going.

Second, I have a way lower inclination to cook. For some reason, because I'm locked up in my room now (my room has the best lighting in the house and it's the warmest room) all the time, and when I'm in here, I have no inclination to go out of my room. That includes going to the fridge to grab a snack or drink, and henceforth, to cook. I have not cooked for myself since Lent began. I think part of it is that I used to cook and enjoy my meal in front of the TV. I could eat slow and enjoy the taste and the show. Now, I just stare into nothing and eat. It's depressing.

So I would say that at this point it's working, because I'm suffering and that's great because I love to suffer. In previous years, giving up gaming or chatting, there were alternatives. But by the end both those Lents, I guess I would say that I had gotten used to it. However if you think about Christ's sufferings, I don't think you can ever "get used to" someone whipping you with a mace. It's not like after 3 hours of flogging you think "Hey, this isn't so bad.. I think I'm getting used to this.."

Praise God for allowing me to find a way in which I can find suffering such that I can be constantly reminded of His sufferings.

Out of love or necessity

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about serving out of love or out of necessity. By serving of course, I mean serving in God's purposes.

My initial reaction is that it isn't so black and white. There is the grey area where you serve both out of love and out of necessity. Is it wrong to feel "obliged" to go on missions, when God's command for us is to do so? I remember the sermon by Pastor Daniel at OCAC. A. B. Simpson (founder of the Alliance Church) said that if you truly believe in the second coming, then there is no possible way that you are not thinking about missions all the time. I tend to agree with this. My interpretation is that, if you believe Christ is coming back, then there can't be an iota of your being that isn't missions driven.

I did not have this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach or urgency towards the Native people in Canada that drove me to go on a missions trip to Longlac. Sure, I've grown fond of them since then, having spent time with them, and knowing their history and seeing their poverty with my own eyes helps me to understand their plight and need for God. At this point I would say that I have a heart for the Natives. But at the time, when I was there, and when I made the decision to go -- it was definitely a decision based on obedience and sense of duty.

But not all my actions are based on duty or obedience. Although I believe this is a tricky topic. I mean, you can go and say I did this and that for a person because I love that person. But then are you saying that God had nothing to do with it? That, you made the decision on your own and are doing it for yourself? Because then you are taking credit away from God. God *is* love. So in reality, although you may have thought you did this and that for someone, the truth is you did it for God and that God had a hand in your action.

It's like that whole pride/humble thing. If I say "I'm humble", then I'm being proud I just cancelled it out.

But I think I'm digressing. Do I serve at church out of love or necessity? In that sense -- do they *need* me to go up there and sing? Not really. I do it out of love, love for worshipping God and love for singing. I enjoy singing, and I enjoy worshipping God. I guess in some sense that explains why I can never smile or jump around on stage even when people ask me to. Because that's no longer me worshipping God, it's me putting on a show to help others get in the mood. Bleh.. if people need me to do something to get them into the mood to worshipping God, then they probably need some counselling. How can you, as a believer, not be in the mood to worship Him, or feel uncomfortable worshipping God?

Once again, I digress.

So... what was my point. Yea.. man, I hate when you lose your train of thought, and you don't want to hit "Save as Draft", because you just know that when you come back to this post again, you'll delete the whole thing and start over?

My point is, everything I do for God I do it because I love Him, and as a result I feel the urgency to obey him. Yes, that's it. Done and done. Good night!

Day 2

Day 1 was too easy, because I spent the entire day at work, and then the entire evening at the ACC watching the sad pathetic Toronto Raptors lose.

Today was tough though. I was sick today so I stayed home. So that's 8 hours right there of avoiding television. And then another 6-7 more for after hours. I meditated, which helped a lot. And then for the other 14.5 hours, I moped about. I read the passage for tomorrow's bible study for small group.

I played some games and I napped. I drank lots of orange juice.

I went out for dinner, to just get some food, came back and felt very cold (that was 30 minutes ago), I still feel really cold. I'm probably going to bed again in an hour or so.

I just read over this post, and boy is it ever boring.

429; Purell

There's a new Building 429 album coming out this month. I was surprised because usually I'm on the ball when it comes to these things. I guess it's proof that I haven't spent quite as much time in front of the computer as I used to.

The way I found out was from Mitchell's Family Bookstore, who called me to let me know it was coming out so that I could pre-order it. That surprised me as well. Firstly, I didn't know Mitchell's did things like that. And secondly, I didn't think Building 429 was so popular that they needed a pre-ordering service.

Praise God that they got the exposure they've needed. Their song "Glory Defined" is on the latest WOW Worship CD. Good for them!

Anyway, you can go to this site to preview a couple of their songs. After listening to them a few times, I can see that they've gone over to the rock side (whereas "Space In Between Us" was more of a mixture of rock and pop-rock). This excites me because there aren't really any hard rock Christian bands out there -- a genre that I actually really enjoy.

I heard of a group called Kutless a few years ago and a few friends have mentioned that they are pretty good. I'll probably have to check them out when I go pick up my Building 429 cd.

--

I've fallen into yet another obsession, this time at work. I have this bottle of Purell, that I squeeze into my hand. I'm obsessed with it. I just love it. I put it on any time my hands aren't silky smooth. Even a tiny bit of sweat gives me an excuse to squeeze another excessive amount of Purell on my fingers. It feels so great.

I've used up a tiny 59mL bottle in about 2 weeks. It's like magic.. it just cleans me and then it disappears into thin air, like magic gel!

--

The City abolished their "mandatory retirement" rule. You can work here forever now. And of course, you would because why retire and only get 70% of your salary if you can work here forever and get 100%? Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Seriously though, why would anyone work past 55 unless they had to? I sure wouldn't. I'd rather live like a student and eat crap for the rest of my life and rent a basement apartment, than have to work past 55. Seriously.

Why do I Lent

Every Easter, we are reminded with images of the crucifixion, the crown of thorns, nails in His hands, and His followers mourning and weeping His pain and death. These are images that remind us of the huge sacrifice that Jesus took, pain that He endure for me and you.

To this day, I still wonder why He would do something like that for me. I certainly don't deserve it. I need a constant reminder of His sufferings in order for me to be properly prepared for Easter.

To me, that's what Lent is all about. To be reminded of God's sacrifice and Jesus' sufferings as He died on the cross for me. God's gift to us allowed us to avoid being nailed on the cross and suffering for our sins. Truly, what we Lent is nothing compared to what He did for us, but in some ways its a way for us to do our part.

So my purpose for Lent is to give up something of my own, a sacrifice of a significant part of my every day life. Not just an inconvenience or something I can just think "ah well", and move on. It has to be something that I'll be constantly reminded of, and when I'm reminded of it, I must think about what Christ did for me.

Laterally, I like to give up something that is a luxury, something that might actually do me some good in giving up.

This year I've decided to sacrifice television. I hope that all of you can keep me accountable, not only of my abstaining from television, but to keep me focused on the purpose behind my sacrifice.

Starting on March 1st until April 16th, I will not use my television. This include the TV card on my computer. So no television for 46 days, no movies, xbox/gamecube games, no sports, commercials, news, weather, sitcoms, dramas, reality shows, DVDs.

Better Days

I'm chickening out. I'm gonna Lent television. I can't go without computer.. how would I grab chords to play guitar? Or look up chords for that matter. Or print out maps to go to places? Or how would I communicate with my parents? I can't give up computer/internet. I'll just be more conscious about my surfing habits.

There's a song I found out about reading Lon's blog. I think it has a good theme to it that fits well with our Salvation Army Fundraiser we had last night with the Illuminate fellowship group.

This is a song by the Goo Goo Dolls, a song that, after I heard it I immediately went to look up to see if the Dolls had converted to Christianity. Last I checked, they had not. I don't have the song on me, but you can check it out here for free from mp3.com. Here are the lyrics:

Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Anyway, tomorrow I am gonna try to make a beef dip, or rather, probably tonight. I'm gonna try to slow cook it and then eat it tomorrow. I got tons of bread.. they were giving them away after the fundraiser.

Lent

Yup, it's that time of year again.

Miraculously, this topic was brought up by one of my co-workers, who is an orthodox Christian. He was explaining to another co-worker that he had to give up basically all meats except fish until Easter. That was when I piped in about my ban on MSN last year, and video games the year before. I was actually surprised because I didn't know that he was a Christian.

Anyway, it's that time of year again, when I have to try and figure out something I could give up for God, in His Name, starting from Ash Wednesday (March 1), until Easter Sunday.

The chat thing is big, but I did that already and I don't feel like I've been necessarily chatting excessively to have it be something that I need to give up. And I'm already not gaming that much having quit World of Warcraft a month ago. And I've been playing my friend's xbox, which I had borrowed, but not to the point that I am setting aside time to play.

One co-worker suggested I give up the use of my iPod. I told him that would be nothing because I would just sleep on the subway instead.

But what I have been doing a lot of though, is watching television and to a lesser extent, surfing the web. Television has been on my mind a lot, what with my future wife on American Idol every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Survivor on Thursdays, Lost on Wednesdays, 24 on Mondays, Smallville on Thursdays. The list goes on and on. And then there's sports. I'm watching them all the time, and then I go on the web and read up on them too. It's an endless cycle of entertaining myself in some way or another.

So, without further adieu, my Lent for this year will be....

[drumroll please]

I, Brian Yao, will give up all entertaining technology including: television, computer, internet and portable music outside of work hours, to God. Starting on Wednesday, March 1, 2006 until April 8, 2006.

The conditions are that anything that is under my control I will keep in control, but anything outside of my control -- well, that's out of my control. So if someone has their music playing and I happen to hear it, then so be it. Or if someone tells me the score of something, then I will listen.

This is in my opinion, as close to a total sacrifice on my part as I can think of. I will be giving up:

March Madness

24

Lost

Alias (when it returns)

Smallville

Essentially, the rest of the Raptor season

Survivor

Apprentice

Leaf games

Academy Awards

Katharine McPhee (American Idol)

Xbox

Family Guy

Music on MP3

Music, radio on my car

Prison Break (when it returns)

Blogging (unless I update at work?)

Surfing the web

Chatting and emailing (except at work)

Movies

I will add to this as I think of more

There's some debate over the conditions of Lent. For instance, March 1 to April 15 is not 40 days but actually 46 days. Supposedly it doesn't count Sundays. Maybe I could do this and just go all out on Sundays -- that's a possibility. But the way I figure it, is that I'll be cheating at work anyway so I should ignore the skipping of Sundays. Oh, and I'll have to cheat once when I do my taxes, which will be some time in April, depending on when my dad flies in.

So. There you have it. In 2006 Lent, I'll be pretending that I don't have internet or a television -- entertaining myself by playing guitar, reading books and talking on the phone. For 46 days.

Ugh..

Flying Into Daybreak

Between my trip to Ottawa and hanging out with my brother during his Reading Week, I've had little or no time to do some things I've been wanting to do, especially getting a chance to sit down and listen to Charlie Hall's new album, "Flying Into Daybreak", and write a review for it. After talking to Drew, we both agreed that this is not a great album from cover to cover, but it does have a few good songs on it. Overall I would give it a 7.5/10.

Show/Hide Review

What initially attracted me to Charlie Hall was when we heard him at Passion Toronto. He opened for Chris Tomlin and David Crowder, and we've heard him in many albums produced by the 268generation crew. What was curious, was the fact that he had so few albums under his belt. I think this album here gives a good indication of why.

Charlie's not a great singer. He had a nasal sound in his voice, it sounds very sharp, not tonal sharp, just sharp. You have to hear it to understand what I'm saying. He sounds a bit like.. if the Counting Crows guy were holding nose closed while singing.

However, where Charlie makes up for his bad singing is in his songwriting. He's a bit less mainstream from the other christian leaders. When you listen to Christian music, you find that the same vocabulary is being used over and over. With Charlie, his songs sound lyrically. Also, the music itself is different. It's not the standard rock or standard pop. It tries to be a bit of everything.

My beef with this CD is that he tries too hard to make it different. I can't tell what his style is. He tries it all and it makes it confusing for the listener to know what kind of a song is coming up next. The CD just doesn't flow well. Maybe all the songs were made at different times and he just threw it all together.

Center

Chorus:
Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our lives
Be the center of our lives

You're the center of the universe
Everythin was made in You, Jesus
Breath of every living thing
Everyone was made for You

Pre-Chorus:
You hold everything together
You hold everything together

Tag:
We life our eyes to heaven
We wrap our lives around your life
We life our eyes to heaven, to You

I'm in love

That's right, it's finally happened. I'm in love.

Last night, a girl sang "Since We Fell In Love" to me, and I fell in love almost instantly. She had an amazing voice, she was like Norah Jones but with more soul, and silky smooth almost like Streisand. Flawless on the pitch.. man, she was amazing. She has long brown hair, and sweet, innocent smile. She sang for about 2 minutes and I was hooked.

Her name is Katherine McPhee.

Too bad I have no chance.. she'll be this year's American Idol.

No compassion

While we were sitting around in the living at Andrew's place in Ottawa, I noticed that they had a picture of a Compassion kid on their fridge. I pointed it out and Andrew said his name, as if he was reciting something. I thoought it was funny, because it seemed as if he was being tested. Lisa explained that she does all the writing for the letters they send to the kid.

I explained to them that I couldn't write to my kid, because I didn't know what to say without offending or disappointing him. I remember calling Compassion and asking them what I should write about, and they suggested I tell them what I enjoy doing or eating. I thought it was crazy. I mean, imagine I tell him I like playing video games and eating pizza. These are luxuries he will probably never see.

We got into the subject of sending them our pictures, which we both agreed is not the best idea because we really don't know what's happening on the other side. Who knows if there's even a kid at all, maybe it's all a show. Etc. (Mind you I don't actually believe this, but if there is 1 fake out there out of 1000 kids, I wouldn't be surprised.)

What about visiting the child? My feeling is that it would be detrimental to visit the child, because if I went there, and he saw me and saw what I was wearing, and how healthy I was, then he would know that I could afford much more than just the measely $30 I send him every month. The fact is, each of us could afford to feed entire villages for decades with what we make in a month.

So yea, no visitations.

Ottawa

I went to Ottawa this weekend to visit friends, and to catch the end of Winterlude. The weather was extremely cold. The morning of the day we arrived, they had received a pretty bad freezing rain storm. Everything was covered in a cm of ice and the roads were all covered in snow. On the way up, it was me, Eric, Kenric and Charita.

I drove the whole way, which was a first for me, I've never driven such a long distance before. It wasn't too bad though, on the way up I drove pretty recklessly, reaching speeds of 160 km/h and averaging around 150 km/h. We got there in a hurry! On the way back it was darker and I was a bit more tired and I only drove about 130 km/h. I never once felt like falling asleep although there was once that I felt like the food coma might be falling upon me. Fortunately it never came. There's something about having someone else drive your car. I dunno, I'm sure I would've turned it over had I felt very tired, but there's just something about it. It's MY car. I don't like the idea of other people driving it.

In Ottawa, I stayed downtown with everyone else at Chris and Marion's place. They were situated in the heart of downtown, right by the art gallery and just a few steps from the Market. Man, if Lon and I had a place that close, that would've been so awesome. Although the rent isn't cheap there.

C&M didn't make full use of their place though, I guess because of the cold weather and as students, they didn't have much time. They didn't experience Ottawa like we did as co-op students back in the day.

On the first night, as big-city-folk, we were bored quickly. We spent most of the evening watching Olympics or playing Xbox, while consuming large amounts of alcohol. For dinner we went to a place called The Works, a burger place. It had great burgers, great onion rings. I especially enjoyed the sweet potatoe fries.. very yummy.

I think what's great about Ottawa, is that it's a small town and people live a simple life. There's more time for God.

That's not to say I don't have time for God, as a big-city boy. But that because you're living a simpler life in a small city, you have less distractions. And because I've grown up in this environment, it takes more to excite me. So often I'll be moping around feeling bored and feeling the need to be entertained, whereas in a simpler environment, I'd be content to just sit at home, do some reading, talk on the phone, etc.

That's the biggest difference I noticed when the next day I split off from Eric and Kenric to reunite with my Ottawa friends. We met up at church and then went for PHO. It was amazing to see that Pho Bo Gai had expanded and now had 4 restaurants in total. All in the same general area which is even more amazing to me.

We then went to Dow's Lake for some skating, although I didn't have skates so I just ran around on the ice. It was really cold. I mean really cold. Maybe not as cold as Edmonton, but for a Torontonian.. yikes. I had a Beavertail and it was delicious.

Afterwards we went to Andrew and Lisa's home near Kanata/Bell's Corner.

They have a really nice place. It's extremely nice, almost too nice. It felt like a model home. Everything was perfectly placed and neat and tidy, with posters and knick-knacks everywhere, proudly displaying their marriage photo's, along with a lot of Jesus/God stuff. You'd have to see it to understand. Oh yea, and candles. Candles everywhere, and the place smelled great.

We spent most of the time there just sitting around talking and it was great. I had a chance to share about things I've been working on, learning, and practicing. We talked about our families, church life, etc. Afterwards we had shawarma's for dinner, and then watched parts of the NBA Skills Competition (Iguodala got robbed btw).

All in all, it was a fun trip. I caught some guilt trips with some people who thought that 6 years between visits was kinda bad. I don't disagree.. I should have visited more often.

Specialize

My initial instinct right now is to specialize in cooking main course meals. No salads, no desserts. Although desserts really intrigue me, it's just that since I cook for myself, if I learn to cook desserts, I'll just get really, REALLY FAT.

My focus right now is to cook things with beef in it. Because I LOVE beef.

Btw, I just wanted to point out that, based on my experience last night -- don't cook broccoli with wine. It just doesn't work. Broccoli doesn't taste good with wine, and also when it has a pink tint, it doesn't really look too appetizing either.

--

Welp, I'm off to Ottawa tomorrow morning. To visit friends mostly, and to experience extreme cold temperature. I can't wait. This winter has been really wimpy and now I'll get it all in one weekend. It's expected to go down to -20, which is fantastic, I'm really looking forward to it.

It's weird, I think I really like extreme temperatures. Extremely hot, or extremely cold. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself and pathetically attempting to psyche myself up.

I'm really looking forward to seeing old faces.

--

Oh, today marks the first day in a week that I didn't drink. I guess that's a good thing..

Broccoli

After some ponderings, and someone asking me about it, I've decided to come clean in case some people were thinking it. No, the picture of the Osso Buco was not a picture of what I had. That was taken from the web.

I haven't given a whole lot of thought in terms of presentation of food. I'm still focusing on the "not poisoning myself" aspect of cooking. I was thinking the other day -- if I poisoned myself, and I died in my condo, how long would it be before someone noticed I was missing? I wonder how long it would take for my body to rot to the point that the neighbors would smell it. Chalk that one down for another sucky thing about being single. Hmm.. I think I have blogged about this before..

Back to the kitchen...

I like to buy crowns of broccoli, because I don't know what to do with the stems. I often find myself throwing away the stems, which seems like such a waste, so why buy them? Besides, I prefer the flowers. What I've read is that you take the stems and cut them length-wise. Shorten them if you wish. Look for green as possible. Don't buy the yellow/faded flowers, and look out for stems that feel soggy or soft. Those are bad.

That was probably all common sense for the average person, and you're probably thinking "Gosh, Brian didn't even know that part?!". Yea, I didn't.

What I've read, unless you're making a cream of broccoli, chicken broth is the way to go in terms of flavoring it. When you boil broccoli, it becomes soft and soggy. You want to avoid that as much as possible because.. well, who wants to eat soggy vegetables? I notice that when you boil them, the green color becomes more vibrant. One other way to see is if the stem starts to turn a bit translucent.

The last time I did this, I boiled them til I noticed the color changing, and pulled them out quicky and then stir-fried them. But I didn't know about the chicken stock part yet. All I did was melt Edam cheese on top, which was also good.

I guess that's nothing special. But before all I do is either boil them or fry them, neither of them really made them that much better than just eating them raw.

So tonight I'm going to use the chicken stock, and the "colorizing" method, and then stir-fry it with the garlic... and maybe some wine :D

Loblaws is selling steaks. Strip loin grilling steaks. These things usually go for $22/kg but for some reason they have them at $13/kg. This is like bringing a kid to a candy store and telling him everything his half price. I bought 15 steaks.

So tonight will be steak #1, with broccoli.

Osso Buco

I haven't had anything to blog about recently. One thing I noticed yesterday afternoon, one really bad thing about being single -- I have to take several trips to the car to get all the groceries out. If I had a girlfriend or wife, she would be able to help me lug all that stuff up. (although I suppose that, as as gentleman, I would have to carry all that stuff myself anyway).

My brother helps me with that usually, but he wasn't home this weekend.

Last night I had some Osso Buco. It was store bought, pre-cooked. I cut it out of its plastic bag and was about to just cook it up and eat it. But then I realized that's what the old Brian would, not the new one.

(It's the one at the bottom)

So instead, I looked into my fridge for what else I could do, to improve it. I had a box of mushrooms but that's all. How sad.. so I grabbed my keys and wallet and went downstairs to the Loblaws and bought 3 cooking onions. Onions are surprisingly cheap considering how yummy they can be. 34 cents, what a deal!

I cut the onions, length-wise so that they would come out as thin slices. I heated a pan with oil, and threw the onions in. As I stirred that I sliced up the mushrooms, from top to bottom as usual. On Saturday I was at Chapters (bookstore) and was reading up on how to cook mushrooms and broccoli, two of my favorite vegetables. I scanned them quickly to get a good general feel of the best ways to prepare 'shrooms and broccoli.

As soon as the onions started browning, in went the mushrooms, with some salt. And then as the mushrooms began to soften, I poured about half a cup of red wine, stirred that around. I really like cooking with wine. Actually, I just like wine in general. I had about 1/3 of a bottle on Friday night while watching a movie. Yes, by myself.

Once everything appeared "cooked", I prepared half a couple of beef stock with some corn starch to thicken it up a bit, then poured that in and let the whole thing simmer and flavor up. It was smelling pretty good at this point. I poured that whole mixture into a bowl to let it cool down a bit.

At this point I put the Osso into the pan and cooked it for the 8-10 minutes that was required to heat it up (according to the directions). At the 8 minute mark, I took out the Osso and put it aside, then poured my mushroom/onion mixture into the pan to cook it with the sauce that the Osso Buco had come with. This made it smell totally awesome. The sauce was made with tomatoes and herbs.

I mixed that all up and then poured that back on top of the cooked meat, heated up some rice and served it. To myself. I guess that's another crappy thing about being single. It's enough for two dinners though and I suspect it'll taste even better tonight.

One of these days I'll cook something that tastes absolutely awful and then I'll be stuck eating it all up for a whole week. I'm totally not looking forward to that..

Super Bowl Madness

Last night I had a few friends over to watch the Super Bowl. I'm a big NFL fan and I love watching football. I predicted Pittsburgh to win, I thought they were a better team and also from their history they deserved it. But nothing could have prepared me for what actually transpired. It was sheer madness.

Pittsburgh indeed won the game, but I couldn't be more wrong about which team was better. Seattle was hands down the better team, and if despite lots of errors they made, they would have won the game if not for some really bad calls made by the officials. Don't get me wrong, Seattle made some big mistakes. They missed two field goals, threw a very bad interception late in the game, and their receivers dropped way too many passes. But that's not really what decided the game. Those mistakes prevent the game from being a blowout -- I truly believe this game was called wrong, as if they had been bribed and the game was rigged.

The first obviously rigged call was Ben Roethlisberger's rushing touchdown that never happened. Ben called his own number and rushed towards the goalline. The ref called it a touchdown just as he got stopped prior to crossing the line. How can you call a touchdown if the ball doesn't pass the line? You simply cannot. This is a very important NFL rule, if you don't uphold one of the cardinal rules of the game, how can you even continue playing? Is it right to re-define a touchdown during the Super Bowl? I mean I can understand if the teams meet in the offseason and decide to CHANGE THE RULES OF THE GAME, but doing it in a crucial moment where the Lombardi trophy is on the line. That's sheer madness.

"Touchdown: When any part of the ball, legally in possession of a player inbounds, breaks the plane of the opponent’s goal line, provided it is not a touchback."

Even in the replays, you watch, and CANNOT SEE THE BALL CROSS THE LINE. Perhaps the official guessed that it crossed the line, but to say that you actually saw it -- you would have to have x-ray vision, to be able to see THROUGH Roethlisberger's arm. Madness.

The second rigged call was a non-existent pass interference call against the receiving team (Seattle). Darrell Jackson caught a touchdown pass and he was called for pass interference. Again, the refs decided to change the rules of the game.

"Actions that do not constitute pass interference include but are not limited to:

(a) Incidental contact by a defender’s hands, arms, or body when both players are competing for the ball, or neither player is looking for the ball. If there is any question whether contact is incidental, the ruling shall be no interference."

Darrell Jackson made incidental contact with the defender while they were both competing for the ball. This a NO INTERFERENCE call, not an offense pass interference. The refs called back the touchdown and instead of 7 points, Seattle ended up with 3.

One call, which we all noticed, was an offside that turned into a holding call, again against the Seahawks. Pittsburgh was clearly offside, but the refs let the play continue and then added insult to injury by calling a penalty against Seattle. That stalled another potential touchdown drive.

The first 2 bad calls would have given Seattle +14 points. The offside one could have given them another 7. The final score was 21-10, when it really should have been 31-14.

Now if you want to add the mistakes Seattle made, a bad run by Darrell Jackson by not watching his feet while crossing into the endzone (stepped out of bounds), two missed field goals - that's an additional 13 points. Let's just forget about all of Jeremey Stevens' dropped passes. As I said, if not for the bribed officials AND Seattle mistakes, it would have been a blowout. Seattle would have won handily, 44-14.

Hopefully next year they stick to the actual rules.

Madness. Sheer madness.

Munich

I went into this movie with high expectations. After all, it had been nominated for

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Best Achievement in Editing

Best Achievement in Directing

Best Writing, Screenplay

Best Achievement in Music, Original Score

I came out pretty disappointed. I cannot see how this movie has any chance of winning best picture. The movie must be VERY VERY good to win it if you have no quality acting in it whatsoever, and therefore this movie simply has no chance.

Eric Bana (Hulk, Troy, Black Hawk Down) showed why he is better suited for action movies. He played the main character in the movie, a guy named Avner, who was hired to lead a team to kill each of the Arabs who orchestrated the Olympic tragedy in Munich, where several Israeli athletes were first taken as hostages, and eventually massacred. Bana has no ability to show emotion effectively. You'd think, that a Jewish man, going out to avenge the senseless deaths of his own people, would at least show some kind of determination, anger -- just something, to get us (non-Jews) the sense of pride these people have, the injustice they felt during this abomination killing. Instead, I felt as much as for him as I felt for Jason Bourne in the Bourne Supremacy. At least he seemed to know what he was doing. The only difference was Jason knew what he was doing.

As for direction, I can't disagree more to Steven Spielberg's nomination. I can see what Spielberg was trying to convey, but he just didn't quite make it. I liked that the movie portrayed the Jews as guilty as their Arab counterparts. The movie admitted that they were just as wrong as the Arabs, and that both sides should share the blame for this war that they have been fighting since the days of Abraham and Sarah. So that part I did like in the movie. But aside from that, the movie was very convoluted. He would jump from scenes of the hostage killings, back to Avner's quest. There were many parts where people would be speaking in another language but there were no subtitles. I didn't understand the purpose to the Dutch woman's character. Why did she have to be so promiscuous? Why not just have an old lady carry out the killing? Why did she have to be naked when they killed her with pee-shooters? There were just too many parts in the movie that had be scratching my head thinking, "What's the point of this scene? What's he (Spielberg) trying to tell us here? Why isn't the movie over yet?"

What is the deal with Steven Spielberg's not knowing when and how to end a movie?

Overall I thought movie related some important issues. And that's the point, isn't it, of all the nominated films this year -- they all have issues that they want to deal with. Whether it is racism, homosexuality, religious wars, communism and censorship, and.. (I don't actually know what Capote is about yet). Spielberg got his message across, but in my opinion, in an awkward and confusing story with little or no acting.

Overall Rating: 71%

Good Night, and Good Luck

I knew nothing about this movie going in. This movie was nominated for the following categories:

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Best Achievement in Directing

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

This was a really short movie. Just 1.5 hours. And thank goodness for that because it was in black & white and they didn't really have much story to tell anyway. If it dragged on I probably would have hated it.

The story is about a CBS news team that sets out to expose the madness of Senator James McCarthy and his hell-bent scheme to erradicate all communists from the US, including any who were related to an communist. Mainly, it surrounds the story of a man serving in the US Marines who's father was a communist, and how he was released by the army without any cause. He wasn't personally affiliated with Commies. The CBS lead guy is Edward R. Murrow, played by David Strathairn. He is a relative newcomer (despite being 57 years old).

The acting in this movie was excellent. Strathairn was very good. He was extremely believable as a news guy, he was very hard-nosed, a stern man set out to do what was right, even if it would destroy his career. He was well respected and you could sense that without anyone being particularly respectful to him. His newsboys were good too, they that sense of determination of getting the truth out.

I honestly don't know too much about the background of this story. What I did get though, was a sense that back in those days, TV wasn't there for pure entertainment as it is today. The CBS people worked hard to get the news out, to inform the people and help the public understand what was happening around the world. Television was taken very seriously. Newscasters were reviewed, and they cared what other people thought of them. And most of all, they were trying to make a difference in the world. They weren't just reading a teleprompter but actually telling people what was really happening. The real, gist of the stories going on. And they were proud of their work and their achievements.

For me the most curious part of the movie was the point of the characters played Robert Downey (Gothika, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Wonderboys) and Patricia Clarkson (The Green Mile). I saw no purpose of these two characters. They were pretending to be friends while really being married, and eventually got fire from CBS.

The directing I thought was also good aside from that useless couple. It was very well done, as if it were a movie made back in those days. The thing for me is that it was believable. And the truth is it had to be because Strathairn used the exact words and phrases that Murrow used in real life. The movie appeared to be very authentic.

Personally, I've found most of these political movies to be very boring. I'm not going to rate movies by how often I've fallen asleep though because I'm not into politics and world issues in the first place. It's not my cup of tea, is all.

Overall rating: 83%

Hot stuff

Raptors forward Antonio Davis' wife (Kendra Davis), whose quarrel with a fan last month brought her husband running into the stands, was charged yesterday with tossing a cup of hot coffee at a woman near Chicago, police said.

What a wacko.

Toasted Sesame Seeds

I could not, for the life of me, find these. I looked all over. Maybe not ALL over, but two stores without any success. In fact, two stores yielded just one brand of sesame seeds, and only at one store. So.. my bulgogi is going to be missing a little seasoning.

Currently, the meat is soaking it up in a bowl of the mixture. I have no idea how it'll turn out. The butcher at Bruno's wasn't as good as I had hoped. I asked him for thin slices and the best he could was about 1/2 an inch.

The other thing I think I need to buy is a casserole dish, or something of that size. I have nothing like that right now. I had to cut the meat into half because they were too long to fit in my largest dish. How sad is that..

Mayer

I have been listening to a lot of John Mayer lately. There's a major dry-spell in the Christian music scene. I haven't listened to a new cd in a really, really long time. No new songs or lyrics to share.

I've gone back to John's first big album, Room for Squares. I really enjoy it. I don't know perhaps I didn't notice before or what, but the lyrics are so "real" to me in this album. My favorite song right now is "My Stupid Mouth".

My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

Oh, it's another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon

Haha.. I always think that same exact thing when I offend someone and realize it the second it's happened "score one more for me, idiot". Haha.. John's a funny guy.

Gaming

Today, I logged into World of Warcraft, breaking my 3 week retirement. I played for an hour and was totally bored.

There's another game that I've been playing a lot of lately. Bubbels. Be very careful on this. It is highly addictive. And you will get extremely frustrated by it. So like I said, be very very careful.

Super Bowl

As you may have guessed, tomorrow is Super Bowl. I have not cleaned my place as well as I have liked. The reason was that I am just far too lazy. It's a bunch of guys, so it's not like I have to clean it up to impress. And by the time any girls do arrive, it'll be late enough that I can blame the mess on the guys.

I'm pretty smart when it comes to making excuses and covering up for my foolishness. Thank God for that..

Superbowl Champs

The Pittsburgh Steelers deserved this win. They played hard and beat the top teams in the league to get to the big game. They were sentimental favorites as well, with old-timer Jerome Bettis finally getting the win after a long and prolific NFL career.

The Seattle Seahawks deserved this win. They played hard all season long, nailing down home-field rights throughout the playoffs. They played valiantly despite the fact that 95% of the fans were cheering for the other team. They also had the help of the NFL's Most Valuable player in Shaun Alexander.

Reading these two paragraphs, it seems that Pittsburgh is the team who most would cheer for. Myself included, fans would love to see Jerome Bettis close out his career as a champion. Nicknamed "The Bus", Bettis is a mammoth runningback who has rumbled his way through a 13-year career that includes over 13,000 yards and 94 total touchdowns.

So it seems like a perfect fitting, for Superbow XL (40) to be played in Jerome's birthplace of Detroit, Michigan, where is all began.

There is no doubt in my mind that Pittsburgh will win this game. Seattle has great defense, great offense, great coaching. The same can be said for Pittsburgh. On paper, these two teams are very evenly matched. But it's the intangibles that seperate these two teams. First, you have the Jerome Bettis factor. Second, the Troy Polamalu factor. And third, you have 80,000 fans in Detroit cheering for the Steelers.

I think it'll be a good game though.

It's difficult for me to write this, as I'm actually a Seahawks fan. But sometimes you have to be realistic..

Ottawa

I'm visiting Ottawa, for the first time since.. 2001?

It's been a really long time since I've gone back to visit. And I'm going at the worst possible time -- winter, which is like the last place you want to be in wintertime. But I'm excited to go there. Because it's just been way too long. It's been so long that half the people I'd be visiting now live in Toronto.

The plan is to come weekend of 18-19th, and take either the Friday before or the Monday after off, just mainly for travelling purposes. Monday is probably better, in that case. And I'm still debating on whether to drive there or take the train. I've never driven 4 hours before.

Next: Bulgogi

The next thing I want to learn to make is the marinade sauce used for Korean BBQ ribs. So this time, my cooking expedition will involve something I want to eat, whereas the last one was just a challenge.

Gosh, if I can replicate that taste (and yes, I know you can buy the sauce too), I doubt I'd ever eat a tv dinner again!

Recipe #1

On Saturday, I tried my first recipe. Well, I wouldn't say it was my first recipe but rather, my first REAL recipe. I've made other things before but this was the first time I used spices that I never knew existed, with wine, and other "neat" ingredients. I made a beef brisket, and it took me about 6 hours of cooking, including the preparation time.

My entire condo smells like garlic. I used 6 cloves and had my brother mince them while I cut thinly sliced 6 onions. I was quite worried about the onions, figuring that after I got through 2 of them I would bawling and unable to continue. So we went on the web to look for tricks on how to avoid the tears. Some of the ideas were absolutely hilarious:

Use a sharp knife. A dull knife will crush the onion cells more than clearnly slicing sharp blade, and the curshed cells will release more of th edeadly spray into the atmosphere.

Hold a wooden matchstick between your teeth -- match head out The theory is that the match head attracks and absorbs all the bad chemicals

Hold a piece of bread between your teeth

Hold a piece of bread in your mouth and chew occasionally

Breathe only through your mouth. This may be combined with the bread in mouth too.

Don't chop the onion root -- or do it last

Keep the outer skin on the onion as long as possible

Wear contact lenses to shield eye surface from airborne spray

Chop the onion under water or under running water, or pre-soak in water

Wear swim goggles or a diving mask

Use a fan to blow away or suck up the fumes

Place onions in the freezer for 20 minutes before cutting

Put white vinigar on the chopping block to neutralize chemicals

Burn a candle near the work area

Place the cutting board next to a gas range and turn on a burner or two

Using a knife, cut a cone out of the bottom of the onion (where the roots come out). The diameter of this cone should be about a third of the diameter of the onion, and about 1/3 deep. This piece contains the part/gland that makes baby Jesus and everyone else in the room cry when you’re chopping it up.

It's funny how people have so many ideas. Cutting under water makes no sense -- how do you control it? It would take too long. Vinegar makes it smell worse. The frozen idea makes it difficult to cut the onion. Anyway, the one that seemed to make the most sense was the one you do it next to a fire. Candles most certainly do work, but I didn't have any. I left one burner on (I have an electric stove), while placing a match between my lips. It was hard to breathe through my mouth with that thing sticking out. I turned on the oventop fan. And I cut, 6 onions, slicing thin slices of 1/2 cm each, WITH the grain, WITH a very sharp knife and, without shedding a single tear.

As for the rest of the recipe, instead of a dry wine, I decided to go with a very sweet wine (I like sweeter meat). Instead of sprigs of thyme (I mean honestly.. sprigs?!), I used regular thyme.

And.. it turned out AMAZING. It was delicious.

I cut a few slices to bring to Eric/Nicole's place for hot pot on Saturday, and then my brother and I had it again on Sunday night for Chinese New Year dinner. I bought some crown broccoli, and we boiled it in salt, and then melted Edam cheese on it. We each had a large dinner roll and then several slices of the brisket. It was a pretty good meal :)

Cooking

On a side note, I don't understand what cooking means. If you follow a recipe, is that cooking? If I look at cooking as a means to getting food and nutrients into my mouth, then it is really easy. It doesn't take a well-trained person to follow a recipe. All you need is time and the ability to read. Money helps. Did I really cook that brisket? Or did I instead, follow the instructions on a piece of paper. Does this mean that when someone says "That guy is a great cook", what it really means is "That guy is great at following instructions." And who really knows this? What if I told you that I didn't have a recipe and that I made that thing on my own, using my own instincts, chose the ingredients out of the blue and made the thing all on my own, no help of any form of instruction. Does that make me a better cook? What if I read every recipe book out there and memorize them all? Am I then a good cook, or a great instruction carry-out-er?

Friend: Brian, can you cook?
Brian: Yes, I can follow directions.
Friend: ...
Brian: It's the same thing isn't it?
Friend: ...well...

Me, Part 3

"I'll do it later."

I procrastinate. A lot.

I have dishes in the sink that have piled up for nearly 2 weeks. I really have nothing left to use. The other day, I cracked open a bag of plastic forks, just so I wouldn't have to do the dishes.

Sometimes I make excuses for putting things off, like I'll say to myself that it'll be better off if I do it later. Like calling someone for a birthday, or to say hi. I don't like calling people during dinner, because personally I hate that so I avoid it myself. And after 10, no calling after 10. Well, then there's the possibility that they're watching a tv show, so I don't want to call them during the show, because personally I find that annoying.

I try to rationalize my procrastination, deeming that some things need to be left for the "ultimate" timing, rather than just acting on it.

"Things need to be perfect first."

I say that a lot. For a lot of things. I like to do things in one fell swoop. Like say I need more toilet paper. Instead of going down to buy toilet paper, I'll wait until I'm out of soap, or out of kleenex. It seems like a waste of time going down just to buy toilet paper -- I need to have more things to buy to merit a need to go down and buy it, all at once for optimization of time. (For those of you wondering, I'd hold it til I got to work.)

I also leave things unfinished. I'm not a good finisher. I start good, but I can't finish. I get all excited about something, but by the end of it, I'm sick of it. I get discouraged easily. No wait.. the word I'm looking for is sidetracked. I get sidetracked, distracted easily. Or maybe I do get discouraged, but rather than admitting it, I move onto something else quickly.

Love Monkey

I've been watching this new show, which is on Tuesday nights on CBS.

The show is about this guy named Tom Farrell (played by Tom Cavanagh from Ed), who is a music/artist label/record guy. He's 30-some years old who just got fired from a larger record label company and has joined an independent label. He also just got dumped by his girlfriend.

The stories surround him and his love life, along with the struggles of dealing with star-artists and new up-and-coming artists, signing them to deals and concerts, etc.

You can read all about it here.

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the show is how they are constantly bringing in new artists. Because it's an independent label, they tend to get all the small-timer artists and you get to hear them play/sing, and it's totally awesome. Aside from that, there are many guest appearances by bigger names as well. And they all know Tom, since he's worked with him before at some point.

Tom's got this awesome habit where whenever he hears or sees something related to the music industry, whether it be a famous quote, lyric from a song, interviews, album covers etc, he'll point it out. That reminds me of me, I constantly do that too, although not out loud. Maybe I should be more vocal so people will laugh at me and think I'm weird.

Maybe what makes this show good for me is that I can relate to the guy.

I've seen 2 episodes and I'm hooked.

Vote 2006

I voted today. I didn't think I would vote but I did, not sure why. I know I said that I wouldn't talk about politics but this'll be the last I swear. I'm going to go over why I voted for what I did and why.

I voted to not vote.

Why did I choose to vote to not vote? Because it won't make a difference. When I switch to a local Canadian channel tonight after 24, I'm going to see the polls and see that the guy I wanted to vote for lost by several hundred thousand votes. OR, I'll see he won by several hundred thousand votes. The bottom line is, my vote makes no difference.

And the thing is, several hundred thousand people will look at the TV and say the exact same thing, meaning that we all could have made a difference. But who's wants to be that one sucker who tries to go out and make a difference but ends up not? Not me.

You all know by now that I would have voted for Blue. Because I couldn't care less about all the other promises and platforms these guys have except for one thing. ONE THING ONLY, something that affects me personally and that is gay marriage. As a Christian, I am against gay marriage. That's the only thing that will affect me out of all the other baloney promises that each guy makes. At the end of the day, I'm willing to sacrifice everything else EXCEPT for my moral beliefs. If I have to pay more taxes, more on travelling to and from work, if I have to start shelling out for medicine, all that is a moot point if God's commands are not followed.

Okay, so back to my point about not making a difference, and seeing no value in voting. What's the point of voting, then, if there's nothing in it for the voter? Here is how I believe we can get the people to vote, myself included.

I can guarantee, based on my voting plan, that nearly 100% of the people with the ability to vote, will do so under my plan.

The Plan: How To Motivate People To Vote

Now I just sort of thought of another idea, which involves execution by guillotine --- but I think that's a little too extreme.

My idea is simple. Turn the vote into a lottery. A free lottery. So you vote (by color of course), who you want to win and you hand in your lottery ticket. And here's the kicker, the reason people will vote -- because they know they will make a difference.

Because what happens next, is that they take all these ballots, all of the ballots in CANADA. Put them in this gigantic tub, spin it around, and pull out one at a time, til they have 100. Count those ballots up, and whoever has the most votes is the new Prime Minister.

Then for those 100 ballots/people -- they each get a $500,000 cash prize.

$50,000,000 is not a lot of money when you consider that every capable Canadian came out to voice their opinion.

So to summarize:

You vote in order to give your guy/gal the best chance of winning. The more votes that Blue gets, the higher the odds are for him to win. Yes, in this scenario, the Green guy could win if by some luck of the draw, 50 of those 100 raffle tickets has his name on it. But it's highly unlikely. So not only are the people getting this huge opportunity to be THE ONE to make a difference, there's also a chance to win money. And who wouldn't play a free lottery?

$500,000 -- that's worth voting for.

:P

New pot

Haha.. that's a deceiving statement isn't it. No, I have not resorted to drugs.

I got a new pot today. It's a dutch oven, which is basically a short stockpot but that is normally used for slow cooking in the oven. I was hoping for an 8 quart one but had to settle for a 6.

I read a bunch of reviews and reports and it seems like I got a pretty good mid-ranged pot. The best seems to be the All-Clad brand, but those things cost and arm and a leg and I can't justify it yet. Perhaps I might get an All-Clad frying pan, since it's something that I personally would use more. I got a Cuisinart.

The next step probably to a herb rack. I need something like that or something that I can put in the cupboard that turns, like a lazy susan herb rack. My plan tomorrow is to take an inventory of the herbs I have. Mom left me a ton of stuff but I don't know what's in there. All I've ever used is the ketchup, salt, sugar, soy sauce and steak stuff.

It seems strange but I need to clean the kitchen, like all of it -- clean out all the cupboards and drawers, and reorganize everything. And throw out a LOT of stuff. And the other thing, well actually it's something I dread the most about cooking -- is the part afterwards when you have to do the dishes.

Filling in the spaces

Two days into my gaming hiatus, and I'm bored as hell.

I really am. I woke this morning with nothing to do. Normally I would've logged in and off we'd go, then at 2pm I'd be finished, eat lunch, then likely go out somewhere with friends. Then, dinner, back to the game, bedtime.

So what do I now that I've gained approximately 9 hours of time?

I'm going for a drive..

Today I went to the Sunday School conference at church. I'd signed up for it last year, and the truth is didn't know what time it would be starting. I got there at around 10am and found out it had started at 9, but fortunately they were running late.

I find that whenever Harding speaks, he's always trying to prove a point about himself, like he's trying to show someone something. Umm.. that's not coming out right. What I mean is that.. I think what it is, is that you get this impression that he's trying to say "i'm right and you're wrong". As if, it's like you're a teenager again, and remember how your parents would be lecturing you about something you already knew, but they would just go on and on about it, and you would start tuning them out? That's what I mean -- that's what I feel whenever Harding speaks.

So in essence what I'm saying is that 75% of the time he is dead on, because parents are *usually* right.

Anyway, the purpose for going to this conference for me, was not to hear Harding (who went over his time slot by about 10 BILLION YEARS) but to attempt to better equip myself for my next Longlac trip (and beyond). I want to be able to connect better with the kids and possibly with the older ones that, in truth, I was kind of afraid of last year.

The workshops I attended were great, starting with Pastor Ian talking about how to relate to teens, then a talk about storytelling and how to make things interesting for younger kids. Finally wrapped things up with a seminar on overseas (40/10) missions for kids, how to get kids involved in missions, and a focus on the 40/10 window and its needs.

It surprises me to hear that just 1 out of 8 missionaries end up in the 40/10. What are full-time missionaries doing in North America, South America or Europe? Most of these countries are already considerably "reached" compared to the 40/10 countries. SA is predominantly catholic is it not? North America provides the freedom of speech and the right to express one's own opinion. It is so reached that they're resisting it and find it annoying. You mention Jesus at work and people avoid you or turn the other way. "Stop preaching to me" is what they'd say.

Meanwhile in the 40/10, you mention Jesus they *want* to hear more but are afraid to because they might get shot. Yet, 7 out of 8 aren't going there? And who really wants to risk their life to spread the Message of Life. Right? Apparently one's own life and well being is worth more than 2/3 of the world's population. I don't get that, but then again here I am staying within Ontario so what do I know.

Lord of War

Why does Jared Leto always play a messed up drug addict?

I just watched this movie. It confirmed my earlier suspicion, that I just cannot stand Nicolas Cage as an actor. He annoys me, his voice, the way he smiles and walks.

Speaking of War -- today I formally quit the World of Warcraft. I still have a few loose ends to tie up, like giving away all my stuff -- but it's over. I'm done with it.

In the end it was lack of interest in the game and just the sheer amount of time I spent on it. I still don't see it as a waste of time but rather I just prefer to spend my time doing something else. So the buttom line is I got tired of the game.

I'm sad to leave the friends. The friendships I made, the fun we had, we spent so much time together. I met some truly amazing people, some people who are great leaders, while others were complete asses. But they were people that I met, fought alongside, co-operated with. It was a special.

But it's over now.

That frees up about 25 hours for me per week. It's like I gain an entire day. There's 8 days in a week right?

Explosion

I had the most explosive diarrhea ever. Think Hiroshima meets Niagara Falls.

That is all.

overconfidence

Broncos 27, Patriots 13

This game was a lot closer than the score dictates. I enjoyed every second of it (the first half was a little boring) but that's only because I've always disliked the Pats.

As I watched this game I kept thinking that the Patriots would eventually win the game, with some kind of fairy-tale comeback win coming from the usually clutch Tom Brady. New England had many chances to come back here, making a few huge plays here and there but they never amounted to anything in the end.

My feeling is that overconfidence was key in this loss for the defending champions. This team has had 100% dependability in every aspect of their game over the past 2-3 years. A precision quarterback. Staunch defence. Fantastical coaching. A kicker who couldn't miss. What was the main difference though, between this year and last year? I would say overconfidence.

The Patriots became cocky on their side of it.

First, how could Vinatieri miss a field goal? This guy has been perfect all year, I think last year too. I can only think it had to be overconfidence. Something his head snapped and instead of focusing on kicking, something must have said to him that "I'm not going to miss because I never miss", so he missed. That was a key play.

Second, how could you blitz on a punt when the game is still within reach? I could see you doing that if you're in trouble, so you become desperate. I think in this case, Belichick became overconfident and went for the big play thinking that if they messed up they could still make up for it. But they didn't -- Troy Brown had to run back to get it and they fumbled it. Another key play.

Third, going for it on 4th down in the first quarter. Seriously, who does that besides Bill Belichick? It never amounted to much, or any mistake but I think it just shows the cockiness and balls that this team had become too full of. Not that having balls is a bad thing, but sometimes it gets into players heads that they're unstoppable. There's nothing worse than players thinking they can't be beaten.

Fourth, throwing into the endzone at one of the best cornerbacks in the league. One thing I truly admire about the Patriots is that 90% of their plays work perfectly and that their target receiver is always open somehow. But in this case he wasn't. Champ Bailey was all over him and Brady threw it right at him. This was a Favre-like mistake (post-Holmgren). It's too big a risk in the 3rd quarter. Again, this game was still within reach. Brady became overconfident in his receiver's ability and made a big mistake.

I guess my biggest disappointment last night was that the Pats lost because I was really hoping to see them play next week against the Colts if they can pull it out over the Steelers tonight. It would have been the best way to conclude the AFC, the defending champs against the team who couldn't beat them so many times in previous years; but a team who had made huge improvements to their defence.

Seahawks 20, Redskins 10

I didn't watch most of this game because I had been at the theatre watching "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". Seahawks MVP RB Shaun Alexander to a concussion but they still pulled out the win. Maurice Morris filled in well enough for them to establish some kind of running threat and I guess Matt Hasselbeck was able to capitalize on Redskin mistakes.

I did see the missed field goal though.. and that was a huge.

Injuries

"On a scale of 1 to 3, it was a 4," he said. "It was off the chart. It was pretty badly damaged -- shredded is the better term."

This is what the doctor said about Cincinatti QB Carson Palmer's injury he suffered last week in his first ever playoff game.

Carson Palmer's knee injury was "devastating and potentially career-ending," involving numerous ligament tears, a shredded ligament, damaged cartilage and a dislocated kneecap, his surgeon said.

Ouch.

I've never really been injured. I haven't been to the hospital due to any kind of injury either. I guess it helps that I don't play any sports.

When I was about 8 or 9, I had an irregular heartbeat and was treated for it. I remember they were putting suction cups on my body and it felt funny, the machine they used to *suck* it on. And then they had wires running out of them into this black box.

Basically there was a drug they were giving kids, called "Alupent". It was for asthma treatment. I was taking it. But whenever I took it, my heart would go absolutely nuts and I'd have these mini heart-attacks in the middle of the night. At first we thought it was just bad dreams, but as it became more and more frequent, we had it checked out.

They had me take the box home and take the drug more, just to make sure. Shortly after, I believe they took the drug off the market.

I guess I'm pretty thankful that it was nothing more than a defective drug, and not a personal condition that I have.

Anyway, that's about the gist of my own experience in hospitals. Hopefully I'll never have to go there again. I broke my nose once while skiing, back in 2000 in Ottawa. I landed on my face and slid for a few miles. For a week I was able to shift my nose from side to side. The cartilage had broken. But it healed on its own without the need for a bracer of any kind.

That's the reason I've never gone skiing since then, in case anyone's wondering why I never go when people go. No offense or anything, I just happen to like my nose the way it is.

I have a chronic knee injury I think, that is from moving large objects that I should never have been moving, at a young age. My dad and I finished the basement of our old house, and then did a lot of moving ourselves to our new house. That was when I was 12-13 years old. And I was a scrawny boy. Haha.. who am I kidding, I'm *am* a scrawny boy. Anyway we moved lots of things, a whole lot of drywall, lumber, gigantic tools with really big blades. Blocks of concrete, bricks, tiles, etc.

Come to think of it, if I can somehow reach back into my memory at all the things my dad and I worked on, and somehow remember how to do all those things, I could probably build an entire house. We did it all.. from bottom to top. Everything from pouring concrete for a floor, plumbing for bathrooms and kitchens, to nailing shingles on the roof.

[Yes, Habitat for Humanity is one of the places I plan on checking out]

Well.. I went off topic again.

I guess I'm just glad I've never been severely injured. I've spent far more time in hospitals visiting other people. Which.. well I don't know if that's a good thing or not. :S

Red, Orange and Blue

When I was little, red was my favorite color. I liked it because of its intensity. Plus it was the color of things you need, like blood, love (for some reason I thought red = love). But anyway, as I got older I started to notice that boys like blue and GIRLS like red. And I didn't want people to think that I thought like a girl, so blue it was.

And blue it stayed. I liked blue. Blue skies.. and water. You need water to live. And pens were all in blue, that helped a lot. Also when you cry, you are feeling "blue". So there's another one. And the Leafs, they're blue. Not to mention the BLUE Jays.

Orange is color that I like when it comes to food. Sweet and sour BBQ pork is orange. Mango's are orange. And just about any candy that is orange-flavored usually rocks supreme over any of other flavors. Take orange Skittles for instance, they are by far the best Skittle. Then there's Fuzzy Peaches, they're orange too and are great. Orange popsicles.. Mmmm... Oh and what about Cheesies and Cheetos? Awesome snack.

But although Orange is a key color in my diet, I still like Blue. And I don't worry, I haven't forgotten about blueberries. Mmm...

Can you tell that I skipped breakfast today and that I'm starving?

The sea is blue, and I like to swim -- at least, when I'm not drowning.. because drowning sucks. But swimming is fun, as long as you're not drowning. Also it makes me think of soup.. Lamb stew perhaps.. oh but that's orange and red.

Also meats are all red, at least, to begin with. And it's the stop light. I like to stop. And greens if for Go. But green isn't the topic of this post. Plus mold is green, and boogers -- Ewwww. Not to mention envy.

Red hair is nice, although I don't know anyone with it. At least not naturally. Hot sauce is red. And ketchup, you can't forget about ketchup. Some people call it Catsup. And some forms of curry is red.

Did I mention that I'm starving right now?

But red is also the color for the communists.. and the confederate flags were red, although also blue. And people say they're red hot from anger. Anger is bad.

The United Nations flag is blue. And the Leafs, Blue Jays, Argo's, Indianapolis Colts, University of Connecticut, University of North Carolina. Blue is a great color. The lines on lined paper are blue. My mousepad is blue. Plus blue is for boys, although not just for boys.

Blue is the best.

Anyway, that is about as much politics as you'll ever see on this blog.

Blue. Vote for blue.

NFL Playoffs

I have been enjoying the NFL Playoffs this year especially because of the big screen and the high definition. So much so that I've watched every game possible (aside from the one I missed because of the Illuminate meeting). I even watched the boring Patriots beat the terrible Jaguars. It wasn't exactly the most exciting game, but something about the quality of the show, mixed in with the wonderful sounds just made it that much better.

What's more, because I am watching digital, I get to watch the American commercials, which is just a totally added bonus.

This year, I don't have a particularly favorite team but I am hoping for a more exciting finish, that is, not a blowout per se or a insanely defensive game -- but at least a well balanced game. Although in years past I've cheered against the Patriots, this year Tom Brady is actually earning his previous MVP votes and actually doing something like throwing the ball more than 10 yards at a time. So overall the Pats aren't really that boring a team to watch.

A couple of the teams I'm really dreading to see in the Superbowl are the Chicago Bears and Washington Redskins. Those two teams are terribly offensively challenged.

This past weekend watching the wildcard teams play really helped explain why they were wild-card teams in the first place. Offenses were stalled, defenses were making all kinds of mistakes. It was ugly at times. Although still very nice looking :)

Stumbling block

I've got a co-worker hooked on World of Warcraft. He asked me if he should get Civilization 4 or WoW. I suggested he not get WoW because it was too addictive and it would ruin his life.

The next monday, he comes to work with red eyes like he hasn't slept in a few days. He tells me the WoW is the best game he's every played in his entire life. It's not just a game.. it's like an entirely different world. It's not just fighting.. it's a life.

Each day since then, whenever "the boss" isn't around, he's asking me about builds, specs, strategies. He's completely obsessed with the game. He comes in every day looking exhausted and the bags under his eyes are getting bigger and bigger.

Remind you of anyone?

Yesterday I spent 2.5 hours in Molten Core with my guild. We've come a long way from where we started, when it used to take us 5 hours to get through it. This is far more manageable. 2.5 hours. That's fast.

Anyway, for 2.5 hours I further confirmed my former inklings that I had very little desire to continue playing. Heck, the only reason I played was because they asked for my help. I wouldn't have otherwise gone. Or is it supposed to be "Otherwise I wouldn't have gone"? Or "I otherwise wouldn't have gone"? Anyway, I am at around 5% desire to play, which is about a 495% decrease from a year ago.

We had a meeting amongst Illuminate (our post-university early-career fellowship) to discuss the merits of even having a fellowship at all. With the small group movement upon us, everything is small groups, and as such even our fellowship is comprised of small groups.

We had to determine why we have a fellowship -- why should we meet, as a large group and what could we accomplish as a large group that we normally would not be able to as a small group. Did we really need a large group? Everyone agreed that we should have a vision statement for what we should be striving towards, as a large group fellowship. So we brainstormed ideas/statements that encompassed our large group vision.

Some suggestions of 'things we can't do effectively as a small group but can with a large group' include: coffee house, evangelical meets, outreach programs, winter/summer retreats.

One of the things we wanted to get away from was making the large group meets into social events, because if past attendance was any indication, it was always the same people showing up to them. The same people that we hang out with socially. We wrapped our heads around the idea that LGM's should have a purpose, and that each SG should hold some sort of "ownership" for the LGM, in order to encourage attendance, not to mention ease the workload for SG leaders.

But also not to have LGM's too often because it would disrupt the pace of SG's themselves. So we had to set dates for those.

And we had to figure out who would be responsible, the need or lack of a need for a coordinator or chair person.

Although I did get the gist of the entire meeting, I didn't take much part in it. I offered no suggestions or clarifications. I basically took a completely passive approach to this meeting, and I will explain why.

The reason is because I was completely distracted by other things. Mainly, my own situation and where I fit into all of this. The entire time I was thinking about my mission statement, my vision for this year.

I kept thinking to myself -- What is Community? Is THIS community? What has kept me from joining a small group? Is it laziness? Pride? Is it what I want? Or is it because it feels like a cop-out from something that I should be doing myself, which is leading my own group? Why are people making fun of me for dressing nicely? Should I join a group or not? And, if I don't join a group, what is the drawback? The drawback is having zero accountability in my spiritual walk. So why I don't I join a group then? Because I'm afraid? Or because there's something more that I want and I feel like if I join a group, I won't be able to do what I want or worse, it will hold me back or occupy my time from doing what I truly want? Or maybe I feel like if I do join one, then my heart will relax and the burden I'm feeling will be relieved just enough that I'll completely give up on my yearning desire to serve the community?

And that's when it hit me. What I'd been searching for, is to serve the community. To serve others. Not just once in awhile but all the time. And regularly.

A group of people who get together every week to serve other people who need serving. And then, through that time of serving others, we grow spiritually. And on days we aren't serving others, we are better equipping ourselves to serve others better. And on days we aren't doing either of those two things, we are praying for eachother, looking out for one another, loving eachother.

And that's just the thought that hit me around the time they were still talking about large groups and the various vision statements. And so for the remainder of the meeting I sort of sat there daydreaming until it was over.

Chuck Norris

Lately, Chuck Norris has found his way on the internet, in the form of hilarious exaggerations about him that make him like this super bad-ass. They're an absolute riot. I've come across at least 40+ of these things, and I have shed many tears from laughter. Some of them are just so ridiculous!

Here's a few of my favorites:

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits."

"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist."

"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down."

"If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face."

"When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket."

"Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill."

"Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night."

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."

Hahaha.. Chuck Norris rocks!

Huff n Puff

For those who haven't heard -- I put on 12 pounds during my vacation. All of mom's cooking and eating out while on the road in Los Angeles did me in. I probably got more exercise than usual, but the food.. mmmm.. the food.

One thing I've found since coming back from vacation, and having put on all that weight, is that I'm always hot. Not by appearance mind you -- but taking a few steps here and there, running up some stairs, and I'm completely soaked in sweat. Flustered, flushed, and red, just from a few stairs.

So it's like before, I was just tired from it because I was out of shape. But now I'm a little overweight so the result is that I am tired, but also sweating. I've also found that I need less layers of clothes. Now whether that is because the weather has warmed a little, or because I'm fatter, that remains to be seen.

New sights

When we started our drive out to Los Angeles from Las Vegas, it was extremely windy and as we drove up the freeway, I saw tumbleweed. The stuff you see in those western movies! It was such a joy, they were rolling around all over the place. We even ran over one of them, it was at least 2 feet tall!

I even saw one that was nearly 3 feet tall. Cars were afraid to hit it (even though it's just a dried up plant and basicall harmless) and were swerving all over the road to avoid it.

Waterfalls

We saw a waterfall inside an underground parking lot, off the infamous Rodeo Drive. We were looking for parking and we turned in when we saw the big "P" sign. Turns out it was a $20 lot with valet service. There was also a hair salon down there.

Fortunately one of the valet boys kindly pointed us in the right direction (out of there) and towards a free parking lot.

Channandeliers

Rodeo Drive had chandeliers for lamp posts, instead of.. well, regular lamp posts. Also, I saw at one of those insanely expensive jewellry stores, a diamond-encrusted iPod bag. I have a picture of it which I'll post when I get home (if you happen to read this during the day).

Loose ends

And of course there's that wig, I'll never forget the look on that guy who ran to pick up the wig, and then the look on the woman's face when he plopped it back on her head. Still has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Sahara

Interesting movie, highly entertaining. I have always liked Matthew McConaughey. He's so good looking and really, who can resist that southern accent?

National Treasure

Despite me hating Nicolas Cage, I really enjoyed this movie. It was like a cheap american rip-off of the Da Vinci Code.. but it was good. Very entertaining and very interesting too. And funny. I love sidekicks, they're always so funny.

Tae Guk Gi

Great film. Best Korean film ever made, apparently. Probably the most expensive too. You have to see it.. if you can find it. Should be rated R though.. very graphic. If you thought Black Hawk Down or Saving Private Ryan were gross, think again.

Kong

Awesome movie. 3 hours short with amazing cinematic pictures, the computer graphic imagining was crisp and fit very well in the film. The humanization of Kong was great. You could feel was he was feeling, you could sense his unhappiness, his uneasiness, his desires. Naomi Watts -- breakthrough performance. Jack Black can act. Nice to see Hanks' kid in a big blockbuster movie such as this, for more exposure. I thought the worm scene was unnecessary. I had to look away... too gross.

Spanglish

Loved it. Paz Vega was very different from the previous Latin women we've seen. She was good looking, but not "hot" like some of the others (Cruz, Hayek). She was outspoken yet reserved, gorgeous but not in a gratuitous way. They didn't make a point out of her beauty -- they just let her act like they would with a normal American actress. And it was good. And Adam Sandler proved again that he can be a normal guy and not stereotypical crazy, angry person we've seen so many times. Tea Leoni played the role of the stuck up, oblivious woman. I've met people like her and yes, they are really annoying.

Love Actually

After hearing Ina rave on and on about this movie I finally had a chance to watch it. It's a story about love in just about every way you can imagine it. I sat there by myself watching this movie on my brother's laptop (because of the jetlag I was always up 2-3 hours before everyone else) and nodded to myself to situations in the movie, cried when sad things inevitably happened, and laughed when things worked out. I think the great thing about the movie is that it's true. You sit there in agreement because you know that it's all true, that you've been through the same experiences that many of the characters have been through.

Could anything be worse than the total agony of being in love?

Raptors

After just about no sports whatsoever since Vegas doesn't have any teams, I come home to this, a team that was 7-7 in December and now 1-0. And I love it. Just 29 more wins and I'll be satisfied.

Fever Pitch

That reminds me, I saw Fever Pitch too. This was a fun love story about a guy who was completely and utterly obsessed with the Boston Red Sox and had trouble finding women who would be able to put up with his obsession while being in a committed relationship. Much like my video gaming, he watched it non-stop spending the 3-4 hours required to watch a game every day for the entire season. He also wore Red Sox clothes, pajamas, had blankets, bedsheets, pillows, soap dishes, shower curtains, etc. All BoSox. In the end he gets the girl without having to give up his video gam--errr.. I mean baseball. ;)

I have returned

I'm baaaaaack.

I flew in this morning pondering what I should do this year, like, what will define me this year. Last year I was defined by World of Warcraft, a video game that I became addicted to and to this day, have not stopped playing. But over the holidays and my 13 day vacation in Las Vegas, I've given that a lot of thought -- about how I could become so involved with a game, so tuned out to the rest of the world, my friends and family. How could a video game take over my life like that. I can't allow it control me anymore.

Also, small group has been on my mind.

Isn't it funny, how sometimes you have this vision, this strong outpouring motivation to do something, and then you just lose all steam, or something clicks in your mind that convinces you that you're not good enough to do it? Or maybe you feel like you just don't have the time for it. I guess that's my position on my small group leadership stint.

People keep asking me -- "Hey Brian, have you joined a small group yet?" Well, the thing is I was waiting until the groups filled up some more before I decided where to go. But now it sounds like groups have filled up.

And that's okay I guess. I'm glad that there's been a large pouring of interest in joining groups. It's been really great that this ministry has blossomed.

And people need it. I need it. I need those people keeping me accountable, the people who provide that togetherness God's family. Once you've tasted that loving community, and then you step away from it, you see how badly you needed it. But until you've experienced it, it just seems like a silly thing or just a group of friends meeting regularly for some bible study. But it's so much more than that.

If I can't find a group then I guess I'll have to find another source for it, maybe at another church or something. I can't picture going on without it.

I kinda digressed on my original point, of what could define me this year. I attended Soulstice this past Sunday and was touched by Pastor Alex's talk about TOGETHERness, about community, discipleship and outreach. It gave me a profoundly new perspective on that subject of community, life together in the Family.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want "community" to define me this year. Whether that's by small group, or by community work, or missions -- it's something that I'd like to strive towards for 2006.

Clothes

I bought tons of clothes in Las Vegas. Lots of clothes from various outlet malls, in Prim and in Las Vegas. I bought my first Banana Republic clothes. My first Clark's shoes, my first Skechers shoes (yes, I nearly doubled my shoe collect in one fell swoop). I bought my first Ralph Lauren clothes. It's crazy, looking inside my suitcase and seeing all the brand name stuff that I got for so cheap.

I discovered that you can pull off a lot of different looks with a shaved head. I cut my hair again after we got back from Los Angeles and all my clothes looked that much better on me.

On the flight home I thought about why I've never had brand name clothing before, or why I never try to be one of those "well-dressed" people. I think it stems from the fact that I feel uncomfortable around such people -- that somehow, from a person's appearance, I feel like I'm a lower class, or less distinguished. So in turn, I don't dress well either because I don't want others feeling the way I do.

I like wearing scrubs. It makes everyone around you feel better, and it hella more comfortable. And yet, there I was buying all these neat clothes, and feeling really good about it. Looking in the mirror and thinking, "Damn, I look good..."

Silly boy.

Tae Guk Gi

Today is New Year's Day. But instead of writing about New Years Day, I'm here to tell you about the first Korean movie I have ever seen. It was called "Tae Guk Gi", and it was a great film.

The movie is based the war between North Korea and South Korea, about 2 brothers who are forced to join the battle (on the south side), and about an older brother protecting his younger brother.

The movie had everything, the same kind of battle scenes as Saving Private Ryan, same kind of drama and action as those types of war movies but the story itself was really about the struggle between the two siblings. The older brother Jin-tei does everything in his power to try to get his brother discharged so he can go home and take care of their mom. He becomes obsessed and enraged and goes on killing rampages.

I give this movie a 9/10 (some parts were really, really gross).

One of the Funniest Things I Have Ever Seen

Yesterday we went to what my brother described as "the best pho in Las Vegas". Sad to say, but if I were to rate this restaurant "Pho Kim Long" (no kidding, that's what it's actually called) on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is Pho88, then Pho Kim Long is a 3.

Anyway, in the parking lot is where we saw one of the funniest things ever. It was really windy that day and we this this family walk out of one of the stores in the plaza. Anyway, a huge gust of wind hit them and we saw this black thing fly up and land on the ground. I looked over, and IT WAS A WIG!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! One of the men quickly ran over to it and picked it up -- it belonged to one of the old ladies! HAHAHA.. he grabbed it and put it back on her head!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA