Priority swing

It's been awhile since I missed an entire month of posting on my blog. It seems like a lot of things have become a lower priority for me since getting married.

As a single guy I immediately noticed how guys would change once they got into a serious relationship, and then even moreso when they got married. Things they once appeared to hold dear to them fell away from them. Priorities change and I understood that, but what I couldn't understand is how they so quickly lost interest in things that I thought they were interested in.

I always thought that when I got married, things would be different. That could never happened to me.. I am set in my ways and I'm stubborn. It's a scary thought from a single guys' point of view, seeing someone change. But once you're in those shoes you realize there's nothing scary about it.

For those of you who haven't tried it yet, married life is fantastic. Nothing compares to it -- it's just the greatest thing in the world. I'm often puzzled when married people ask me, "So, how's married life?", as if they didn't already know how awesome it is.

One thing I noticed immediately pretty much since Ina and I started dating was my lack of interest in music. If you've been following this blog for along time, you'll know I used to buy a lot of music CDs, and I'd even review them here. I don't think I've bought a CD in since we got married. I just stopped caring and realized I had better uses for my money, and better things to do. All of a sudden, radio is good enough for me.

Another thing I've noticed is my interest in movies has drastically diminished. I go less overboard about movies, I'm no longer excited about a movie coming out, or go out of my way to watch one. I no longer feel the need to be the first guy to see a movie when it comes out. To me it's become just another form of entertainment. I can be entertained at home just as well as in a theatre and at home I can go pee when I need to, and leave my cellphone on.

I've also lost interest in what is happening in Hollywood. I used to know all the ins and outs, who was cheating, the feuds and the embarassing photos online. I used to know who deserved an Oscar, not because they were nominated for one but because I'd seen every worthwhile film that year and could make a fair assessment. What I've come to realize is that it was pointless to fill up my head with all that useless nonsense.

I've also seemed to lose interest in the Toronto Raptors. Usually I would be super excited for the season to start, especially at this time of year. This year -- I feel nothing. I know it's coming, and I just picked up my Raptor tickets. But for some reason I feel nothing. I'm not excited or anxious for the season to start. I tried reading up on the team to whet my appetite, but I get nothing. I just don't care that much any more.

Once you're married, all those "fun" things you did as single person no longer seem fun. Everything you used to do appears boring and mundane. I've found that you truly begin to realize what's important in life and your priorities change for the better.

My popo

About a year ago Ina and I went down to San Francisco, but before that we stopped in Hayward to visit my grandparents, who were being looked after by my aunt. At the time my parents thought it'd be a great chance for us to see them because they were likely too old to travel up to Toronto to attend our wedding the following May.

My Popo and I have had some epic battles back in the day. She would come up to Toronto to visit during the summers from Taiwan and look after me during my summer holidays, and stay until it got cold. We had a lot of fights because Popo was super stubborn and refused to ever let me win at anything, and I hated that because I hate losing. She never let me win, and on top of that often would gloat after beating me, relishing in my defeats. I remember vividly once we were playing Chinese Chess, and once again she creamed me and so I picked up a playing piece and threw it at her in frustration. She threw one back at me and the next thing I knew were we throwing them at eachother. Come to think of it, those things were pretty heavy, I'm surprised we didn't break anything. She got me on the shoulder and I started to cry. She just laughed.

Popo was also way too smart for her own good. I had heard that various pastors and ministers had come to try to share the gospel with her and she refused to believe. She was too clever, Christianity was too "easy" for her, it was silly to her. Even when my mom shared her personal testimony and invited her to church to hear it, she came but she was too stubborn to acknowledge whether or not she was touched by my mom's story.

My Popo never really worked, she painted beautiful paintings using the Chinese watercolor method. I remember back in our old house in Unionville, my dad picked up an old drafting table and set it up in the dinning room, and Popo set up her painting scrolls and paints and brushes and would sit there and practice. She taught me to how to paint too, how to hold the brush (mao bi) properly and how to write. She had these special practice papers which you could paint on over and over with water and the water would just evaporate quickly. She taught me how to paint the flowers, leaves and branches. Our house was filled with many of her painting scrolls. I used to spend about 30 minutes after getting home from school, and practice my writing skills and painting skills while I ate those pineapple filled biscuits (fong li su).

When I was little I loved to eat (and still do) these little banana cakes, (shiang giao gao), and my Popo figured out how to make it. I mean this was before the internet when you could just look it up and find a recipe. She made it by tasting it and feeling its texture. She'd never made it before and she just figured it out, somehow.

When I was 11, my mom, my brother and I went to Taiwan and stayed there for 6 weeks. This was during the school year so I missed all that time from school, though I took lots of homework and textbooks to keep up. I remember going shopping with my grandma, just the two of us. We'd go into the grocery store and they had this conveyor belt just for your shopping cart to take it upstairs because there was no other way to take it up there. I guess it was to save space. Then when you bought stuff you stick it back on there and it brings it back down for you. She used to buy me all kinds of yummy goodies and little toys with wound up rubber bands as engines. At the apartment she always made me this pork that I loved.. I still remember it. It had just enough meat and fat on it.. I think we ate it almost every other day. It was so good.

I have so many fond memories of Popo.

Anyway, while we were visiting in Hayward, my aunt told me that Popo hadn't really spoken in some time. She did most of her communication by pointing to things. But while I was there I got to talking to her and she spoke to me. It was a touching moment for me, one that I will remember for the rest of my life. I introduced her to my future wife, and we talked a bit about the old times, memories and silly things I used to do to make her laugh. I found out that she had accepted Christ, which was really great news.

Popo passed away on August 21, 2008. She will be missed.

9 days remain

Barf alert!

On Tuesday, Ina and I went to our last "marriage counselling" class. Technically it was really just to go iron out the final details of the marriage procession. Anyway, on the way there we had dinner at Ajisen, one of Ina's favorite Ramen places. After which we were both craving dessert so we walked over to T&T and bought some popsicles.

Then we walked back to our cars (we came seperately) while eating these totally awesome 50 cent lichee popsicles. As we drove to the church, I followed her of course otherwise I'd get lost. At every red light Ina would blow kisses at me through her rear-view mirror, and show me how much popsicle she had left. And then I'd blow her a kiss and she'd act like she was catching them. It was totally awesome.

It was at this time that it dawned on me, one of the many purposes God had for me, this was one of them. To be a loving husband. It was just at one of these red lights that I realized how much I love Ina and how great our lives are going to be together as a married couple. It's like I was born for this.

Hey, it's not like I didn't warn you about the barfing..

19 days remain

As our wedding day approaches, one of the things I've really gotten tired is the questions people ask us. It's the same questions over and over again. As the wedding nears, they come more and more frequent. Another I noticed was that work has really eased up.. I guess they know it's a stressful time. Anyway, here the list of questions we keep getting:

"How's the wedding planning coming along?"
"When is it again?"
"Wow, only __ more weeks. Are you excited?"
"Are you ready?"
"Where will you be living?"
"Your parents must be really excited?"
"Who am I sitting with?"

Rinse and repeat, these questions are coming at a rapid pace and I'm totally sick of it. It's almost like you know the question is coming when you run into pretty much anyone. And, after talking to some friends in other stages of life, the sad reality is that after the wedding, there will probably be a whole different set of questions..

Blog killer

Can a blog be killed? I think so.

How can you kill a blog? Take the blogger, give him someone better to talk to than a computer. Give him a friendship that lasts forever, someone to hold hands with, someone to love and who loves him back. Someone else to shares his deepest secrets with, his burdens and also his joys. When you can do this to the blogger, the blog dies.

This blog is nearing its end.

Life

When my parents moved away, my mom left some of her plants at the condo for me to look after while they were gone. There were at least half a dozen, including a couple of trees. At this time there are maybe 2 left of those group.

I'm pretty bad in terms of remembering to water them, and as a result most of them have died.

At work, we had a couple of potted plants, and when this guy Gary moved offices, he left his two plants in my care. I did my best to keep them alive. One of things I found that helped was that since I often get up to stretch my legs and clear my head, I walk over to the plants to give them some water.

Well that was about 2 years ago and one of them died. But two months ago, I was eating some clementines and found one particular clementine full of seeds. Anyway, I took about 8-9 seeds and planted them into the pot where the plant had died. I watered it every day, whenever I got up for a stretch. Sometimes I watered it 2-3 times in one day, just a little sprinkle.

Then two weeks ago, a couple of sprouts came out. It was awesome. I called over one of my colleagues who had seen me planting them months ago. We were both thrilled. Every couple days we've seen a new sprout -- there are 8 total now. The first couple are really doing well, almost 2 inches tall with a couple of leaves each.

This is the most exciting thing I have to look forward to every day when I go to work.

Bogged down

On Saturday at 6:30am, I was sitting there in a circle with the rest of the Ishskwaday committee members, and we were sharing about each of our spiritual walks, how we felt Ishskwaday fits into the grand scheme of things, and what it means to us.

It was to me kind of a rude awakening of sorts. We've been going pretty much full on over the past 3 months, meeting every other week and taking care of business as business needs to be taken care of. Promotional kits had gone out to various churches who were interested in promoting the conference, marketing was being done. The website was ready, the video finished. Some of the speakers had been contacted and contracts were being drawn up.

But then we all kind of realized that although we were going full on.. was God with us? So for this week, we all kind of reflected on this and didn't do any administration stuff at all.

What was revealed to me after a bit of reflection, is that I'm totally bogged down by the busyness of life. Spiritually, I am near my wits end, the bottom of the barrel. I think the biggest thing for me has just been that I haven't given God the time of day. I'm stretched thin in different areas serving God, but not experiencing God. I've got this mindset of wanting to help people, but deep down I should be helping myself.

You know it's like you believe in something so strongly, but after awhile you lose sight of it. It's still there, still a goal you strive for, but the meaning behind it is lost.