March 31, 2005


I read somewhere that March feels like the longest month of the year. January feels alright because you're fresh off a Christmas break, and February is a shortened month. And thus March is a month that seemingly lasts forever.

Earlier this month I was in a rut. It's not that I don't feel that way anymore -- I still do -- but not as strongly. I was feeling bored at work, at church, just bored with life in general. I felt like I needed to make a change. I felt like my life was too comfortable.

At first, I thought of very drastic things, like quitting my job. Moving into the wilderness and living in a hut. Giving away everything I owned and travelling to a poor country and living there for the rest of my life. I thought about going back to school, and even took some time looking over what courses I might take. I thought about moving, and where I could move.

I just wanted to get away.

I held off on posting any of this because I figured that over time these feelings would pass over and I would be back to normal. But I was wrong, the feelings remained over a 3 week span. I prayed about it daily. I talked about it with close friends, and with my parents.

Final verdict: I need a vacation.

My plan is to go on a vacation but not just any vacation. I plan to go for an entire month. And I don't want to be lying on some beach getting a sun tan, or doing water sports. I don't want to be sipping a cocktail or wining and dining in some classy restaurant. I don't want to sleep in a nice hotel or a cozy bed.

So that pretty much eliminates 90% of vacation spots.

There's a lot of specific things I want to see -- I'd like to go to visit the following people's churches: Chris Tomlin, Tim Hughes, Matt Redman, Erwin McManus, David Crowder, Jason Morant, MercyMe, Hillsongs.

But most of those places I'll be able to see 20 years from now. I'd rather go see something that I can only see right *now*, as a 26 year old, single person, with no major responsibilities, no dependants, and no debt. And I don't want to see "modern" places, I think that would be a waste of my time.

I've basically narrowed down my list of countries to visit to: Africa, India, China. Africa, because there's so many different cultures I can see. The idea of safari's, seeing the pyramids, those types of things are exciting to me. India, because it is one of the few places that I would ever consider doing any kind of missionary work. And China -- well, because it's home.

My friend and I have talked on a few occasions about going to China. We'd go to the north western regions, and the purpose would be to experience their way of life and the culture. We would try go find a relief organization or underground church that has set up shop there and find a means to voluntarily join the cause. Such an endeavour would require a few things fall in our favor. My friend would need to have another job lined up for when we returned, because he'd have to quit his current job in order to go. For me, either I'd still be working for the City and would be using my 29 days of vacation, or I'd be unemployed as well. I'd still go either way.

As for Africa, since my french is limited, there's just no way I could do a backpacking type of thing unless I had a friend or two with me. I was joking with a friend that I should try to catch malaria, so that I could get the "full" Africa experience. That's probably not a very good thing to joke about.

I've checked out a few tours of Africa (main focus being the pyramids) and they all cost quite a bit. I've concluded that I need a travel buddy or two to come with me if I go to Africa.

I have not even started looking at India yet.


I am going camping between August 14-20 this year, which is great because I won't be here for my birthday. I've never been camping for more than 3 nights, so 6 will be interesting. I think it'll be in either Utah or Arizona.

March 23, 2005


Rick lived a simple life until the day came when he was called upon. He had a strict schedule, waking up at 7:30 in the morning, showered, got dressed. He'd walk down to the subway station, take the same flight of stairs down to the platform. He liked to sit facing the back of the train, but at the front of the train, because that's the only place he knew he'd get a seat for his long ride downtown to work. Before cashing in his token, he would grab a newspaper to read on the ride.

Today was special though. There was a crowd forming on the platform, seemingly circled around something. Heads were bouncing up and down trying to see what had happened. There were gasps, some people were crying. There appeared to be someone in the middle of the circle, directing others. Rick, still eager to get a chance at a good seat on the subway, walked right past it without even noticing all the commotion. He stood at the platform in front of the GAP advertisement as always, and waited for the subway to arrive.

4 minutes passed. No train. Another 4 minutes. Still no train. The announcer came on the loud speakers: "Attention, due to the emergency situation, the local police have been called. The trains will not arrive until this matter is resolved."

Crap. Rick stood there mystified, and as he finally looked up from his paper, he noticed the crowd standing just a few feet away. Curious, he weaved his way through the onlookers to see a dirty man lying in a pool of blood, in the middle of the circle face down. Another man stooped over him, and appeared to be trying to turn the fallen man over. The man looked up and saw Rick, and asked him for help. But Rick turned away. He was wearing his favorite suit. And besides, he wasn't that strong and didn't know CPR. Finally someone else came over to help, and together they turned the man over.

There were loud gasps followed by screams amongst the crowd. Right away Rick could see what the problem was. The man had shot himself, twice, once in the stomach and once in the chest. He was still clutching a shotgun with his hands. Rick gave the man a once over. Judging by his shoes, he looked like someone living off the street. His pants were ragged, patches on his knees. Rick thought to himself, smugly, that this man is probably better off now. The jacket (now soaked in blood), was also old and rugged looking. It looked like it hadn't been washed ... ever.

Rick's gaze moved over to the poor man's face. It was all craggled up, all wrinkled and dirty. Dried up. His expression was that of a man in pain, and not just physically. The man clearly had not bathed in few months. It was hard to make out his face because it was so disfigured from scrapes, dirt, and wrinkles. But somehow, behind the pain, dirt and wrinkles, was a face of a man who appeared somewhat familiar to Rick.

As he stared into this man's face, a strange feeling crept over him. He wasn't just some random fellow, but someone he knew. All of a sudden, he cared. He bent over, pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and frantically proceeded to clean off the man's face, hoping to gain more clues about who he was. As his identity was being revealed, Rick was taken aback and fell backwards on top of the man, as he realized who it was.

It was ... find out next time, in the exciting conclusion of "Rick", coming soon to a blog near you!

March 14, 2005

tired of this (again)

Today at lunch time, for the first time ever, I thought "I'm tired of this" while having lunch with my friends. This is normally a thought I have at work -- to have this thought a few of my closest friends is just... odd.

I'm not exactly sure what this means. I just felt like, for the entire time at lunch, like I was I tired of it, like I didn't want to be there, or didn't know why I was there.

Lately I've been feeling really anti-social, just feeling like going off on my own and doing things by myself. Passing up opportunities to hang out with friends. At first I thought it was because my mom was home so I naturally felt the need to stay home with her. But she's gone now and I still feel the same way.

March 12, 2005

So there I was, driving up an onramp, in the opposite direction of the flow of traffic.

Actually, it wasn't the opposite because everyone was going the wrong way. I'd just dropped off my mom at the airport and was on my way home. On the 401 (east). Once I'd cleared the terminal and was allowed to go 100 km/h, I hit a parking lot. It was insane, it wasn't even like stop and go, we were just parked there.

*I saw people get out of their cars and walk around*

On the way to the airport, the roads had been treacherous. It had snowed for around 15 minutes of heavy heavy snow. I'm guessing there was an accident ahead. So anyway, I was on the leftmost lane, and there weren't any exits nearby. But there was, just ahead of us, an onramp of local traffic merging into the highway. I saw cars go past it, and then start backing into the onramp, and then driving *backwards* back up the ramp to local traffic. It was insane.

Well as you all know I have a very poor sense of direction. I had no idea where I was so the idea of going backwards up the ramp into local (i guess it was etobicoke) would be sheer madness. So I just sat there in my car listening to MercyMe's Almost There album. I got through about 6 tracks and we hadn't moved (I had turned my car to Park by then already).

So, I went for it.

By then most of the cars to my right and in the vicinity of the ramp had decided to take it. So now cars were just going up the ramp, not backwards but still the wrong way. They were just driving up now. I saw some big ol SUV's just hop the curb and go up. I inched my way over and finally made a big U-turn and started going up.

Then when we got the intersection, as luck would have it, a police car was up there waiting for all us illegal ramp jumpers.

So I spent the night in jail.

Okay maybe not. But that'd be cool eh? He just let us through, probably because he didn't have enough tickets for all of us. I followed some other cars for awhile, cursing at myself for not bringing my cell phone. Eventually I saw Finch and started heading East, before I knew it (nearly an hour later), I was home.

two movies

First of all, I'd like to apologize about the format of my blog template. I'm not sure what I was thinking but it's gone now and let's all just forget it ever happened.

Tonight was my mom's last night here so I decided to spend the night with her instead of going to small group. We rented a couple of movies to watch.

My cousin and I were having a debate over a movie called "The Notebook". I only know what I know from reading reviews and comments from friends. I knew that it was a movie that invoked tears from the viewer and that it was a romance chick-flick. My cousin had seen it and was raving on about how great it was. He and I have never seen eye-to-eye on movies so I certainly had my doubts about how good the movie was.

Well, to make a long story short that movie sucked. I would have to give the movie a 4/10. It copied just about every love story I can think of. *Spoilers ahead*

Let's list the story and you tell me how many movies you've seen with the following themes:

1. Summer romance.
2. Two people who don't really get along or have much in common but are in love.
3. Rich girl, poor guy, rich parents think girl throwing life away by being with guy.
4. They break up, but both long for eachother and regret the loss.
5. Guy writes girl, but someone hides the letters from the girl.
6. Girl moves on with her life, finds another man.
7. Guy vows to one day win her back.
8. A chance meeting, memories come flooding back.
9. Mother decides daughter should choose love over wealth.
10. Girl chooses the summer romance guy.

Sound familiar?

I gave it 4/10 for one reason alone (instead of 0/10), the outer shell of the movie was original. That being the old man who reads the story to the old lady with dimentia (she's the girl and he's the guy). He reads to her every day because he loves her and wants to try to jog her memory of the love they once shared.

Despite having my doubts about the quality of the movie, I thought for sure I would cry, but I only cried once, it was when the old lady finally remembered who she was and who the old man was, and remembered their love -- only to forget all of it again. That was really sad..

*No more spoilers*

So yeah, overall the movie was a big disappointment for me.

I don't have a lot to say about The Terminal, except that I'm glad I saw it second so I could erase most of the memories I had of The Notebook. (Although writing this blog has jogged my memory again, doh!) I found certain situations in The Terminal to be really funny. The difficulties he had in communicating with people, and just some of the ways in which he improvised so that he could actually live there, for the months he did.

March 09, 2005


I have a hard time believing that people have time to talk on the phone at random times. When I'm doing something and someone calls me, I try to make it short so I can get back to whatever I was doing. You can tell someone's busy when they try to conclude every sentence or that you can hear this sense of urgency in their voices.

On the other hand you could be really busy but enjoy the company of the other person. Then it's not a conversation at all. It's two people connected by a thin wire but neither is saying anything. You're still connected, but you're doing your own thing at the end of the line. You both just like the idea that if anything does come up, you'll have someone to tell right away.

Just a random thought.


I think I've lost all my geekiness. I feel dumb. :(

american idol

What gets me about American Idol is that all of the 20 finalists could easily beat out any of the previous Canadian Idol winners. Why is Canada so lacking in this department? Okay, maybe not all 20 finalists. Like that girl who sang the Barbara Streisand song. Sorry, did I say sing? I mean *butchered*.

fob stage

As you may have guessed by now, I'm going through an Asian music phase. Not to worry, these things don't last for more than a couple weeks. I remember in University I went through a FinKL stage. And a group called As One.. they were really good.

Right now I am listening to a song called ¹ú½á Àϳâ by ºê¶ó¿î¾ÆÀÌÁî. I took it off some dude's blog from Singapore. I've got absolutely no clue what this dude is singing about, nor what language he's singing in. Although once in awhile he says "I believe in you", and then it's either "I believe in your mind" or "I believe that you're mine". Haha.. This is something I find very amusing, the fascination of mixing English into their songs. It sounds so silly. No one else does it, just the Asian folks.

Yea so Asian music right now, with a mix of Mariah Carey. The trouble with listening to Mariah is that I have a tendency to want to sing along to Mariah, which is just not possible at work! "All I want for Christmas... is you!"

Speaking of which.. I really miss Mariah Carey. I hope she comes back to us someday.

March 07, 2005

mark burnett

Today I took my mom out for dinner, we went to the Shanghai place over on Silver Star. It was good food again, very yummy and we brought food home so I'll have a yummy lunch tomorrow!

It's rare for me to watch TV on a Monday night, but I did..

I watched this new show called "The Contender", another of Mark Burnett's reality television shows. He made Survivor and also Apprentice. He's also helping to produce Martha Stewart's show too.

The Contender was amazing. It started out with team competition, some brains/brawn team contest, much like Survivor or Apprentice, but it's the second half of the show that really brought out the drama and excitement. The winning team chooses one guy as the real winner, who then gets to 'call out' a fighter from the other team and challenge them to 5 rounds of boxing.

The guy who won (West coast team) picked one of the best fighters from the East Coast. It was a surprise because you usually want to take out the weaker fighters first. The East Coast guy was a really good boxer, 21-0 lifetime.

Anyway, to make a long story short the underdog guy won! There was so much drama.. his entire family was in the stands cheering him on, and the other guy's wife and daughter were looking on.

Mark Burnett has done it again... I can't believe how good this show is! I don't even like boxing!

Does the font appear all blurred? It does for me at home, but looks fine at work.

I hosted jamming last night. We had a pretty good turnout. duncan & nancy, andrew & gladys, and bigjon. We spent a good amount of time churning through the WorshipTogether book and the Chris Tomlin (Arriving) book. I can't believe it's been so long since I last played guitar. Seems like whenever my mom comes to visit I stop practicing. I guess I'm just more comfortable playing when no one is listening..

Anyway, we learned some songs here and there. I must say I really enjoy playing and singing with bigjon. He's got a great range that he can hit which makes it fun to try to match him on harmony. Also he changes things up with his strumming pattern, which is good for my learning and practicing. I think the most fun I've ever had while jamming was the times when it was just me, jon and kevin.

Further on the topic of jamming, is that I've been struggling with the concept of it. It seems (to me at least) that jamming is really more of a guitar practice time than singing praises to God. I am guilty in terms of that, in that I try harder to please myself with my guitar playing than I do trying to put my heart into the singing. I'm more focused on sounding good to everyone else and to myself, rather than focusing on Who we're singing to.

5 more days

5 more days til my mom leaves. She leaves behind her parents which I need to take care of for an additional 18 days. So far it has been fine because I have that buffer (my mom) to keep them from harrassing me. If you'll recall all my stories of grandma. I'm sure there will be more to tell once my mom is gone.


I've played this game for 3 months and I'm starting to (this doesn't mean I'll stop) get bored. I've been thinking of taking a break and giving Knights of the Old Replublic 2 a try. The first game was fantastic — great game, versatility and storyline. I've read the second is more of the same but just more story. I'm interested in giving it a try, but I will probably wait until my grandparents leave before I start.

March 04, 2005

fun template

this isn't it

This is not the template I've been working on. I found it on the web and thought it looked pretty nice, so I through it in. I like the color changing thing. Kinda cool.

vertical music

This is a site that I found purely by accident after buying the Jason Morant cd. They have some good stuff, you guys should check it out sometime.

I found a band called the Desperation Band, they have some good songs. The band is lead by 3 associate pastors: Jared Anderson, Jon Egan and Glenn Packiam. Jared Anderson's stuff is a mix between a toned down Paul Baloche. Jon Egan is just like Vineyard or toned down Hillsong.

Then there's Glenn Packiam who is more fitted to what I like, more full band rock-style. Songs like "Satisfy", "From You", "Willingly", "Everyone (Praises)", "We Lift You Up" and "For Your Name". This guy rocks..

almost called

I almost called you up yesterday but then I realized a certain television show was on and didn't want to disturb you. Let me know when's a good time to call!

March 02, 2005

yahoo's 10th

Subject: ice cream

Today was Yahoo's 10th birthday. They had this giveaway of ice cream at Baskin Robbins. We all printed out coupons at work and I was really excited about the prospect of free ice cream. I even emailed out to some friends. But then later on, I realized that in the fine print it said for US only. What a bummer.

I had this crazy build-up in craving for mint chocolate chip though. All day I was thinking about it. Mmm... mint chocolate chip..

Then later on, one of my friends at work discovered it DOES work in Canada. So that got me super excited again about the prospect of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Oh boy I thought..

But to my disappointment, there weren't any Baskin Robbins near my work.

So anyway, when I got home I went to Loblaws and went searching for mint chocolate chip. All they had was "mint chocolate swirl". Bleh.. but I bought it anyway. After dinner (I forgot to save some room for it) I had a massive bowl of it, I am so full from it. I swear if I have another bite I'll throw up.

subject: sports

Lots of predictions and projections coming up for the NCAA basketball tourney. My pick this year is the North Carolina Tarheels. I think this year they have what it takes to win the whole thing. I've accurately predicted who would win it all for the last 2 years (pretty much since I started watching it).

more prediction
subject: sports

I also said about 10 months ago that Ben Gordon would be rookie of the year in the NBA. Emeka Okafor has pretty much run away with this award. He is averaging a double-double, and though he's already hit the rookie wall, he continues to put up solid numbers. Ben Gordon has only started (about a month ago) to play like I thought he would. I don't know if he can still win the ROY anymore, but at least he's played close to my expectations.

Maybe if the writers see the impact he's made with the Bulls, and maybe if Gordon makes some more game-saving plays and become a key cog in the Bulls' return to the playoffs, he might force Okafor to share the award?