November 28, 2004


There's gotta be some changes around here.. I'm kinda sick of the way the site looks. Even though I have zero stylish creativity, I feel that I must spend some time working on this.

Also, for some reason I have this crazy idea in my head that no one is reading. But I do see that people are coming here searching for chords or Chris Tomlin. I can't post chords here for obvious reasons, but I can point the way to them. I'll look to add the useful links on the sidebar to help people with that.

Perhaps my blog site can become a hub for useful Christian chords sites. I dunno..

i can only imagine

When I saw the church bulletin with I Can Only Imagine as one of the songs were going to sing, and saw who the worship leader was, I actually shuddered. As you know I cannot stand it when a song is sung improperly. But it was actually really good. Although I don't consider it an appropriate worship song for Sunday service, still it was nice to sing it.

real friends

A friend of mine posed an interesting question about friends, I'm not sure if I can word it properly but here goes. Basically, the question is to what length would a person go out of there way just to speak to you or visit you. And if a person wouldn't go to any lengths, then how close of a friend are they?

At first I thought they were talking about me, like one of those trap questions where they make you think about it and then you realize you have done something horrible.

But then I thought about how many people I would go out of my way to see, and to what lengths would I go. I had a friend visit from Vancouver once, I tried to go see him but I didn't a get a chance to and he left. Some friend I am to him, huh?

Cripes.. I just realized the magnitude of that. It's like that common line: "If you're ever in town, give me a call..."

I guess it struck me because at that point I realized that I don't have many very close friends at this stage in my life. It's kinda sad. :(

November 22, 2004

It's been awhile since I actually blogged what I did. So.. here goes..


Sunday morning I woke up rather abruptly from my alarm. Yeah that's right.. no more waking up automatically at 7:30 anymore. I was able to defeat this habit by sleeping really really late every night..

Picked up Elsa and went to church. Some people asked me about whether I was still a morning greeter. I asked to be part of this ministry about a year ago and never really committed to it. They're starting something new -- greeters rotate as ushers too. I think it's a great idea, you get to know the people and begin to recognize faces. Anyway, yes I know -- but I still have to think about it.

After service I bumped into Mel. I hadn't really spoken to her in close to a year so we kinda caught up and I invited her to small group.

[aside] the small group has gone well so far. but it's getting really big. bless the Lord for granting us the numbers and consistent attendance, but Lord -- help us now with ways to handle this large group. we have nearly 35 people split between 2 groups and i have a feeling there are more people who need to be reached..[/aside]

Raptors vs. Spurs

After service, Kenric, Kevin, Eric and I headed over to the Air Canada Centre to watch the Raptors game. I drove Kenric and Jacqueline back to my place so we could take the subway down.

[aside]J is starting to remind me more and more of her mom, not personality but just "the look". i dunno what is, but when i saw her from behind i thought it was her mom. weird. i guess as we age we all start looking more and more like our parents..[/aside]

The subway was packed on the way down because of the Santa Claus Parade. We joked about how funny it would be if one of us announced to the hundreds of children that Santa wasn't real.. would've been pretty ugly I bet

The game was pretty bad for the first 3 quarters. We were getting mashed by the Spurs, they were killing us.. on the boards, the backcourt, on defense. They were out-hustling us. They were even out-fast-breaking us, and that my friends, is sad considering they are a very methodical, slow team.

In the 4th quarter, something changed. Some people had left the stadium because we were losing so badly. We were down about 19 when Matt Bonner had a key offensive rebound and we scored. Then we had a couple of 3s in a row, and all of a sudden, we were only down 12 points. It's crazy but for some reason the fans started to believe we could pull this thing off. MoPete waved his arms to get us all going, and Bosh pointed to the crowd.

Being down 12 points is NOT a sign of a team who is making a comeback, but you could just feel like something had changed, the momentum had shifted somehow and everyone in ACC could feel something was about to happen.

Every contested shot, every rebound, we got louder and louder. The place erupted after every made shot, and every defensive rebound. It was just so crazy..

When the shot was made where we took the lead, I jumped up with my arms raised, pumped my fists, and found that I was so happy that I had started to cry! Tears of joy and satisfaction, like redemption (earlier in the game the Spurs were getting some pretty questionable calls).

Anyway, suffice to say it was probably the most exciting game I have ever been to!

Vince Carter [this is not necessarily a post about sports]

Vince Carter looks like a different man on the court from what we saw earlier in his career. Heck even last year, he was a different man than what we see today.

I hate to see the fans boo him. He has poured his heart and soul into this team and because a few bad games and untimely comments he has made, the entire city has turned on him. This is an American, from Orlando, who has constantly encouraged fellow Americans to sign with our team. A guy who does a lot for the community and until this past summer, was the superstar in the history of the NBA who actually wanted to play for us.

He is also a guy who after getting married, despite rumors he already wanted to be traded, looked into how his wife could get work in Canada. Think about this guys. He could easily have been drafted by Toronto, and just played, picked up his pay cheques, and then move on to another team. He stuck his neck out when he didn't have to.

What bothers me most is that when you see him out there he looks a bit lost, as though he feels like he doesn't belong there anymore. He's lost a ton of confidence. He refuses to dunk any more. Dunking takes guts, it's not just jumping up and slamming it down. It's just about ability, it takes a lot of courage to go out there and stuff it in, because afterwards teams are out to get you, to prevent you from doing it again. Take a page out of Yao Ming's book, and how he believes dunking is disrespectful.

He looks like he's even second guessing himself. You look at players who have slumped, usually they come back, but some don't. And it's a lot of pressure. Carlos Delgado went through a pretty bad hitting slump and he didn't catch 0.001% of the flack that Vince has gotten.

It's tough. I'm not saying don't trade him, but think for a second, at least, what it is like to be in his shoes. Don't give me "but he's making millions of dollars" -- no amount of money would convince any of us to stay at a job where you are constantly second-guessed, verbally abused, insulted and ridiculed.

Give the guy a break.


After the game we all went home, and in the evening we jammed. We had a new face -- bigjon made his debut @ PB&J. Drew, Duncan, Nancy and Eric came. Elsa came by a little later on.

I find that I'm very critical when it comes to music. If something doesn't sound right I'm totally thrown off by it. I know there are people just like me out there. We're freaks. I have trouble worshipping when it doesn't sound right. I've been doing a lot of praying on this to get me to focus on what's the point of worship is rather than the quality of its sound.

But music itself I find can be very uplifting. I can have a huge mood swing from one song to another.

I really, really, really enjoy Chris Tomlin's cd Arriving.

November 19, 2004

ideal lineup

I've been saying "trade Vince" for nearly two years and finally people are agreeing with me. It all started when my housemate foolishly suggested that Vince was better than Kobe Bryant. Imagine that -- at some point people actually thought Vince was even in the same league as Kobe Bryant!

Then I suggested Steve Francis was better than Vince, still no one believed me.

Then I thought Ray Allen was better than Vince, once again, no one believed me.

A man once said "Vince Carter: Half man, half amazing". Then another man changed that to "Vince Carter: Half man, half season". Today I say "Vince Carter: Half-ass".

Look at how far Vince has fallen, down to the point where he is equated to the lowly Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Shareef will produce as well as Vince, in fact a lot better numbers, but Shareef is a life-time choker. He is the last player you want shooting the ball when you need to score.

But the beauty of these trade talks and the reason I hope they come true, it because Shareef's contract ends this season, along with the fact that we rid ourselves of Jalen Rose's massive overpaid contract. It means we clear cap space and in the offseason we start building around the real star of our team, Rafael Araujo.

Okay so I'm kidding, of course I mean Mr. Chris Bosh.

This is how I would like to see the Raptors spend their money for next year:

C: Zydrunas Ilgauskas
PF: Chris Bosh
SF: Morris Peterson
SG: Michael Redd
PG: Rafer Alston

Signing Ilgauskas will be the biggest key to next season. Toronto has a huge serbian population that will get Ilgauskas enough reason to want to come here. I would venture to say that Toronto's Serb community is the largest outside of the Serbian countries, similar to our Chinese community. A starting frontcourt of Ilgauskas and Bosh will promise ourselves a playoff team for the next decade.

Michael Redd is an underrated player. He is basically a poor man's Ray Allen, only younger. He, like Ray Allen, does it all but doesn't have back problems. In fact, he was the reason Milwaukee was willing to trade Allen away to Seattle in the first place.

There are many possibilities at the shooting guard that we can take. All we need is a player who is capable of scoring 25 points, only need him to give us 15. The potential for 25 is all we need, in case Ilgauskas or Bosh have a bad game here and there.

Yes kids, this is a dream lineup for us, but I think we can do it with the right incentive and motivation.

November 13, 2004

promise keepers

So I thought going to the men's conference that it would a men's revival thing. After all, it's called "Uprising". But turns out it was just a big fathers/husbands conference, teaching men how to be good to their wives, be good fathers, and how to have good relationships with their fellow man.

The latter was useful information but nothing really new. Suffice to say I was little disappointed by the conference.

The worship time was good, lead by Robin Mark -- he's like Irish or something, had a really cool accent.


Sometimes I wonder whether people think about me the way I think about them. I have this serious problem focusing on things and my mind tends to wander about aimlessly, going from topic to topic, person to person. I just wonder if other people are like that too or am I just weird.

Does this mean that I'm a thoughtful and considerate person, or does it mean I have ADD?

Like sometimes I'll be thinking something, and it'll go from one thing to another, and the next thing I know I'm chuckling to myself at something that person did or said, for no reason. Seriously, I have gotten some weird looks on the subway when I realized I was staring right at them with this goofy smirk on my face.

November 10, 2004

been awhile

I haven't been in the blogging mood at all lately. Not much to say. I have starting playing the World of Warcraft open beta (now closed). It was a 2.4 gb download and a 45 minute install. But finally, when I got it up and running..

The graphics are stunning. How they are able to produce graphics like those for people who crappy video cards is just amazing. The gameplay is fun, very cartoon-like. Right now I have a level 6 dwarf hunter. He uses a rifle.

However, the game crashes often. I have not gone more than an hour without it crashing. In some ways it's good, because it give me a few seconds to relax my eyes and eat or go to the bathroom. But if it keeps up like this in retail, there is just no way I would play it. It hasn't affected my gameplay because I am playing alone and just hunting. But say I was in a quest and that happened; I'd have to start over again. That would truly suck.

far cry

No, this is not about the game. Yesterday I went to Small Group Leadership training at G&M's house. We learned about the strength and weaknesses of good leaders and about the proper framework of a good small group. It was good and all but I think knowing what a good leader is and what he/she is supposed to do is a far cry from becoming that person.

After I take this course I will KNOW what I need to do, but doing it is a whole other step for me. The whole idea of being a leader is still daunting leap for me. One of the don'ts was for leaders not to feel inadequate, I kinda gulped on that one. That's exactly how I feel sometimes.. inadequate.

Anyway, I found the training to be a very humbling experience.

track 10

I can't remember the name of the song but on the drive home from training yesterday, I heard the words of the song and felt very motivated, very filled with the Spirit and thought of a good bunch of ideas we could do for small group this week. I felt very uplifted from it, like the feeling of God lifting me up, which in turn lifted me up,

The song is called "King of Glory" (I'll post the lyrics some other time, when I post the song), and was inspired straight from Psalm 24:

1 The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it upon the seas
and established it upon the waters.

3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.
5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob.

7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty-
he is the King of glory.

November 04, 2004

half a life

It's not as if my life completely revolves around video games, but certainly there have been at least a couple of games that have "peaked" my interest. To say that Half-Life 2, the follow-up of one of the greatest games ever made (Half-Life), is probably the most anticipated video game in the history of mankind, is probably the biggest understatement in the history of understatements.

This is a game that people have awaited since the day Valve announced they would be making a sequel to 1998 Game of the Year, which was pretty much the day after its original release. Not only was it a great game to play, but even from a developer's standpoint, the game, the engine, the graphics -- it was a true masterpiece. In 1999 in was named 'Best PC Game Ever', and some would argue that to this day, no game has surpassed it.

HL spawned an international multiplayer bonanza called "Counter-strike", which many gamers still play to this day despite it being a 5 years old with mediocre graphics (compared to today's standards).

So having said all that, HL2 comes out in 12 days -- November 16, 2004.

universe of blizzard

What can I say about Blizzard, other than that Blizzard Entertainment makes addictive games. When you think of Blizzard, you think of Warcraft 1, 2 & 3, Starcraft, Diablo 1 & 2. I don't think there is a single gamer out there who has logged less than at least 100 hours playing a Blizzard game.

I would admit to approximately 4000 hours spent on Blizzard games. Wow. And WoW indeed. WoW (World of Warcraft) is coming out on November 23, 2004. This game gives me the shivers.. why? Because I fear that this game will push me over the 10,000 hour mark for time spent on a Blizzard game. It certainly has that potential.

WoW is not as highly anticipated as HL2, because it is a Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game, and the MMORPG community does not include all gamers. MMORPG's require more time -- and money, whereas HL2 is just a shooter with fantastic graphics and a mesmerizing story to boot. But it's gotta be the most highly anticipated mmorpg ever.

Umm.. I grow tired of talking about this stuff.

the others

But there's one last game to cover before I go, and that is Halo 2. From my point-of-view, Halo is/was a good game, but not a great game. But from a console gamer's standpoint, it is probably one of the greatest first person shooters of all time, right up there with Bond from Nintendo's N64.

Halo 2 arrives on November 9, 2004.

sports prediction

Charlotte Bobcats make the playoffs this year, or come real close. You heard it here first.

November 03, 2004

burning bush

My brother's msn name was "Once again, God speaks through a bush". Fittingly, after George W. Bush was re-elected as the president of the United States.

Once again, this was just another one of those "who cares" things for me. I know -- the US presidency will affect the way we live here in Canada. They control the world's economy and pretty much everything else. Yes, the world looks upon the US as a model of a God-fearing nation.

But once again I must say, I didn't really care *that* much. Bush won, I'm happy. But I can't quite even tell you why I'm happy except that I am. Let's leave it at that. Me and one other guy in the entire office was cheering for Bush, as we got the last laugh. HA.


The Raptors seemed to pretty much dominate the Houston Rockets last night. I think in all honesty the only reason the game was so close was because the refs made a series of brutal calls during the last 2 minutes of the 3rd quarter. If not for those (did I mention awful?) calls, we would have won by 10+.


My cut-capo arrived in the mail at last. But I was kinda hoping that there'd be some sort of a songbook included in the package. Now I have to order a songbook and that will take another 2 weeks. Anyway, I tried it out just playing in E and it sounded pretty good. It simplifies a lot of the fingers if the song has a normal chord progression. Perhaps what I need is to create a master chord chart for it, or find someone who has already done this..