All-in-one

I find it strange, that when it comes to electronics I will almost never buy anything that is a combination of several different things. For instance, I am hugely adverse to buying a cellphone with a digital camera on it. Or a television DVD player combination. But then on the other hand I am searching for this jacket that simple does not exist because it covers way too broad of various uses for a jacket. Similarly with shoes, I have always questioned the usefulness of having several different shoes for various activities. I have a pair of dress shoes, non-dress shoes, and sandals. That's it.

I see people who buy shoes for every occasion, one for running, one for basketball, one for walking, one for baseball. I've always seen that as absolutely ridiculous, but for me to expect that one pair of shoes can take me to through all sports and non-formal events, well, I guess I am beginning to understand those crazy shoe people.

Last week I winded up buying a MEC jacket. It is extremely, extremely breathable, slightly weather repellant, and that's all. No stuffsack, no hood. The fabric is soft and will probably tear under harsh hiking conditions.

So in the end, I winded up with a jacket that did not even come close to what I was looking for but I got it anyway. There is another jacket that I have my eye on, an offering from Cloudveil that costs $160. I don't know if I can justify spending that kind of money on clothing, but it's a pretty sweet looking jacket.

--

Tonight my parents should be leaving Toronto. I say *should* because you never know what might happen. They are trying to get through despite the possibility of certain immigration/customs issues that may or may not arise. I don't really want to get into it but what I do want to say is, pray they do get through. For their sake, my dad needs to get back to work and my mom needs to get back to school. And for my sake, to help me regain my sanity.

I want my solitude back, my independence and my QUIETNESS. I want to not have to set my television volume to BLARING so that I can hear it. I want to be able to close my door and not expect that in 5 minutes people are going to barge in, without knocking, to have a conversation or possibly, an argument while I am trying to enjoy a tiny moment of peace and quiet. I want to be away from home and not be worried that someone is going to machine wash and machine dry an article of clothing that can only be handwashed and hung dry. I want to be able to find things in my room again. I want my car back.

Blading and Jamming

Yesterday after dinner, I convinced my parents to go for a walk while I bladed. I bought a pair of K2 In-Line Skates last year and never got around to using them (probably because I was too busy gaming). Anyway, my parents went for it. It's been a very long time since I actually rollerbladed and at first I felt like it was my first time. Eventually though, I got back into it and was fine.

I think the most daunting thing for me is learning how to stop. Apparently people can hockey-stop with rollerblades. I can't even hockey-stop with ice skates! I use the rubber thing on the back to stop. I think I should start learning how to T-stop at least. The new blades I have are much much better than the previous pair I had, which had my ankles bleeding within the first 30 minutes. Also the wheels have far less friction, allowing me to accelerate faster and coast longer. My old blades were ABEC, whereas my new ones are ABEC 5.

We visited some of our old neighbors, which was kinda cool. Seeing people that we knew from way back when was very interesting, catching up on old days and how my parents were in their new life in Las Vegas.

After blading and talking to a lot of people, we came home and it was already 9:30. My dad started playing on my brother's guitar, trying to play Third Day's "Your Love Oh Lord". It was really annoying me because he was butchering it and I think he knew that too. All week he's been trying to get me to teach him to play.

My dad is awesome at guitar, but he grew up playing classical guitar and can't strum a lick. Picking on the other hand, he's probably better than anyone I know. But yea, strumming it's a total disaster for him unless it's a spanish song.

Anyway, this time I bit and pulled out my guitar and showed him how to do it. Even with me playing alongside him he couldn't pick it up. So in the end I told him to just pick the song. It sounded great with me strumming and him picking. Soon after we were doing just about every song I have. My mom was singing too, and my dad was doing harmony. It was awesome! Totally AWESOME.

The jacket

Eric pointed out to me a while ago that it's easy to spot me in a crowd because I always have on the same black jacket. Spring or summer, winter or fall I have been wearing the exact same jacket for all kinds of weather. I bought the jacket from Costco at an economic price of $40, and I have never looked back.

Actually I have. I have been searching for the ultimate jacket, one that fulfills all of my needs (wants). I'm a believer in layering and last fall, I purchased the ultimate inner vest. It is nearly 100% windproof and that's all it does, protects from wind. It's a little warm, made of fleece and a little spandex in the back for comfort.

As for the jacket, the following is needed:
-breathable
-water resistant
-hood that can fold into the collar
-stowable (jacket can compact into a stuffsack, possibly a pocket)
-lightweight
-performance fit
-tear-proof (ie, when i run through the bushes, i don't get caught on a branch, or worse, rip it)

These are my requirement and I've yet to find a jacket that does all these things. The closest I've come now is a North Face jacket, called the Amp Hybrid Jacket. It retails for $120. It has everything above except for the stowability.

Patience, young padawan.

This past week

For Good Friday (Thursday) we had our first ever production, with choir, music and actors. It was the story of Jesus with characters like Nicodemus, Caiaphas and Joseph. It was a very touching story and at the end it was capped off with Nichole Nordeman's "Why" -- a very very touching song that I'm sure brought a tear to many people's eyes. The impact of death, and moreso, death for my sake has always been a humbling, shameful and emotional time for me. Easter is a time of rejoicing that our sins have been washed away, but for me it is always a time of deep reflection and mourning.

These past few days, living with my parents again, has been challenging. I love them very much and I am happy they're here, but at the same time I miss living alone. It's quieter -- complete silence can actually exist -- and there's less complaining, nagging and bickering. On the flip side there's more food, less loneliness.

When I came home on Thursday evening, my brother came up to me and said "Brian, check out your room." Immediately I felt fear that my room had been cleaned and precious things had been thrown away. Sure enough, I walked in and it was clean, cleaned out that is. Don't get me wrong, it is cleaner than ever.. actually I don't remember a time it has ever been this clean, not since we saw the place before we bought it. But everything has been moved around, I don't know where most of my things are. I think once my parents leave I will need to get my bearings and figure out where everything is again.

I'm not looking forward to when my parents leave, but then at the same time, I am looking forward to things getting back to "normal". My parents read this blog on occasion, so let's just leave it at that :)

Baptism Sundays are my favorite, favorite Sundays. I think I am happier on Baptism Sunday's than I am on Christmas Day. I dunno if that is blasphemous or not. In fact it almost feels like Christmas morning, sitting in front of the Christmas tree, waiting to unwrap all the presents. Anyway this past Sunday, my friend Kenric got baptised along with 9 other people, and that made me very very happy. It's one thing to have so many baptisms, but when close friends get baptised that is a double bonus. It's like you just gained a sibling or something, it's pretty sweet.

Andrew's brother Allan also got baptised, and also Garman from my small group. And a whole slew of teens, a couple of whom I actually know and have talked to. It's also always so very exciting to hear about how God has changed the lives of people, and how their walks have progressed and matured. We're talking major awesomeness all around!

The Raptor season is over. Well, the truth is it was over weeks ago.. but officially it ends on Wednesday night. Last night I went to the last home game of the season. It was absolutely horrifying, the way they played. Awful. The highlight of night was when the announcer noticed Cindy Klassen in the audience. He announced her and Dick Bavetta (the ref) went over and brought her out to centercourt. The entire place erupted in a standing ovation.

5 Medals, nothing but class, humilty and grace. She's one amazing gal and a true Canadian hero. Oh, and for those who haven't heard -- Cindy intends to become a missionary after she retires.

Fanboy

I have become a major fanboy of two things. The first is the Toronto Raptors. I am in love with this team even though they suck badly. I follow them avidly despite their complete and total utter crappiness and hopelessness.

The second is the Nintendo Revolution. I week ago I posted about the need for consoles to have "must-have" games, in which the game is so great that it convinces people to buy the system. Microsoft's XBox 360 is a fantastic example, of a console that has superior technology built into it, but does not have a game to make people think "OH MY GOODNESS!! I want an XBOX 360 so I can play ______________".

From what I've been reading, Nintendo will have 20 titles at launch, meaning there will be 20 titles available when the console is comes out on sale. Haha.. that's more than I can say for the Gamecube, which doesn't even have 20 titles worth playing.

So far, the game that has been officially announced as one of the 20 -- looks spectacular. The game is called "Red Steel", and is being made exclusively for the Nintendo Revolution.

Brought to you by Ubisoft (Far Cry, Splinter Cell, Ghost Recon), Red Steel makes use of Revolution's new controller -- the remote control that senses gestures and movements made by the controller. Meaning, you swing the contoller one way, and the guy you control swings his sword the same way. You point at a particular badguy on the screen and press the shoot button, he convulses and dies.

Taking advantage of the special controller and the fact that it will only be available on Revolution -- to me that's a "must-have" game. No more having to point my crosshairs with a joystick using my thumb -- this game gives new meaning to point-and-shoot.

Ten Commandments

Last night I saw what was quite possibly the worst ever rendition of the Ten Commandments, a miniseries or made-for-TV version that I flipped upon by accident. There are shows that you would call B-movies, where the acting is bad, low budget, etc. This was a C-movie.

What I found most confusing about this movie was that instead of Moses' cousin/brother Ramses running the show, it was his father instead, the man that should have already passed on. Wasn't it Moses' brother the Pharoah who's heart was hardened by God? Instead, this fellow was just a high ranking guard. And to make matters worse, Ramses' son -- the boy who dies when "first borns" die, was referred to by his grandfather, as his son.

#4

Brett Favre is set to make an announcement this afternoon about his decision on whether or not to continue his career or retire. It would be hard for me to swallow that last year was his final year and that I'll never get to see Brett Favre play again.

When I think of "Brett Favre", I think 'prolific'. I consider Brett Favre as the greatest quarterback of all time. A lot of people have favorites, some like Joe Montana, John Elway, Dan Marino. And there's a crop of new guys like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer. But if you compare him amongst the quarterbacks of his generation, it's hard to argue that he's not one of the best.

He's won the NFL's Most Valuable Player 3 times. He's thrown over 50,000 yards in his career. He threw 20 or more seasons for 12 consecutive years. 3000+ yards for 14 consecutive years. 30+ touchdowns in a season 8 times.

I think what attracts people to Brett Favre is his passion for the game and the inspiration he brings to the table. He's a loyal guy and durable, since becoming a starter on September 20, 1992 he has started every single Green Bay Packers game. (That's 221 straight football games. Think about that!).

Brett threw a lot of interceptions because he was a high-risk type of guy, a gunslinger. There's a lot of QBs nowadays that are not so much prolific as they are efficient. But QBs of Brett's generation, these were guys who stepped up to the plate to lead their teams by making impossible plays look easy. The use of determination and example to lead their teams.

Favre once threw 5 touchdowns in a single game -- on a sprained ankle -- to help the Packers beat the Bears 35-28.

On December 22, 2003, Brett Favre through for 399 yards and 4 touchdowns -- a great night -- but even greater when you consider his father passed away the day before. I remember watching this game and seeing Favre overcome with emotion, hugging teammates on every play and shedding tears. He dedicated the game to his father. The Packers went on to crush the Oakland Raider 41-7.

What I also loved about Brett Favre is that he made average receivers into great ones. Guys like Robert Brooks, Antonio Freeman, Corey Bradford, Donald Driver, Javon Walker -- of all these guys Javon was probably the most gifted athlete. Green Bay was lucky to never really need to pay for a great receiver. Brett is the kind of guy to take over the game because he had to. Green Bay never had a great defense so Brett had to take matters into his own hands.

I would like to see Brett return for one more year. I'd love to see Green Bay win another Super Bowl but that is not going to happen. I think that Brett knows this and is probably the single most evident reason that he will retire today.

Coming clean

I watched 2 hours of television last night. My parents and I had gone out for dinner at Asian Legend and when we came home we were all vegging on the couch. My dad suggested to me that Lent was a catholic 'religious' thing that we don't participate in. I pointed out that it wasn't Lent, more like a fasting, of television. We talked some more about it, and we all agreed that God must be pleased with what I've accomplished, and that enough was enough.

I flipped on the TV and the 3 of us enjoyed an episode of CSI.

Then I watched some other shows which I can no longer remember at this time.

I was kind of disappointed, this past Tuesday I wanted to go to Mitchell's to buy Hillsong United's new cd "United We Stand". I called ahead and discovered they were sold out. To think they only had 50 copies of it for all of Toronto (they're basically the only Christian bookstore here, at least that I know of). Man, what a bummer. A bunch of us are going to their concert on Saturday, and we won't know any of the songs! That really sucks.

So anyway.. I "acquired" the CD by other means and have been listening to it, you know, at least until I get the CD. It's coming by way of raincheck in a few weeks. I know, I know.. don't even get into it. It's my way of assisting in the worship experience -- this way I'll know the songs prior to the concert -- because otherwise it's just a concert, but if you know the words they're singing, then it can be worship.

I'll review it again once it's "officially" mine. But the main difference I see of this album from the last is a lot less powerchords(?) or something, less metallic sound. More bass guitar and everything else. The CD in general is a lot more melodic, more mellow.

I'm not a big fan of an intro and a bunch of reprises and "Selah"'s they threw in, but otherwise the CD is okay.

Btw, if you haven't guessed, I have a cough/cold. It's irritating because I just got over a stomach thing. Coughing is way more annoying because of the whole needing to cough and the itch. Also, I need my voice for work when I'm constantly communicating with users and co-workers. I'm hoping it all heals up by tomorrow night for the concert. Then I can lose my voice (and hearing), and then do horribly at the choir practice on Sunday, and then be healed up in time for Thursday's Good Friday Service.

Yes, you read that right. Thursday's Good Friday Service :)

Hits

It's funny, I put that up that poll and on that very day this site got a record number of hits. Some people must've been trying to vote several times. I guess there are people out there with absolutely nothing better to do than stuff like that. That makes me sad for this world.

Direct Energy sends a guy to change the air filters every 6 months. They've sent the same guy now for about 2 years. I've talked to him quite a bit since he started coming. It all started when he came and at the time the place was a mess and he saw my guitars out in the living room. He talked about how he wanted to learn to play guitar.

The following visit, he told me he was taking lessons and was getting pretty good at it. And then the following visit after that, the patch cord was broken on my axe and I asked him to test it out. Sure enough, it was broken -- but I noticed he could play pretty good. I was impressed. 1 year in and he had accomplished what he had set out to do -- to learn guitar, rather proficiently I might add.

Today I went to pick up my parents from the airport, and I brought them home. My guitar pal was out in the hall doing someone else's filters so I asked him to come do mine. We spoke again at length about our guitar fun. He and a few pals had started a band and they had been together for awhile. They had about 13 songs they could play. He named a few bands (most of whom I had never even heard of, but what do you expect he's at least 15 years older than me) that they play. It was cool. I told him about my band, how we play Christian Rock and he was impressed too.

We both play rhythm, and his band is very similar to ours. He, the drummer and bass are all beginners, just like us, and the lead guitarist is experienced (just like us!). That was pretty cool. I wonder who does vocals for them..

It's a new feeling to have my parents home. They took my keys and will be driving my car around. It will be weird coming home to a non-empty home. There won't be peace and quiet. They watch television too and I moved my old tv into my grandparents' room and they'll be watching in there, at least until Lent is over.

For me, Lent ends on April 9th. The 8th will be the last of Lent for me, ending a span of 40 days without television. I've had some trouble at around the 30-day mark but otherwise it wasn't too bad. I had some annoyances such as people changing their MSN names to display something that had happened in one of the shows I missed. I turned "BLOCK" on so that I could no longer see or hear from them. Some of those punks know that I'm on Lent and yet they still do it. I'll add them again after Monday. :D

Must-have

I have been reading about the new console systems that are planned to come out in the next year or so. The XBox 360 is already have problems in sales -- but what do you expect when you have a machine that costs $500 and no "must-have" game to go along with it? The biggest problem with XBox 360 is there's no game out right now that makes you think "Boy, that is a really cool game -- I should get an XBox 360!".

But on that note, there really is no game like that on the regular XBox either. What game on XBox is so great that you'd buy an XBox for? I can't think of any.

For Playstation and Playstation 2 (PSX and PS2), these systems are attractive because Playstation has almost a monopoly on Squaresoft and Square Enix games -- RPG games such as the Final Fantasy Series are top-sellers, there are the racing games like the Gran Turismo series. I just read that PS3 was going to cost $750US when it comes out. Who in their right mind would $750 for a gaming system?

Nintendo also has their "must-have" games. They have sole-rights to all Mario games, and then there's the Pokemon games, Zelda and Metriod Prime. Nintendo doesn't make nearly as much in sales as Microsoft or Sony, but they have a rabid following enough to do well. In Japan, Nintendo is still way more popular than Microsoft's XBox.

I guess it kinda makes you wonder -- when is Microsoft going to figure out that no matter how great the hardware, it's the games that make the difference?

Husband Store

I don't usually post jokes, but this one is hilarious and so unbelievably true!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . ...

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Off the wagon

I fell of the wagon on Tuesday night, spending nearly 2 hours online in the World of Warcraft. A new patch came out and I wanted to see it, but because of the patch there was all kinds of server problems and I winded up wandering around on a new character, pretty much just messing around and doing nothing at all.

The following day, I spent another 3 hours playing my old character Smee, trying out some of the new stuff they had added.

I got to talking to some of my old guild members.. many of whom were extremely excited to see me online, just about everyone sent me a message about when I was coming back, and how much they missed me. I guess I provided a sense of "ease" as well as "comedic relief" to some people from some of the wisecracks I used to make.

Truly, I did get a sense of comraderie that I've missed since quitting.

There's a song that's been in my head for the past 2 weeks now, it's a song by Third Day, called "Your Love Oh Lord". It's a popular song, not new or anything. I find that it really speaks to me. I wish I had the CD so I could listen to it but instead I have to settle for playing it and singing it, which isn't nearly as great.

Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains.
Your justice flows like the oceans tide.

And I will lift my voice, to worship you my King.
And I will find my strength, in the shadow of your wings.

Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains.
Your justice flows like the oceans tide.

And I will lift my voice, to worship you my King.
And I will find my strength, in the shadow of your wings.

Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky.

Bite the bullet

I had to bite the bullet yesterday. I was cleaning my bedroom when it occurred to me that it would probably take an entire week for me to clean my room, leaving little or no time to clean the rest of my place. With my parents' arrival looming, I realized there wasn't enough time for me to clean everything. So I called the maid and she'll be coming in to "accelerate" the process.

I've had a maid come in once before and managed to maintain relative cleanliness for approximately 2 months, so, now that I've reached the 5 month mark I don't feel as bad about my 'failing'.

Something interesting I discovered today, was that 2 people at work don't own a microwave. It boggles my mind how a person could survive without a microwave. I mean, what world is this that one can live without a microwave? To have to heat everything up using either a stovetop or oven? That's absolutely insane.. imagine how much time it would take. Let's say you had leftover food from the night before. You'd have to essentially re-cook it. Let's say it was pasta. How would you reheat pasta without cooking it and thus making it mushy? What a disaster, a total disaster.

Don't even get me started on popcorn..

Worship

We had a worship retreat this Saturday, for all those involved with worship for Sunday service at our church. This includes all instrumentalists, vocalists and audio/visual people. It's the first time we've all come together. I didn't know a lot of people and it was cool to get to know all these faces that I've seen a million times.

They invited a worship team from Churchill Heights Baptist church. They were mostly caucasian, although they said their congregation was very multicultural.

Everyone knows that I love to sing. I've been gifted with a good voice, either by God or be circumstances God created for this gift to be passed down to me (my parents are both amazing singers). I used to play piano, flute, and I can play guitar. My brother is not a great singer but he's extremely talented musically -- he can play violin, piano, saxophone, guitar.

When I help to lead worship, I am a vocalist, either the male lead or singing harmony (tenor). I think I'm good at it -- I can pull out harmonies on the fly, even for songs I've never even heard before. It's a gift I think that just comes from playing various instruments and having sung in several choirs or listening to a lot of music. So I just as well assume that this gift is from God, and thus I should use it to serve our church.

I guess what I really wanted to share about is this thing that I've been struggling with for some time and it's basically hit a point where I can no longer continue leading worship. I've been approached by some people saying that I look very serious when I'm up on stage. They say I should smile, try to look like I'm having lots of fun. That, if I do this, it will encourage others to sing louder or allow them to experience a better worship time.

First of all, I completely disagree with this entire philosophy. If people need to be coerced into worshipping God feverently, or excitedly, or enthusiastically, then they are not worshipping God. They're being manipulated into worshipping -- what they are feeling -- happiness, excitement, uplifting -- is not Spirit-led, but human led. It's manufactured worship. To me, that's all wrong.

But getting back to my struggles -- this is the direction that my church wants to go. They want us to smile, look happy, be animated. I cannot worship in this way. Don't get me wrong, I have been happy, I have been animated, at certain times, but it has been spirit-led -- not because everyone else was doing it. So for me to do all that, I am basically being asked to put on a show.

I can't put on a show. I think it's a mockery to God to put on a show before Him, standing up there on the altar and "acting". This isn't the drama team, it's the worship team. The song is called "Here I Am To Worship", not "Here I Am to Jump and Dance So That Others Will Do So Too". But mostly, I can't worship if they want me to act.

Some of you will say that because I'm *leading*, I have to lead by example -- I have to put on a face because that affects other peoples' ability to experience worship. That, because I'm leading, others will look up and think if he's not smiling, then I can't worship properly because he doesn't look like he's having very much fun up there. There are people who are visually influenced, and will notice these things. Preachers will often put on a show, by lowering or yelling their message, to emphasize certain points.

Personally, I rarely if ever, pay any attention to the worship leader, although lately I have been, for the simple reason that I wanted to see if they were smiling. Broken Walls, for instance, didn't smile. People in the sanctuary were dancing around in the aisles, bouncing up and down, holding hands and having a grand ol' time and John Maracle (leader of Broken Walls) never cracked a smile. But then again, why should he?

But again I can understand T3C's point of view, because our congregation for the most part, is deadpan. My thinking is they want to try this because they figure that people will get a better experience -- or rather, people will break out of their shells if they see the leaders doing it.

Anyway, what it all comes down to is whether or not I can put on a show while also being able to worship God.

I can't, so I am taking a break from worship leading until I can figure this out.

Huzzah!

I know some of you have been wondering so..

My dad went in to get his test results yesterday afternoon. I talked to my mom this morning and she said the specialist found some bacteria (ulcer) in his stomach and he'll be okay. His stomach has already begun healing. He has about 8 pills to take every day for the next two weeks, and then he should be fine.

Thanks for all the prayers. The cool thing is that pretty much since the day I shared that he was ailing, he started getting better. I was talking to him about that and he said the pain basically stopped right around the exact same time that I told my small group to pray for him.

God is good! But we all knew that already :P

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wanted to add, that I did what many would consider a very stupid thing to do. But I did it anyway and I think it was the right thing to do. You see, I get these bi-weekly paystubs, and they show how many vacation days I have. They list them by the carry-overs from last year, and my current ones from this year.

For the longest time I wondered when they would subtract the 5 days I took off over the Christmas holidays. I figured there was a backlog of timesheets and that they were just taking forever to update. Essentially I had a surplus of 5 days that I should have had. Anyway, I contacted the payclerk and she was able to correct the error.

I have 4 weeks left now.

That's actually 1 more week than I was expecting. I was expecting to use 1 week for a vacation to Africa, 1 week for Longlac, and 1 week for Christmas time. But now I have an extra week. Clearly, I am not going to Africa because I haven't even started to research it, let alone plan it. So that gives me 2 weeks of extra vacation time! Currently, my plan is to use that time in the fall for some R&R for myself, and then find another missions trip for the additional week I found.

Big Sub

I got my subwoofer yesterday. It's absolutely humongous. But let me share with you a hilarious conversation I had with a friend, Will from Maryland. [I kept our skillfull punctuation and spelling to retain the realness]

me: i got my sub. it's huge
Will: take a pic
Brian: I can't eblieve how big it is.. it's like an automan.. i could put a cushion on top and put my feet up
Will: haha nice
me: ok
me: maybe they're all that big, but i think it's just bigger than i expected
Will: where did you get it
i goto safeway for my subs now
cuz theyre enormous
me: i got mine from Onecall
i think.. some site grayson sent me
Will: ohhh i thought you were talkin about a sandwich
lol
me: HAHAHA
Will: u were making me hungry!
a giant sub
mmmmmmm
mmmmm sub
now i'm dis­ap­poin­ted
me: HAHAHA thats funny
Will: i want to eat a huge sub
like automon huge

He thought I was talking about a submarine sandwich!!

I haven't plugged in the subwoofer yet, since I cannot watch television. It has a giant speaker pointing down. I have a feeling that when I plug that sucker in, with a cd player, and Jack Johnson -- I'm gonna have some angry neighbors knocking on my door.

Day 22

Yesterday afternoon I actually decided my Lent period would change from Mar1-Apr16 to Mar1-Apr8. I am still doing the 40 days, and since Sundays weren't supposed to count and I was still doing them, I decided Apr8 is more appropriate for me.

This morning, I felt a little lost. Last night I learned that a friend of mine had slipped and sounded as if she wasn't going ahead with her 'fasting' anymore. It was disappointing to say the least. I had decided to pull my Lent back 8 days, and then I find out a fellow Lent'r was giving up. I guess you could say I was a little rattled.

I made a commitment to God to stop watching television for 40 days.

When I woke up this morning and switched on my computer, opened up the folder I have full of shows I've downloaded (shows that I've missed over the past 22 days). Clicked on an episode of 24 and stopped.

I made a commitment to God to stop watching television for 40 days.

If I can't keep a commitment to the Lord, then what does that say about me? That I'm a weak human being -- tell me something I didn't know. That I need God in everything that I do, especially in times of temptation.

What if I decided to give up my current way of life and devote it all God, would I be able to do it, if I can't even give up a form of entertainment for a few days?

When in doubt, ask God for advice.

I wanted to open up a bible and turn to a random page and find the answer to my ponderings. But instead turned to someone who always seems to have the answer -- Oswald Chambers. Here is an excerpt of TODAY's reading.

Much of the distress we experience as Christians comes not as the result of sin, but because we are ignorant of the laws of our own nature. For instance, the only test we should use to determine whether or not to allow a particular emotion to run its course in our lives is to examine what the final outcome of that emotion will be. Think it through to its logical conclusion, and if the outcome is something that God would condemn, put a stop to it immediately. But if it is an emotion that has been kindled by the Spirit of God and you don’t allow it to have its way in your life, it will cause a reaction on a lower level than God intended. That is the way unrealistic and overly emotional people are made. And the higher the emotion, the deeper the level of corruption, if it is not exercised on its intended level. If the Spirit of God has stirred you, make as many of your decisions as possible irrevocable, and let the consequences be what they will. We cannot stay forever on the "mount of transfiguration," basking in the light of our mountaintop experience (see Mark 9:1-9 ). But we must obey the light we received there; we must put it into action. When God gives us a vision, we must transact business with Him at that point, no matter what the cost.

I don't know if God would condemn my actions of watching television, but rather I think what He's telling me here is to make the most of my "basking in the light of our mountaintop experience" -- that is, Ishskwaday. Rather than dwelling on my Lent, I should be putting into action what God has placed in my heart from the conference. I think that's the lesson to be learned today.

Ishskwaday 2006

I'm still attempting to piece together all the information and feelings I have on the conference. It was such an unbelievable experience.

On Friday, I headed over to TKPC at 3pm. I was a volunteer/usher, we were supposed to get there earlier to start helping out and setting up. The thing didn't start til 7pm though.

Sometime while we were in the foyer waiting for registrants, Jessie from Longlac came out -- one of the older youth that we befriended while in Longlac. She and her brother would come over to the church to eat with us. It was sad news when we asked about Eddie and she said that he didn't come because he was in jail.

Anyway, about the actual conference. Friday night's large group session featured the church's praise team, Richard Twiss (keynote speaker), and then worship time with Broken Walls. Richard Twiss is this huge tall guy, a native Sioux. He spoke about .......

During the worship time with Broken Walls, with the beat of the drums -- something, or someone came over me. I became intoxicated. It was the strangest feeling I've probably ever experienced, it was as if all of a sudden while singing along with Broken Walls, someone had injected 5 beers into me and I was drunk. I started to fidget and eventually dance along to the music. No really -- I danced. My face and my hands felt numb. It was very, very strange. I don't think I've ever felt that way, a total peace and tranquility -- which is strange because the music was pretty intense. The tribal beats they used on the big drum, it was like nothing I've ever heard before, it kind of put me into a trance.

I used to joke around about being "drunk with God's love". Never thought it'd actually happen to me! Anyway, that was the most memorable part of the night for me.

We got 3 seminar/workshop courses on Saturday. The first one I took was led by Judy Desmoulin, one of the people we worked with in Longlac. She came to speak about the sociology aspect of the First Nations people. She talked about their history and how everything happened, some of it was review from what we had heard last summer when Gilbert talked about his testimony.

I was devastated when I heard about what had happened at Longlac recently. The police had raided the reserve based on a case they had built on some kind of drug ring. They raided the reserve quite violent and forcefully, and arrested several people. They're currently being held and won't get out until the end of the month. The others on the reserve are terrified now, in fear that someone could break into their homes at any given time. And the children -- that's the saddest part -- witnessed their parents get taken away, and they're at home now with no one to take care of them. The thought of those kids all alone..sigh

Judy talked about other things, like the neglect of children. She said one time she was driving through town and saw a 2 year old girl standing outside her house in the rain. Her parents had thrown a party and were inside drinking and smoking. Judy said she took her into her car -- and kept her -- for the next 18 years. The child's parents never came looking for her.

It's all these kinds of sad and hopeless stories that really put a perspective on the conditions in Longlac.

Judy also talked about some other injustices that the natives have had to face. The Indian Act was set and limited indians from gaining the rights of adults. It forced them to go to school until 16, residental schools abused children and put them through hard labor. Children were literally taken from their homes to go to these schools. Indians were afraid to teach their kids their native languages in fear that their kids would face the same atrocities they had faced. Their long hair was cut. The schools took away their culture. Families were split up.

The second seminar I went to was on the legal context of the native plight. I slept for most of this particular seminar, not because it was boring but rather because it came immediately after lunch. The speaker was Jennifer Dalton, a student at York University to specialised in the study of the consitutional legal protections of Aboriginal peoples in Canada. She talked a lot about the Indian Act and about self-determination and self-governization (the lack thereof).

The third seminar was based on the theme "Where do we go from here?" The gist of this seminar was the partnering with other churches, to unify for further missions -- and most importantly mobilizing natives to join us to travel to other countries to serve God together. This is Pastor Joe's (TKPC) vision. I think it's a great radical way of thinking. We've been working so hard to serve them, but the idea of serving alongside them, that would be so incredible.

The key messages, I think, were about unity -- Radical community to diverse unity. He asked us to try to see the bible through an indian's eyes. That we need to perceive the message differently and to understand how to better communicate the gospel so that it could be more effective. He talked about the importance of affirmation and blessings, of connectiveness, community and belonging.

He talked about how Christianity is considered a "white man's" religion, which is why it is rejected by Indians. He talked about how we need to transform the gospel into a native context, and then he retold important stages of the bible in a native point of view.

Funny line -- he called white people "pigmentally challenged", that they were all "bleached out". I thought that was pretty funny.

The second wave of Broken Walls music was less satisfactory for me because I had a terrible stomach ache. Dinner did not agree with me -- we had chinese food. Which is just weird, to have chinese food at a Korean church. I bet I wouldn't have been sick if we had bulgogi! However, we did still dance, we joined hands for various songs and everyone was dancing together, it was truly a unifying experience.

I really enjoyed this conference and got a whole lot out of it. It was a harsh reminder of what we had already seen last summer. The harsh reality of it. But it was also an amazing feeling of worshipping together. And I got a chance to talk to some of the youth -- a demographic we never connected with last summer -- so that was cool. And I met so many amazing people, other missionaries, people who have been helping the Natives for years and years. So many passionate, loving people, who were totally excited about what God has/had been doing in their lives and in their ministries.

I Believe

"I Believe" by Building 429

Walk blindly to the light
And reach out for His hand
Don't ask any questions
And don't try to understand

Open up your mind
And then open up your heart
You will see that you and me
We aren't very far part

Chorus:
'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe love will find a way
I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find a way

Violence has spread worldwide
And there's families in the streets
We sell drugs to children now
Well why can't we just see

That all we do is eliminate our future
With the things we do today
Money is our incentive now
And that makes it okay

(Chorus)

Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand

Yea.. I bought another CD. The album is called "Rise", newly released album by Building 429. I don't have much to say about them yet, since I just bought it.

Today I took a day off work so that I could go early to Ishskwaday to help out. Ishskwaday is the Native Missions Conference that I think I've mentioned before. It starts tonight and goes all day tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to this and I'll talk about it when it's all said and done.

March Madness

Because of Lent I'll miss all the games in March Madness. But here are my predictions. I picked UConn, Texas, Duke and Oklahoma as my final 4 when the season started. Hey, I got 2 out of 4, which is pretty sad actually. Oklahoma wasn't even close, while Texas ended up a #2 seed.

Once again all predictions were made based on the number of potential NBA players on each roster. Last year after UNC won, I predicted UConn would win this year. This year, I predict Kansas will win next year. Anyway, my breakdown -- and this is purely for my own safe-keeping as I know that 99% of the readers will think "oh great, not another sports post".

Round 1
Atlanta: Duke, Geo. Washington, Syracuse, LSU, West Virginia, Iowa, California, Texas
Oakland: Memphis, Arkansas, Pittsburgh, Kansas, San Diego St., Gonzaga, Alabama, UCLA
Washington: Connecticut, Kentucky, Washington, Illinois, Michigan St., North Carolina, Wichita St., Winthrop
Minneapolis: Villanova, Arizona, Nevada, Boston Coll., Oklahoma, Florida, Georgetown, Ohio St.


Sweet Sixteen
Atlanta: Duke, LSU, West Virginia, Texas
Oakland: Memphis, Kansas, Gonzaga, Alabama
Washington: Connecticut, Washington, Michigan St., Winthrop
Minneapolis: Villanova, Nevada, Florida, Georgetown

Elite Eight
Atlanta: Duke, Texas
Oakland: Kansas, Gonzaga
Washington: Connecticut, Michigan St.
Minneapolis: Villanova, Florida

Final Four
Duke, Kansas, Connecticut, Florida

Finals
Duke, Connecticut

Winner: Connecticut. 87-81.

Next Year Champs: Kansas

Inventory

The other day, I was talking about buying more cd's -- there's a few new ones coming out:

Hillsong United

Building 429

Kutless?

Mercy Me

Jadon Lavik

Anyway, I was talking about these cd's with Andrew, and he remarked that I must have a huge CD collection since I'm always talking about buying this or that album. I guess I never really thought about it, I just assumed everyone buys CDs when they want them, and that they want ALL CDs.

The idea that I might obsessed or fixated on having every CD for every band that I enjoy -- it made me a little self conscious about this problem that I have. I didn't think I had a very big collection. I bought a lot of Green Day and Mariah Carey album's in highschool. And others too, but nothing as obsessively as Mariah and Green Day. Then through most of university I illegally downloaded everything.

Tapes wise, I only bought 1 tape ever -- "Kris Kross - Totally Krossed Out". Man, I loved those guys. With their backwards jeans.. and the miggida miggida miggida Mac Daddy.

But CDs, I bought a lot of them once I started working. I erased all my mp3's and bought many of the CDs that I had mp3's of, either because I felt like I couldn't live without them, or because I felt guilty about having listened to the albums a lot without ever buying them. The latter choice was probably pretty dumb because now I have a bunch of CDs that I will probably never listen to again.

But how big is big? Is 25 a lot? 50? How about 297?

The next thing is realizing how much I've spent on the CDs, or let's say even music in general. That would include CD players, discmans, mp3 players, walkmans, on top of all the media. I'm a music junkie, I'm like the cookie monster with music. I can't stop. I don't want to. That's quite an "investment"...

OK, so I don't have 297. But still, it's something for me to think about, especially next week when I buy 3 more to make it an even 300. Just kidding!

Day 13

Btw, I am an idiot. Every day I've been counting the days I have been Lenting, not realizing that the whole thing started on the 1st of the month, and I could have just taken the date.

Anyway.. someone found me some fun to play with, so here it is. There's this test, Johari Nohari -- I know it sound like some kind of occult chant, but it's not. It's a personality test but it's more about how people perceive you.

You take these two links, and go ahead and fill them in. The instructions are on the site.

Johari
Nohari

Okay, so go ahead and do those, I won't be offended. This is really great because it gets updated on the fly. It's almost like watching tv!

Day 11

I think reality kinda hit me today, when I was talking to my dad today on Google Talk. Okay.. I'll do sad news first, then happy news.

The sad news is while I was talking to my dad, he asked me about Lent, and pointed out that I got myself into it. I was lamenting on the fact that I was completely bored out of my mind with nothing to do, and he kind of laughed at me about it. He's right though, I could have done anything for Lent. I could have given up pork. Or chicken. Or meat altogether. That would have been easier than giving up TV. It's that point when your own dad laughs at you, that reality sets in.

Onto the happy news, or maybe the amazing news, is that I told my small group about my dad's illness last week on Friday, and according to him, his stomach has stopped hurting since that day. He's still going in for the test, and yeah I can't say I've got my hopes up but it's nevertheless an item of praise.

Day 10

I got to hear a recording of a few of the American Idol singers. I was happy to hear that the future Mrs. Brian Yao is still in the competition. The recording I heard of her was awesome. She sang "Think" by Aretha Franklin, and it was just fantastic. Her voice is good enough that you can't tell if she's exerting herself to hit the difficult notes -- it seems to just comes naturally. I wish I could have seen it. I mean look at her -- what a cutie..!

I think Katharine McPhee will definitely finish in the top 2 women. People are saying that this year will be a guy's turn to win it. No matter.. after she displays her talents on AI, Katharine will sign a record deal and still be successful. What can I say.. I've got McPhee-ver!

I made my infamous Beef Brisket again last night, for a potluck we're having tonight's small group. The guys and girls are splitting to do our own thing and the guys decided to do a potluck. I told this to one of my co-workers and he asked me what the point was to cook for a bunch of guys. I think his statement has some merit..

I made a presentation today. I was a bit nervous this morning, and became more nervous as it got closer because it occurred to me that I wasn't the least bit prepared. At the last minute I typed out exactly what I was going to say, and read it. It took 3 minutes. I had 15 minutes allotted. Oh well. Funny thing is, it ended up taking about 25 minutes. :P

I revisited my 5 year plan again, of quitting my job after 5 years. I think it will be a full-time ministry type of thing. At least that's what I'm envisioning right now. One of my Christian co-workers told me that there was no way I could "retire" in 4+ years. I told him to have a little faith.

Are you afraid to die?

Just thought I'd throw that one out there.

I think people in general are afraid to die. There's a certain amount of finality to dying, because when you do, everything ends. Your relationships, your belongings, and then you leave behind that responsibility that you had — someone else will need to pick up the slack. Perhaps if you die, a large financial burden will fall upon those who depended on you. I also think people like being alive, just like how people are unhappy when they are sick, because they feel less alive. Whereas death is the ultimate where you're just dead.

As Christians, there's no finality because we've been granted eternal life, the life after this life. If anything, it's a blessing because we always knew we would be leaving, and plus it'll be so much better in heaven than it is here on earth.

But I think that, with most Christians and myself included, there is still some fear or at least a bit of nervousness and uneasiness when we ponder our own end. You may feel bad for dying because of the pain it would cause others around you. I know for me, I would really feel sorry for my mass of fans who will miss me so much. ;)

There's a certain amount of guilt involved with it too, as if to say "HEY! I still have more to do!". I mean if God decided to give you a surprise early retirement, wouldn't most of us think "Whoa whoa whoa... can you give me a second please? Give me.. a month.. no — a year. I still have way more to do. Lemme finish those things, and THEN I'll come home." It'd be like what the little boy says to his mom when she tells him it's bedtime. "Just 5 more minutes.."

And then you'd sit back and think of all the time you wasted, sitting in front of the television or computer, hours wasted studying in the library about some topic that had absolutely no use towards your mission. Sitting at your desk at work 8-10 hours per day or hours spent in a boardroom discussing topics that don't matter, or the countless hours spent lying awake in bed, thinking about some girl (or boy) who wasn't even worth your time.

Isn't it also funny, that a non-christian would cite all those similar things as major accomplishments in their life? This has become more and more apparent as I talk with my co-workers (I have no other non-christian friends in any other circuit of my life). They sit around at lunch and all they talk about is new car models, interest rates and investments, and taxes.

It's really kind of sad when you think about these empty goals and achievements, being the pinnacle of their ambitions.

Pork chops, Q & A

I had written a post about death, but it's on Notepad at work. I'll have to post it tomorrow instead. Instead, let's all hear about what I had for dinner today.

Q: What's that you're eating there? It looks good.
A: Why hello there. I'm eating porkchops.

Q: What's so great about porkchops?
A: I can tell you with great certainty there is absolutely nothing "great" about porkchops. It's just pork and salt. And pepper. It's a little fatty but all in all, pretty tasty indeed.

Q: Say, what the heck is that pink stuff next to your porkchop?
A: Oh, that's applesauce. Actually, it's strawberry applesauce, so it's got the added yummy strawberry flavor on top of the tangy applesauce flavor.

Q: Wait, wait. Are you saying that you're having pork with apple?
A: I sure am. It's really yummy. I can tell you that the applesauce complements the pork flavor quite well. Yessiree! Porkchops and applesauce are A-OK in my book!

Recipe for porkchops:
2 porkchops
Salt
Pepper
Vegetable oil

Pour a bit of oil into a saucepan. When hot, place porkchops into the pan. Add salt and pepper to taste. Flip when brown. Oh, use medium heat.

Recipe for applesauce:
applesauce

Put applesauce on porkchop. Serve.

All jokes aside, porkchop has to be the most uninteresting thing ever to make. I think even making instant noodles is more exciting. I am not going to bother attempting this again because it didn't even taste all that great. This is probably a good recipe for students though.

Btw, I feel like crap right now. No-no, it's not from the porkchop. I had 5 minigo's for lunch. What a big mistake. Next time I'll limit myself to 4. :D

Prayer items

I want to request that everyone prays for my father, who will be undergoing an EGD on March 17, 2006. EGD stands for esophagogastroduodenoscopy, so let's just stick with EGD because that's way too much to type out.

He's been having stomach pains off and on (more on than off) over the past 3 months and so he's going to have it checked out. Hopefully it's nothing. It would be great if it's just an ulcer, which can be fixed with some medicine.

Also, one of my cousins is also going in for an endoscopy on Wednesday. I think it's similar so please for him as well. I have a co-worker who went for the endoscopy this afternoon.

I was doing some reading and according to this site and this site, found that cancer is extremely prevalent among the asian community. The stats are rather alarming. When I talked to my dad about his stomach problems, he pointed out that oriental men experience the highest rate of stomach cancer out of all racial/ethnic groups. In fact, that site says the highest is for Korean men, other sites say Japanese people in general.

Blanket

I have been feeling colder and colder every night and I think I have finally figured out why. Last night, I noticed that most of the filling in my comforter has bunched up over to the side. In other words, right now my blanket is essentially two pieces of very thin cloth. There's no filling at all in most of it. That's why I've been so cold these past few nights. That could also be why I've been unable to sleep well.

Someone at work suggested that I buy a Duvet. One of my co-workers, "Anthony", really cracks me up. He told me to get a Duvet simply because women love them and it's an easy way to get them into bed. Apparently he's experienced at this. Haha.. what a funny guy. He's always giving me great ideas. Hilarious! Anyway, I also considered a Duvet for the more practical reason that it's supposed to be very warm.

The trouble is I have a twin-sized bed and it seems like an awful waste of money to buy a Duvet for a twin -- that is if they even make them that small. Maybe I'll buy a queen sized Duvet for the guest room bed, and then just sleep in that bed until winter is over. Ohh.. that's a great idea!

Day 5

A couple things I noticed about abstaining from television.

First, I am getting way less sleep than when I watched TV. I used to watch tv right before bed, and it would put me into a sleepy mode. I'd be either dozing off or I had slept 20-30 minutes in front of the television before bed. So it was a good transition for me before bed. I'm missing that now and I find it takes a lot longer for me to fall asleep. And as I mentioned, I'm missing those naps I'd have when I dozed off from watching TV. I tried to take my usual "2 hours of napping in front of the TV on a Sunday afternoon" nap in bed today and really couldn't get it going.

Second, I have a way lower inclination to cook. For some reason, because I'm locked up in my room now (my room has the best lighting in the house and it's the warmest room) all the time, and when I'm in here, I have no inclination to go out of my room. That includes going to the fridge to grab a snack or drink, and henceforth, to cook. I have not cooked for myself since Lent began. I think part of it is that I used to cook and enjoy my meal in front of the TV. I could eat slow and enjoy the taste and the show. Now, I just stare into nothing and eat. It's depressing.

So I would say that at this point it's working, because I'm suffering and that's great because I love to suffer. In previous years, giving up gaming or chatting, there were alternatives. But by the end both those Lents, I guess I would say that I had gotten used to it. However if you think about Christ's sufferings, I don't think you can ever "get used to" someone whipping you with a mace. It's not like after 3 hours of flogging you think "Hey, this isn't so bad.. I think I'm getting used to this.."

Praise God for allowing me to find a way in which I can find suffering such that I can be constantly reminded of His sufferings.

Out of love or necessity

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about serving out of love or out of necessity. By serving of course, I mean serving in God's purposes.

My initial reaction is that it isn't so black and white. There is the grey area where you serve both out of love and out of necessity. Is it wrong to feel "obliged" to go on missions, when God's command for us is to do so? I remember the sermon by Pastor Daniel at OCAC. A. B. Simpson (founder of the Alliance Church) said that if you truly believe in the second coming, then there is no possible way that you are not thinking about missions all the time. I tend to agree with this. My interpretation is that, if you believe Christ is coming back, then there can't be an iota of your being that isn't missions driven.

I did not have this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach or urgency towards the Native people in Canada that drove me to go on a missions trip to Longlac. Sure, I've grown fond of them since then, having spent time with them, and knowing their history and seeing their poverty with my own eyes helps me to understand their plight and need for God. At this point I would say that I have a heart for the Natives. But at the time, when I was there, and when I made the decision to go -- it was definitely a decision based on obedience and sense of duty.

But not all my actions are based on duty or obedience. Although I believe this is a tricky topic. I mean, you can go and say I did this and that for a person because I love that person. But then are you saying that God had nothing to do with it? That, you made the decision on your own and are doing it for yourself? Because then you are taking credit away from God. God *is* love. So in reality, although you may have thought you did this and that for someone, the truth is you did it for God and that God had a hand in your action.

It's like that whole pride/humble thing. If I say "I'm humble", then I'm being proud I just cancelled it out.

But I think I'm digressing. Do I serve at church out of love or necessity? In that sense -- do they *need* me to go up there and sing? Not really. I do it out of love, love for worshipping God and love for singing. I enjoy singing, and I enjoy worshipping God. I guess in some sense that explains why I can never smile or jump around on stage even when people ask me to. Because that's no longer me worshipping God, it's me putting on a show to help others get in the mood. Bleh.. if people need me to do something to get them into the mood to worshipping God, then they probably need some counselling. How can you, as a believer, not be in the mood to worship Him, or feel uncomfortable worshipping God?

Once again, I digress.

So... what was my point. Yea.. man, I hate when you lose your train of thought, and you don't want to hit "Save as Draft", because you just know that when you come back to this post again, you'll delete the whole thing and start over?

My point is, everything I do for God I do it because I love Him, and as a result I feel the urgency to obey him. Yes, that's it. Done and done. Good night!

Day 2

Day 1 was too easy, because I spent the entire day at work, and then the entire evening at the ACC watching the sad pathetic Toronto Raptors lose.

Today was tough though. I was sick today so I stayed home. So that's 8 hours right there of avoiding television. And then another 6-7 more for after hours. I meditated, which helped a lot. And then for the other 14.5 hours, I moped about. I read the passage for tomorrow's bible study for small group.

I played some games and I napped. I drank lots of orange juice.

I went out for dinner, to just get some food, came back and felt very cold (that was 30 minutes ago), I still feel really cold. I'm probably going to bed again in an hour or so.

I just read over this post, and boy is it ever boring.

429; Purell

There's a new Building 429 album coming out this month. I was surprised because usually I'm on the ball when it comes to these things. I guess it's proof that I haven't spent quite as much time in front of the computer as I used to.

The way I found out was from Mitchell's Family Bookstore, who called me to let me know it was coming out so that I could pre-order it. That surprised me as well. Firstly, I didn't know Mitchell's did things like that. And secondly, I didn't think Building 429 was so popular that they needed a pre-ordering service.

Praise God that they got the exposure they've needed. Their song "Glory Defined" is on the latest WOW Worship CD. Good for them!

Anyway, you can go to this site to preview a couple of their songs. After listening to them a few times, I can see that they've gone over to the rock side (whereas "Space In Between Us" was more of a mixture of rock and pop-rock). This excites me because there aren't really any hard rock Christian bands out there -- a genre that I actually really enjoy.

I heard of a group called Kutless a few years ago and a few friends have mentioned that they are pretty good. I'll probably have to check them out when I go pick up my Building 429 cd.

--

I've fallen into yet another obsession, this time at work. I have this bottle of Purell, that I squeeze into my hand. I'm obsessed with it. I just love it. I put it on any time my hands aren't silky smooth. Even a tiny bit of sweat gives me an excuse to squeeze another excessive amount of Purell on my fingers. It feels so great.

I've used up a tiny 59mL bottle in about 2 weeks. It's like magic.. it just cleans me and then it disappears into thin air, like magic gel!

--

The City abolished their "mandatory retirement" rule. You can work here forever now. And of course, you would because why retire and only get 70% of your salary if you can work here forever and get 100%? Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Seriously though, why would anyone work past 55 unless they had to? I sure wouldn't. I'd rather live like a student and eat crap for the rest of my life and rent a basement apartment, than have to work past 55. Seriously.

Why do I Lent

Every Easter, we are reminded with images of the crucifixion, the crown of thorns, nails in His hands, and His followers mourning and weeping His pain and death. These are images that remind us of the huge sacrifice that Jesus took, pain that He endure for me and you.

To this day, I still wonder why He would do something like that for me. I certainly don't deserve it. I need a constant reminder of His sufferings in order for me to be properly prepared for Easter.

To me, that's what Lent is all about. To be reminded of God's sacrifice and Jesus' sufferings as He died on the cross for me. God's gift to us allowed us to avoid being nailed on the cross and suffering for our sins. Truly, what we Lent is nothing compared to what He did for us, but in some ways its a way for us to do our part.

So my purpose for Lent is to give up something of my own, a sacrifice of a significant part of my every day life. Not just an inconvenience or something I can just think "ah well", and move on. It has to be something that I'll be constantly reminded of, and when I'm reminded of it, I must think about what Christ did for me.

Laterally, I like to give up something that is a luxury, something that might actually do me some good in giving up.

This year I've decided to sacrifice television. I hope that all of you can keep me accountable, not only of my abstaining from television, but to keep me focused on the purpose behind my sacrifice.

Starting on March 1st until April 16th, I will not use my television. This include the TV card on my computer. So no television for 46 days, no movies, xbox/gamecube games, no sports, commercials, news, weather, sitcoms, dramas, reality shows, DVDs.

Better Days

I'm chickening out. I'm gonna Lent television. I can't go without computer.. how would I grab chords to play guitar? Or look up chords for that matter. Or print out maps to go to places? Or how would I communicate with my parents? I can't give up computer/internet. I'll just be more conscious about my surfing habits.

There's a song I found out about reading Lon's blog. I think it has a good theme to it that fits well with our Salvation Army Fundraiser we had last night with the Illuminate fellowship group.

This is a song by the Goo Goo Dolls, a song that, after I heard it I immediately went to look up to see if the Dolls had converted to Christianity. Last I checked, they had not. I don't have the song on me, but you can check it out here for free from mp3.com. Here are the lyrics:

Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Anyway, tomorrow I am gonna try to make a beef dip, or rather, probably tonight. I'm gonna try to slow cook it and then eat it tomorrow. I got tons of bread.. they were giving them away after the fundraiser.

Lent

Yup, it's that time of year again.

Miraculously, this topic was brought up by one of my co-workers, who is an orthodox Christian. He was explaining to another co-worker that he had to give up basically all meats except fish until Easter. That was when I piped in about my ban on MSN last year, and video games the year before. I was actually surprised because I didn't know that he was a Christian.

Anyway, it's that time of year again, when I have to try and figure out something I could give up for God, in His Name, starting from Ash Wednesday (March 1), until Easter Sunday.

The chat thing is big, but I did that already and I don't feel like I've been necessarily chatting excessively to have it be something that I need to give up. And I'm already not gaming that much having quit World of Warcraft a month ago. And I've been playing my friend's xbox, which I had borrowed, but not to the point that I am setting aside time to play.

One co-worker suggested I give up the use of my iPod. I told him that would be nothing because I would just sleep on the subway instead.

But what I have been doing a lot of though, is watching television and to a lesser extent, surfing the web. Television has been on my mind a lot, what with my future wife on American Idol every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Survivor on Thursdays, Lost on Wednesdays, 24 on Mondays, Smallville on Thursdays. The list goes on and on. And then there's sports. I'm watching them all the time, and then I go on the web and read up on them too. It's an endless cycle of entertaining myself in some way or another.

So, without further adieu, my Lent for this year will be....

[drumroll please]

I, Brian Yao, will give up all entertaining technology including: television, computer, internet and portable music outside of work hours, to God. Starting on Wednesday, March 1, 2006 until April 8, 2006.

The conditions are that anything that is under my control I will keep in control, but anything outside of my control -- well, that's out of my control. So if someone has their music playing and I happen to hear it, then so be it. Or if someone tells me the score of something, then I will listen.

This is in my opinion, as close to a total sacrifice on my part as I can think of. I will be giving up:

March Madness

24

Lost

Alias (when it returns)

Smallville

Essentially, the rest of the Raptor season

Survivor

Apprentice

Leaf games

Academy Awards

Katharine McPhee (American Idol)

Xbox

Family Guy

Music on MP3

Music, radio on my car

Prison Break (when it returns)

Blogging (unless I update at work?)

Surfing the web

Chatting and emailing (except at work)

Movies

I will add to this as I think of more

There's some debate over the conditions of Lent. For instance, March 1 to April 15 is not 40 days but actually 46 days. Supposedly it doesn't count Sundays. Maybe I could do this and just go all out on Sundays -- that's a possibility. But the way I figure it, is that I'll be cheating at work anyway so I should ignore the skipping of Sundays. Oh, and I'll have to cheat once when I do my taxes, which will be some time in April, depending on when my dad flies in.

So. There you have it. In 2006 Lent, I'll be pretending that I don't have internet or a television -- entertaining myself by playing guitar, reading books and talking on the phone. For 46 days.

Ugh..

Flying Into Daybreak

Between my trip to Ottawa and hanging out with my brother during his Reading Week, I've had little or no time to do some things I've been wanting to do, especially getting a chance to sit down and listen to Charlie Hall's new album, "Flying Into Daybreak", and write a review for it. After talking to Drew, we both agreed that this is not a great album from cover to cover, but it does have a few good songs on it. Overall I would give it a 7.5/10.

Show/Hide Review

What initially attracted me to Charlie Hall was when we heard him at Passion Toronto. He opened for Chris Tomlin and David Crowder, and we've heard him in many albums produced by the 268generation crew. What was curious, was the fact that he had so few albums under his belt. I think this album here gives a good indication of why.

Charlie's not a great singer. He had a nasal sound in his voice, it sounds very sharp, not tonal sharp, just sharp. You have to hear it to understand what I'm saying. He sounds a bit like.. if the Counting Crows guy were holding nose closed while singing.

However, where Charlie makes up for his bad singing is in his songwriting. He's a bit less mainstream from the other christian leaders. When you listen to Christian music, you find that the same vocabulary is being used over and over. With Charlie, his songs sound lyrically. Also, the music itself is different. It's not the standard rock or standard pop. It tries to be a bit of everything.

My beef with this CD is that he tries too hard to make it different. I can't tell what his style is. He tries it all and it makes it confusing for the listener to know what kind of a song is coming up next. The CD just doesn't flow well. Maybe all the songs were made at different times and he just threw it all together.

Center

Chorus:
Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our lives
Be the center of our lives

You're the center of the universe
Everythin was made in You, Jesus
Breath of every living thing
Everyone was made for You

Pre-Chorus:
You hold everything together
You hold everything together

Tag:
We life our eyes to heaven
We wrap our lives around your life
We life our eyes to heaven, to You

I'm in love

That's right, it's finally happened. I'm in love.

Last night, a girl sang "Since We Fell In Love" to me, and I fell in love almost instantly. She had an amazing voice, she was like Norah Jones but with more soul, and silky smooth almost like Streisand. Flawless on the pitch.. man, she was amazing. She has long brown hair, and sweet, innocent smile. She sang for about 2 minutes and I was hooked.

Her name is Katherine McPhee.

Too bad I have no chance.. she'll be this year's American Idol.

No compassion

While we were sitting around in the living at Andrew's place in Ottawa, I noticed that they had a picture of a Compassion kid on their fridge. I pointed it out and Andrew said his name, as if he was reciting something. I thoought it was funny, because it seemed as if he was being tested. Lisa explained that she does all the writing for the letters they send to the kid.

I explained to them that I couldn't write to my kid, because I didn't know what to say without offending or disappointing him. I remember calling Compassion and asking them what I should write about, and they suggested I tell them what I enjoy doing or eating. I thought it was crazy. I mean, imagine I tell him I like playing video games and eating pizza. These are luxuries he will probably never see.

We got into the subject of sending them our pictures, which we both agreed is not the best idea because we really don't know what's happening on the other side. Who knows if there's even a kid at all, maybe it's all a show. Etc. (Mind you I don't actually believe this, but if there is 1 fake out there out of 1000 kids, I wouldn't be surprised.)

What about visiting the child? My feeling is that it would be detrimental to visit the child, because if I went there, and he saw me and saw what I was wearing, and how healthy I was, then he would know that I could afford much more than just the measely $30 I send him every month. The fact is, each of us could afford to feed entire villages for decades with what we make in a month.

So yea, no visitations.

Ottawa

I went to Ottawa this weekend to visit friends, and to catch the end of Winterlude. The weather was extremely cold. The morning of the day we arrived, they had received a pretty bad freezing rain storm. Everything was covered in a cm of ice and the roads were all covered in snow. On the way up, it was me, Eric, Kenric and Charita.

I drove the whole way, which was a first for me, I've never driven such a long distance before. It wasn't too bad though, on the way up I drove pretty recklessly, reaching speeds of 160 km/h and averaging around 150 km/h. We got there in a hurry! On the way back it was darker and I was a bit more tired and I only drove about 130 km/h. I never once felt like falling asleep although there was once that I felt like the food coma might be falling upon me. Fortunately it never came. There's something about having someone else drive your car. I dunno, I'm sure I would've turned it over had I felt very tired, but there's just something about it. It's MY car. I don't like the idea of other people driving it.

In Ottawa, I stayed downtown with everyone else at Chris and Marion's place. They were situated in the heart of downtown, right by the art gallery and just a few steps from the Market. Man, if Lon and I had a place that close, that would've been so awesome. Although the rent isn't cheap there.

C&M didn't make full use of their place though, I guess because of the cold weather and as students, they didn't have much time. They didn't experience Ottawa like we did as co-op students back in the day.

On the first night, as big-city-folk, we were bored quickly. We spent most of the evening watching Olympics or playing Xbox, while consuming large amounts of alcohol. For dinner we went to a place called The Works, a burger place. It had great burgers, great onion rings. I especially enjoyed the sweet potatoe fries.. very yummy.

I think what's great about Ottawa, is that it's a small town and people live a simple life. There's more time for God.

That's not to say I don't have time for God, as a big-city boy. But that because you're living a simpler life in a small city, you have less distractions. And because I've grown up in this environment, it takes more to excite me. So often I'll be moping around feeling bored and feeling the need to be entertained, whereas in a simpler environment, I'd be content to just sit at home, do some reading, talk on the phone, etc.

That's the biggest difference I noticed when the next day I split off from Eric and Kenric to reunite with my Ottawa friends. We met up at church and then went for PHO. It was amazing to see that Pho Bo Gai had expanded and now had 4 restaurants in total. All in the same general area which is even more amazing to me.

We then went to Dow's Lake for some skating, although I didn't have skates so I just ran around on the ice. It was really cold. I mean really cold. Maybe not as cold as Edmonton, but for a Torontonian.. yikes. I had a Beavertail and it was delicious.

Afterwards we went to Andrew and Lisa's home near Kanata/Bell's Corner.

They have a really nice place. It's extremely nice, almost too nice. It felt like a model home. Everything was perfectly placed and neat and tidy, with posters and knick-knacks everywhere, proudly displaying their marriage photo's, along with a lot of Jesus/God stuff. You'd have to see it to understand. Oh yea, and candles. Candles everywhere, and the place smelled great.

We spent most of the time there just sitting around talking and it was great. I had a chance to share about things I've been working on, learning, and practicing. We talked about our families, church life, etc. Afterwards we had shawarma's for dinner, and then watched parts of the NBA Skills Competition (Iguodala got robbed btw).

All in all, it was a fun trip. I caught some guilt trips with some people who thought that 6 years between visits was kinda bad. I don't disagree.. I should have visited more often.

Specialize

My initial instinct right now is to specialize in cooking main course meals. No salads, no desserts. Although desserts really intrigue me, it's just that since I cook for myself, if I learn to cook desserts, I'll just get really, REALLY FAT.

My focus right now is to cook things with beef in it. Because I LOVE beef.

Btw, I just wanted to point out that, based on my experience last night -- don't cook broccoli with wine. It just doesn't work. Broccoli doesn't taste good with wine, and also when it has a pink tint, it doesn't really look too appetizing either.

--

Welp, I'm off to Ottawa tomorrow morning. To visit friends mostly, and to experience extreme cold temperature. I can't wait. This winter has been really wimpy and now I'll get it all in one weekend. It's expected to go down to -20, which is fantastic, I'm really looking forward to it.

It's weird, I think I really like extreme temperatures. Extremely hot, or extremely cold. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself and pathetically attempting to psyche myself up.

I'm really looking forward to seeing old faces.

--

Oh, today marks the first day in a week that I didn't drink. I guess that's a good thing..

Broccoli

After some ponderings, and someone asking me about it, I've decided to come clean in case some people were thinking it. No, the picture of the Osso Buco was not a picture of what I had. That was taken from the web.

I haven't given a whole lot of thought in terms of presentation of food. I'm still focusing on the "not poisoning myself" aspect of cooking. I was thinking the other day -- if I poisoned myself, and I died in my condo, how long would it be before someone noticed I was missing? I wonder how long it would take for my body to rot to the point that the neighbors would smell it. Chalk that one down for another sucky thing about being single. Hmm.. I think I have blogged about this before..

Back to the kitchen...

I like to buy crowns of broccoli, because I don't know what to do with the stems. I often find myself throwing away the stems, which seems like such a waste, so why buy them? Besides, I prefer the flowers. What I've read is that you take the stems and cut them length-wise. Shorten them if you wish. Look for green as possible. Don't buy the yellow/faded flowers, and look out for stems that feel soggy or soft. Those are bad.

That was probably all common sense for the average person, and you're probably thinking "Gosh, Brian didn't even know that part?!". Yea, I didn't.

What I've read, unless you're making a cream of broccoli, chicken broth is the way to go in terms of flavoring it. When you boil broccoli, it becomes soft and soggy. You want to avoid that as much as possible because.. well, who wants to eat soggy vegetables? I notice that when you boil them, the green color becomes more vibrant. One other way to see is if the stem starts to turn a bit translucent.

The last time I did this, I boiled them til I noticed the color changing, and pulled them out quicky and then stir-fried them. But I didn't know about the chicken stock part yet. All I did was melt Edam cheese on top, which was also good.

I guess that's nothing special. But before all I do is either boil them or fry them, neither of them really made them that much better than just eating them raw.

So tonight I'm going to use the chicken stock, and the "colorizing" method, and then stir-fry it with the garlic... and maybe some wine :D

Loblaws is selling steaks. Strip loin grilling steaks. These things usually go for $22/kg but for some reason they have them at $13/kg. This is like bringing a kid to a candy store and telling him everything his half price. I bought 15 steaks.

So tonight will be steak #1, with broccoli.

Osso Buco

I haven't had anything to blog about recently. One thing I noticed yesterday afternoon, one really bad thing about being single -- I have to take several trips to the car to get all the groceries out. If I had a girlfriend or wife, she would be able to help me lug all that stuff up. (although I suppose that, as as gentleman, I would have to carry all that stuff myself anyway).

My brother helps me with that usually, but he wasn't home this weekend.

Last night I had some Osso Buco. It was store bought, pre-cooked. I cut it out of its plastic bag and was about to just cook it up and eat it. But then I realized that's what the old Brian would, not the new one.

(It's the one at the bottom)

So instead, I looked into my fridge for what else I could do, to improve it. I had a box of mushrooms but that's all. How sad.. so I grabbed my keys and wallet and went downstairs to the Loblaws and bought 3 cooking onions. Onions are surprisingly cheap considering how yummy they can be. 34 cents, what a deal!

I cut the onions, length-wise so that they would come out as thin slices. I heated a pan with oil, and threw the onions in. As I stirred that I sliced up the mushrooms, from top to bottom as usual. On Saturday I was at Chapters (bookstore) and was reading up on how to cook mushrooms and broccoli, two of my favorite vegetables. I scanned them quickly to get a good general feel of the best ways to prepare 'shrooms and broccoli.

As soon as the onions started browning, in went the mushrooms, with some salt. And then as the mushrooms began to soften, I poured about half a cup of red wine, stirred that around. I really like cooking with wine. Actually, I just like wine in general. I had about 1/3 of a bottle on Friday night while watching a movie. Yes, by myself.

Once everything appeared "cooked", I prepared half a couple of beef stock with some corn starch to thicken it up a bit, then poured that in and let the whole thing simmer and flavor up. It was smelling pretty good at this point. I poured that whole mixture into a bowl to let it cool down a bit.

At this point I put the Osso into the pan and cooked it for the 8-10 minutes that was required to heat it up (according to the directions). At the 8 minute mark, I took out the Osso and put it aside, then poured my mushroom/onion mixture into the pan to cook it with the sauce that the Osso Buco had come with. This made it smell totally awesome. The sauce was made with tomatoes and herbs.

I mixed that all up and then poured that back on top of the cooked meat, heated up some rice and served it. To myself. I guess that's another crappy thing about being single. It's enough for two dinners though and I suspect it'll taste even better tonight.

One of these days I'll cook something that tastes absolutely awful and then I'll be stuck eating it all up for a whole week. I'm totally not looking forward to that..

Super Bowl Madness

Last night I had a few friends over to watch the Super Bowl. I'm a big NFL fan and I love watching football. I predicted Pittsburgh to win, I thought they were a better team and also from their history they deserved it. But nothing could have prepared me for what actually transpired. It was sheer madness.

Pittsburgh indeed won the game, but I couldn't be more wrong about which team was better. Seattle was hands down the better team, and if despite lots of errors they made, they would have won the game if not for some really bad calls made by the officials. Don't get me wrong, Seattle made some big mistakes. They missed two field goals, threw a very bad interception late in the game, and their receivers dropped way too many passes. But that's not really what decided the game. Those mistakes prevent the game from being a blowout -- I truly believe this game was called wrong, as if they had been bribed and the game was rigged.

The first obviously rigged call was Ben Roethlisberger's rushing touchdown that never happened. Ben called his own number and rushed towards the goalline. The ref called it a touchdown just as he got stopped prior to crossing the line. How can you call a touchdown if the ball doesn't pass the line? You simply cannot. This is a very important NFL rule, if you don't uphold one of the cardinal rules of the game, how can you even continue playing? Is it right to re-define a touchdown during the Super Bowl? I mean I can understand if the teams meet in the offseason and decide to CHANGE THE RULES OF THE GAME, but doing it in a crucial moment where the Lombardi trophy is on the line. That's sheer madness.

"Touchdown: When any part of the ball, legally in possession of a player inbounds, breaks the plane of the opponent’s goal line, provided it is not a touchback."

Even in the replays, you watch, and CANNOT SEE THE BALL CROSS THE LINE. Perhaps the official guessed that it crossed the line, but to say that you actually saw it -- you would have to have x-ray vision, to be able to see THROUGH Roethlisberger's arm. Madness.

The second rigged call was a non-existent pass interference call against the receiving team (Seattle). Darrell Jackson caught a touchdown pass and he was called for pass interference. Again, the refs decided to change the rules of the game.

"Actions that do not constitute pass interference include but are not limited to:

(a) Incidental contact by a defender’s hands, arms, or body when both players are competing for the ball, or neither player is looking for the ball. If there is any question whether contact is incidental, the ruling shall be no interference."

Darrell Jackson made incidental contact with the defender while they were both competing for the ball. This a NO INTERFERENCE call, not an offense pass interference. The refs called back the touchdown and instead of 7 points, Seattle ended up with 3.

One call, which we all noticed, was an offside that turned into a holding call, again against the Seahawks. Pittsburgh was clearly offside, but the refs let the play continue and then added insult to injury by calling a penalty against Seattle. That stalled another potential touchdown drive.

The first 2 bad calls would have given Seattle +14 points. The offside one could have given them another 7. The final score was 21-10, when it really should have been 31-14.

Now if you want to add the mistakes Seattle made, a bad run by Darrell Jackson by not watching his feet while crossing into the endzone (stepped out of bounds), two missed field goals - that's an additional 13 points. Let's just forget about all of Jeremey Stevens' dropped passes. As I said, if not for the bribed officials AND Seattle mistakes, it would have been a blowout. Seattle would have won handily, 44-14.

Hopefully next year they stick to the actual rules.

Madness. Sheer madness.

Munich

I went into this movie with high expectations. After all, it had been nominated for

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Best Achievement in Editing

Best Achievement in Directing

Best Writing, Screenplay

Best Achievement in Music, Original Score

I came out pretty disappointed. I cannot see how this movie has any chance of winning best picture. The movie must be VERY VERY good to win it if you have no quality acting in it whatsoever, and therefore this movie simply has no chance.

Eric Bana (Hulk, Troy, Black Hawk Down) showed why he is better suited for action movies. He played the main character in the movie, a guy named Avner, who was hired to lead a team to kill each of the Arabs who orchestrated the Olympic tragedy in Munich, where several Israeli athletes were first taken as hostages, and eventually massacred. Bana has no ability to show emotion effectively. You'd think, that a Jewish man, going out to avenge the senseless deaths of his own people, would at least show some kind of determination, anger -- just something, to get us (non-Jews) the sense of pride these people have, the injustice they felt during this abomination killing. Instead, I felt as much as for him as I felt for Jason Bourne in the Bourne Supremacy. At least he seemed to know what he was doing. The only difference was Jason knew what he was doing.

As for direction, I can't disagree more to Steven Spielberg's nomination. I can see what Spielberg was trying to convey, but he just didn't quite make it. I liked that the movie portrayed the Jews as guilty as their Arab counterparts. The movie admitted that they were just as wrong as the Arabs, and that both sides should share the blame for this war that they have been fighting since the days of Abraham and Sarah. So that part I did like in the movie. But aside from that, the movie was very convoluted. He would jump from scenes of the hostage killings, back to Avner's quest. There were many parts where people would be speaking in another language but there were no subtitles. I didn't understand the purpose to the Dutch woman's character. Why did she have to be so promiscuous? Why not just have an old lady carry out the killing? Why did she have to be naked when they killed her with pee-shooters? There were just too many parts in the movie that had be scratching my head thinking, "What's the point of this scene? What's he (Spielberg) trying to tell us here? Why isn't the movie over yet?"

What is the deal with Steven Spielberg's not knowing when and how to end a movie?

Overall I thought movie related some important issues. And that's the point, isn't it, of all the nominated films this year -- they all have issues that they want to deal with. Whether it is racism, homosexuality, religious wars, communism and censorship, and.. (I don't actually know what Capote is about yet). Spielberg got his message across, but in my opinion, in an awkward and confusing story with little or no acting.

Overall Rating: 71%