Priority swing

It's been awhile since I missed an entire month of posting on my blog. It seems like a lot of things have become a lower priority for me since getting married.

As a single guy I immediately noticed how guys would change once they got into a serious relationship, and then even moreso when they got married. Things they once appeared to hold dear to them fell away from them. Priorities change and I understood that, but what I couldn't understand is how they so quickly lost interest in things that I thought they were interested in.

I always thought that when I got married, things would be different. That could never happened to me.. I am set in my ways and I'm stubborn. It's a scary thought from a single guys' point of view, seeing someone change. But once you're in those shoes you realize there's nothing scary about it.

For those of you who haven't tried it yet, married life is fantastic. Nothing compares to it -- it's just the greatest thing in the world. I'm often puzzled when married people ask me, "So, how's married life?", as if they didn't already know how awesome it is.

One thing I noticed immediately pretty much since Ina and I started dating was my lack of interest in music. If you've been following this blog for along time, you'll know I used to buy a lot of music CDs, and I'd even review them here. I don't think I've bought a CD in since we got married. I just stopped caring and realized I had better uses for my money, and better things to do. All of a sudden, radio is good enough for me.

Another thing I've noticed is my interest in movies has drastically diminished. I go less overboard about movies, I'm no longer excited about a movie coming out, or go out of my way to watch one. I no longer feel the need to be the first guy to see a movie when it comes out. To me it's become just another form of entertainment. I can be entertained at home just as well as in a theatre and at home I can go pee when I need to, and leave my cellphone on.

I've also lost interest in what is happening in Hollywood. I used to know all the ins and outs, who was cheating, the feuds and the embarassing photos online. I used to know who deserved an Oscar, not because they were nominated for one but because I'd seen every worthwhile film that year and could make a fair assessment. What I've come to realize is that it was pointless to fill up my head with all that useless nonsense.

I've also seemed to lose interest in the Toronto Raptors. Usually I would be super excited for the season to start, especially at this time of year. This year -- I feel nothing. I know it's coming, and I just picked up my Raptor tickets. But for some reason I feel nothing. I'm not excited or anxious for the season to start. I tried reading up on the team to whet my appetite, but I get nothing. I just don't care that much any more.

Once you're married, all those "fun" things you did as single person no longer seem fun. Everything you used to do appears boring and mundane. I've found that you truly begin to realize what's important in life and your priorities change for the better.

My popo

About a year ago Ina and I went down to San Francisco, but before that we stopped in Hayward to visit my grandparents, who were being looked after by my aunt. At the time my parents thought it'd be a great chance for us to see them because they were likely too old to travel up to Toronto to attend our wedding the following May.

My Popo and I have had some epic battles back in the day. She would come up to Toronto to visit during the summers from Taiwan and look after me during my summer holidays, and stay until it got cold. We had a lot of fights because Popo was super stubborn and refused to ever let me win at anything, and I hated that because I hate losing. She never let me win, and on top of that often would gloat after beating me, relishing in my defeats. I remember vividly once we were playing Chinese Chess, and once again she creamed me and so I picked up a playing piece and threw it at her in frustration. She threw one back at me and the next thing I knew were we throwing them at eachother. Come to think of it, those things were pretty heavy, I'm surprised we didn't break anything. She got me on the shoulder and I started to cry. She just laughed.

Popo was also way too smart for her own good. I had heard that various pastors and ministers had come to try to share the gospel with her and she refused to believe. She was too clever, Christianity was too "easy" for her, it was silly to her. Even when my mom shared her personal testimony and invited her to church to hear it, she came but she was too stubborn to acknowledge whether or not she was touched by my mom's story.

My Popo never really worked, she painted beautiful paintings using the Chinese watercolor method. I remember back in our old house in Unionville, my dad picked up an old drafting table and set it up in the dinning room, and Popo set up her painting scrolls and paints and brushes and would sit there and practice. She taught me to how to paint too, how to hold the brush (mao bi) properly and how to write. She had these special practice papers which you could paint on over and over with water and the water would just evaporate quickly. She taught me how to paint the flowers, leaves and branches. Our house was filled with many of her painting scrolls. I used to spend about 30 minutes after getting home from school, and practice my writing skills and painting skills while I ate those pineapple filled biscuits (fong li su).

When I was little I loved to eat (and still do) these little banana cakes, (shiang giao gao), and my Popo figured out how to make it. I mean this was before the internet when you could just look it up and find a recipe. She made it by tasting it and feeling its texture. She'd never made it before and she just figured it out, somehow.

When I was 11, my mom, my brother and I went to Taiwan and stayed there for 6 weeks. This was during the school year so I missed all that time from school, though I took lots of homework and textbooks to keep up. I remember going shopping with my grandma, just the two of us. We'd go into the grocery store and they had this conveyor belt just for your shopping cart to take it upstairs because there was no other way to take it up there. I guess it was to save space. Then when you bought stuff you stick it back on there and it brings it back down for you. She used to buy me all kinds of yummy goodies and little toys with wound up rubber bands as engines. At the apartment she always made me this pork that I loved.. I still remember it. It had just enough meat and fat on it.. I think we ate it almost every other day. It was so good.

I have so many fond memories of Popo.

Anyway, while we were visiting in Hayward, my aunt told me that Popo hadn't really spoken in some time. She did most of her communication by pointing to things. But while I was there I got to talking to her and she spoke to me. It was a touching moment for me, one that I will remember for the rest of my life. I introduced her to my future wife, and we talked a bit about the old times, memories and silly things I used to do to make her laugh. I found out that she had accepted Christ, which was really great news.

Popo passed away on August 21, 2008. She will be missed.

Liukin vs Kexin

Before I get into the matchup, just wanted to give a shout out the Jamaican girl who won the 100m. That had to be one of the funniest and silliest celebrations we've seen in the Olympics, she looked so happy running around with the flag, and confusing the cameramen by changing directions and falling over herself with pure joy.

Yesterday we watched and listened to the entire sequence for both CBC and NBC's coverage of the women's individual gymnastics on the uneven bars. There was some hoopla over the scoring for the event, mostly coming from the US, which ended in a tiebreaker that awarded the gold to Chinese He Kexin over American Nastia Liukin. Since none of the American commentators new the rules for tiebreakers, they ended making a huge fuss over it.

I actually thought Liukin's routine should have scored higher. Having watched both the US and Canadian coverage of it (each channel has a camera from opposite sides of the apparatus) it seemed to me Liukin made 1 or 2 less mistakes. "He" had a pretty awesome double release move, but at the end of the day they both had the same start value and difficulty, so you would assume the person who made less mistakes gets a higher score. But then again what do I know -- my experience as a spectator of gymnastics spans approximately 8 days.

I found it interesting that the CBC coverage simply explained the tiebreak, whereas the US coverage went on and on first about not understanding the logistics of the tiebreak, (at which point they were blaming the computer, which I take exception to). Then upon being enlightened of the rules, they thought the rules were stupid. Which is pretty much what anyone would say if they lost on a technicality, which Liukin did. But it still seemed pretty comical coming from the commentators point of view.. reminded me a little of a Pro-Line commercial and the US being on the losing side of one.

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Eczema and other annoyances

Over the past few years I've noticed that I get a rash in the summer time on my elbows and knees, but this year in particular it's been pretty crazy. I used to just wash it thinking it was just sweat, but recently I found out it was eczema. I remember a few years ago scolding AT over and over again for scratching her scars, and now I understand why she wouldn't stop. Boy is it ever itchy!

Now I'm the one with scabs all over my arms, elbows and knees. I'm the one rubbing steroids into my skin and trying not to scratch. What a pain in the butt this is. Maybe I shouldn't be using the word "butt". I'd hate for this thing to spread over there..

Ina and I have discovered while watching Olympics that we need to pick and choose the station based on the sport, which can have varying degrees of annoyances amongst the commentators. Either you choose the American commentators of NBC who are extremely biased towards the USA, or the Canadian commentators of CBC, many of whom have no experience commenting on the sport they've been assigned to so they often sound like complete morons.

So it comes down to US Patriots versus Canadian Idiots. I am one of those Canadians that absolutely *loathe* American pride. And yet in this case, I choose the bias because outside of swimming the US hasn't really been doing all that great. China seems to be winning everything else except for track and field where the Jamaicans are cleaning up. Besides, other than media types and journalists the NBC commentators have been pretty gracious.

CBC commentators are the absolute worst, particularly because they hired a bunch of former athletes who have no business doing commentary. This becomes apparent particularly in diving, where Anne Montminy seems to be reading from a script which contains these two lines:

1) That was a miss for him/her/them!
2) That was terrific!

She's got a 50% chance of being right, and it seems like she gets it right half the time so my guess is she's using a random number generator to decide which line to read. My favorite comment in diving so far came from her partner, who we heard say "Looks like the judges don't agree with you" after she had commented that one of the pairs of synchronized divers had missed badly.

Anne also believes these two women look exactly the same:
The second annoying commentator is Paul Romanuk, commentating for Olympic basketball. I can't think of too many guys who could screw this up more. Perhaps Rod Black, who thankfully works for CTV. There is nothing worse than a hockey play-by-play guy doing basketball.

Finally, if you have spent any time in the subways, or watching CBC, or driven by the billboards you should have seen Bell's latest ad-campaign. The annoying little beavers are finally gone, ill-advised if you ask me, and they've got this new "er" thing. Which makes very little sense, I have no idea where they are going with it, but I'm having a lot of fun.

Narrow eyes

Ina and I had a pretty good laugh after I showed her this picture, which has sparked a lot of controversy over the past few days. I've had some interesting conversations about this with various people. Since Jose Calderon is in the photo, there's been a bit of hoopla coming out of the Raptors community. Apparently some people feel Jose Calderon must be a racist based on this photo where he is spreading his eyes apart and supposedly offending all Chinese people as a result.

For me, it seems harmless enough. I happen to have narrow eyes, I was born this way and it is part of my identity. That got me thinking about what they could have done that REALLY would have offended me. I came up with a few ideas:

How about trying to make a mockery out of what was easily the most spectacular Olympic opening ceremonies in history of the world? How about if they blamed a bunch of accidents on Chinese people, who obviously purposely used toxic materials to make toys so that they could harm children? Oh, maybe they could make fun of our culture and diet, how we eat things that are absolutely disgusting that makes you want to puke. The Chinese won double gold in team gymnastics? There could be no other explanation other than that the Chinese were under-age, after all they've been lying about their age for years. Chinese people are all a bunch of liars. How about a picture of the Spanish basketball team all wearing gas masks because apparently the Beijing air is toxic and if you breathe it you will die, and 16 million people living there must be mutated because otherwise how else could they possibly breathe?

You want to offend Chinese people, see the above for ideas. Oh wait, they've all been done before.

Jubilation

... is the word I would use to describe the 4x200 men's relay in finals swimming. Watching the US overcome a significant lead by France to win the gold, with the help of an older man on the team. That was awesome, and helps Michael Phelps continue his quest for 8 gold medals! To see him celebrate in joy was great too, I think that picture will be one of those images we will see again and again for the next couple weeks. Simply awesome!

Before I begin the following rant, let me just say that the opening ceremonies were spectacular. They were by far the best ever without any doubt. I can't help but shudder at the thought of what Toronto could have come up with. Granted, China likely operated on a limitless budget, but still. What is Canada famous for? What legacies do we have, what are things we can be proud of? I wonder if Steven Harper would even bother showing up.

Ina and I have watched a lot of Olympics because of our ability to record everything. We've been recording the CBC feed, but have noticed that they re-run a lot of footage, and skip a lot of the things we want to see, while showing a lot of stuff online instead (which we can't view due to a slower internet connection). Furthermore, why would we watch on a little screen after we paid for HD content? That's been pretty disappointing to say the least, when you consider that in the past CBC has been a treat compared to the available US feeds.

We're at the brink of switching all our recordings to the US feed, who have more emphasis on things we actually want to watch, such as team gymnastics, swimming, rowing. It seems that CBC has "sold out" a little bit, putting more emphasis on Canadians, even though they all suck. Rarely do we get to see an event that Canada is not involved in, except for maybe beach volleyball. I don't know about the average Canadian viewer, but personally when I'm watching the Olympics I would rather see the best compete -- excellence, regardless of who is competing -- than watch yet another Canadian fail.

For example, why show the entire match of the Canadian boxer who got pummeled mercilessly by the Kazakh, 20-1? How necessary was it show that entire fight, not to mention twice more in various re-runs. You didn't make us watch Sue Nattress miss 25 shots in shooting, so why force us to watch a Canadian getting the snot punched out of him?

Also, say it with me -- "LAST PLACE". There is no such thing as 4th place out of 4 teams, 12th place out of 12 competitors. Nobody needs to be patronized. It's last, so just say it.

Madden Curse

The question is, was the trade and all of the bad publicity a result of the Madden curse, or has the curse not taken into effect yet?

And since Favre is wearing a Packers jersey in the cover (which EA has no intention of changing), does this mean that both Green Bay and Favre will be cursed this season?

Consider this: Green Bay has likely ZERO chance of making the playoffs now, after botching the handling of this entire situation. They've estranged their own fans and insulted an NFL legend. I don't know about you but if I'm GB why would I side with a relative unknown and unproven Aaron Rodgers? Just doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

As for Brett Favre, he's joining a really bad team that will all of a sudden become a team that has a chance at the playoffs. I think they can do it because Brett makes them that much better. But is Favre is cursed?

Melon diet: FAIL

Ina and I planned to go on an all-melon diet on Monday. I declared it on Saturday, saying that on Monday, we would be going for the All-Melon diet. An All-Melon Monday.

We bought a bunch of melons: 1 watermelon, 2 cantaloupes (they were on sale, 2 for $5), 1 honeydew, and 1 canary melon.

Monday, late morning I chopped them up into bite size pieces and we started to eat them, because we were pretty hungry.

We'd bought some kind of chinese soup mix with watercress and meat and all kinds of goodies. Ina decided to make this while we were on this diet. It seemed innocent enough, but I think it may have led to our ultimate failure.

So around 12pm, we were still munching away on cantaloupe and honeydew, and I was getting really, really hungry. My stomach was full, and yet the hunger lingered.

At about 2pm, the soup was just about ready and Ina had a taste despite our diet. It smelled soooo good. I just had to have some. I only had the liquid.

At 2:30, I couldn't take it anymore. I declared it to be a No-Meat Monday instead, and as we were both famished we each cooked up some instant noodles and ate them up ravenously. My noodles tasted like (bleep!), but I was so hungry I gobbled it all up.

(Ina and I bought 5 packets of instant noodles each, a few weeks ago, in a fun attempt to find the best instant noodle that had a great mix of low price and good taste. I found a few that were 33 cents each. What a deal!)

Oh, might as well add the Push Up thing to the subject header too. 100 push ups? I haven't done any since Ina got back. FAIL.

Consequences

Pastor Ian preached about Consequences this past Sunday. It made me think about a lot of the choices I've made in the past. One of things that's been on my mind, obviously, is blogging. But moreover I've been thinking a lot about how much the world has changed, how close we are together and how easily we can reach eachother.

Whether that's a good thing or not can be left up to you to decide.

But about blogging. Of course I've always known that this blog is readily available to anyone with internet access, except perhaps those with restricted access in various countries. But it never really became so apparent to me as it did a couple weeks ago. It's just the realization that ANYONE could be reading this.

I never really thought twice that what I said here could affect other people. The consequences of sharing my experiences a year ago could have huge repercussions. It's one big web of dissension.

Perhaps the word itself "blog" is somewhat deceiving. Originating from "web log", it is a log that is found on the web. It's accessible to the general public. But when you think of logs, or journals, or perhaps diaries, the word "public" does not enter your mind. To view a log usually takes some work. You might need to retrieve a log, say from a storage device. A journal might require you to search under someone's mattress or pillow. Finding a diary might not be good enough, a lot of them have locks and require a key to open --- and heaven forbid if you did open it up --- reading someone's diary is widely considered an invasion of privacy. But a blog.. a blog is read by everyone.

(In fact, the moment you press "Publish" it is pretty much etched in stone. Even if you retract it, it's already too late because people have those pesky RSS feeders that retrieve it the instant you publish.)

Pretty crazy. Kinda makes you want to think twice the next time you post, eh?

Perfect pitch

I only know a few people with perfect pitch. Many people say they have perfect pitch but then they prove otherwise by their singing. I don't know if that means they don't have perfect pitch, but I do know they didn't sing in perfect pitch. Or could it be that I'm so way off myself, that perfection sounds off? I'm not so sure.

For whatever reason, I've been listening to a lot of Carpenters lately. Two weeks ago I was listening to a whole lot of rap music at work, then I saw Hellboy II, and found myself listening to Barry Manilow. Then for some reason I started looking up Carpenters, and now I can't get enough of it. Karen Carpenter had such a great voice, it's soft and gentle, yet assertive. And she's got perfect pitch for sure, there's no doubt about it. She sounded pretty damn good in her day, makes me sad that she died so young.

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Day 3

Level 1: 5
Level 2: 4
Level 3: 4
Level 4: 3
Level 5: max (at least 5)

So I went ahead with the program last night, just after dinner. Everything went fine, this morning I'm not sore at all, I'm not sure what to think of that. Anyhow, I managed 12 on level 5, just barely bettering my previous record of 11 in a row.

Although the program suggests 3 days per week, I kind of want just keep going on this every other day thing that I've been doing so far.

The best movie ever made?

On Saturday I went down to Mel Lastman Square to check out the CCSA mid-season mixer. There were a few bands playing, a couple of them comprised of kids from our church so I just wanted to see how good they were. I called my brother and we met up there, listened to the bands play and then we got bored and decided to go home.

As I headed back into Empress Walk I wondered aloud if the theater was showing The Dark Knight, because sometimes it doesn't show the big blockbuster films.

We went up the escalator and lo and behold there it was, and it was starting 15 minutes! So in we went.

Amazingly the theatres were all full, they had been showing the film all day and even ours was full. Rule of thumb: If Empress Walk theaters are full, then it MUST be a good movie.

I don't know if I would call it the best movie of all time, although some people believe it to be truth. It was pretty damn good, though flawed in that I felt like it could have ended a whole lot sooner, but I understand they wanted to do Dent some justice.

But easily the best Batman film ever. By a mile.

Anyway, go watch it. 15 million others already have.

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Day 2 of the push up plan was as follows (I did this on Saturday):

Level 1: 4 push ups
Level 2: 3 push ups
Level 3: 2 push ups
Level 4: 2 push ups
Level 5: max (at least 4)

90 seconds break between each level. I managed to get 11 at level 5, once again smashing my old record of 9 in a row. I guess I was overly optimistic to expect a linear improvement, going from 4 to 9 to 11. Am I peaking? I hope not. I was feeling pretty sore after Day 1, whereas today (for Day 3) I'm not feeling any soreness at all. Could I hit 15 today, or 12?

Week 1, Day 1

In the hundred push ups plan, day 1 of week 1 has 5 levels:

Level 1: 2 push ups
Level 2: 2 push ups
Level 3: 2 push ups
Level 4: 2 push ups
Level 5: max (at least 5)

You're supposed to give yourself 1 minute between each level of break time. I seemed to do relatively well, on Level 5 I managed 9 push ups in a row, smashing my old record of 4 in a row. The instructions say to give at least 1 day between workout days, I guess it gives your muscles a chance to tear and heal. Anyhow, I plan to do the next day on Saturday. I hope you will keep my accountable.
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There's the kid who performs at Market Square (that's the "square" in front of Metro Hall) once in awhile on Thursdays for "Indulge". They have food for sale and a farmer's market and live music. Anyway this kid is named Jordan John. He's a drummer but he can sing and I saw him play the electric guitar once. He's amazing..

He's living proof of how hard it must be to break into the music industry. The fact that he's not considered one of the more talented Canadian kids out there is amazing to me, unless he's simply just not interested in fame. Seeing him today playing drums and singing at the same time was really cool. I think what impresses me is that he plays the drums so effortlessly.

He'll be back next week and I'm definitely looking forward to it.

onehundredpushups

I found this site, http://www.hundredpushups.com yesterday through my newsfeed on Lifehacker yesterday. It's a 6-week training program that promises that by investing 3 days a week for a total of 30 minutes per week, you will be able to (or be well on your way to) do 100 push ups in one go.

The beauty of course with push ups is there's no equipment required, and you don't have to go anywhere to do it. That pretty much fits well with my lifestyle.

The site should was down for most of yesterday (they call this phenomenon lifehacker'd, but when it came back on I downloaded and printed out the PDF complete plan.

There is an initial test before you get started. This helps to determine the level of difficulty that you are about to embark on. The training itself has 3 levels, based on where you ranked on the initial test.

Rank 1: 0-5 push ups
Rank 2: 6-14 push ups
Rank 3: 15-29 push ups
Rank 4: 30-49 push ups
Rank 5: 50-99 push ups
Rank 6: 100-150 push ups
Rank 7: 150 & above

It's also broken down by age. Less than 40, between 40 and 55, and above 55. The above scale is for anyone under 40. I guess if you're at rank 5 or higher, you don't really need this training thing at all. I fell into Rank 1, managing just 4 push ups in one go. I haven't worked out seriously since 2000 back in Ottawa, so although getting 4 seemed low, I think it sounds just about right. My arms are much smaller than those days, and I'm also about 15 pounds heavier.

They said that most people fall between Ranks 2 and 3 and not to be discouraged by your rank, because the training will put everyone on an even playing field. They also say it's important you don't cheat or cut corners because it'll just mean you will fail when you go through the training. Push ups are all about the right form, if you don't have the right form you could just be wasting your time, not to mention endangering yourself to injuries.

I plan to start the program tonight.

Response

My hands have been literally shaking and my heart has been pounding as I typed this up. I really do feel awful about this. It's not the first time I've gotten in trouble for blogging, but for something that's so close to my heart, it's pretty devastating in my opinion.

I'd like to apologize and respond to a recent comment made to a post I wrote about a year ago, regarding one of the journey entries about my trip to Longlac in 2007.

What had happened was I had posted my thoughts and feelings about something that had happened on one of the evenings and those comments offended some people. Well .... given that it's readily and available on the internet, I likely offended more than just a few people.

I'd like to apologize. What was said was not only insensitive, but it gave the perception that I was "better" than the people I was describing, and that could not be further from the truth.

First of all I just wanted to say that these things that I post here are solely of my opinion only -- I don't represent other people and therefore if anyone is still angry, that anger should only be directed at me. I say a lot of dumb things.. it happens.

My post regarding my experiences in Longlac -- particularly the one about the incident at the church. In that post I described some kids as "demon-possessed". I didn't mean to imply that the children were actually demon-possessed, it was more that I was scared, and my post was a reactionary "in the heat of the moment" description of the events that took place.

I want to apologize for hurting anyone's feelings and for conveying a negative message.

I also wanted everyone to know that I've taken down all of my Longlac sharing blogs to ensure that no one else will read them and get the wrong idea about the people of Longlac, and both reserves.

One of the #1 questions I get about Longlac is why I keep going back every year. If I like kids, why not just work the inner-city Toronto kids? If I like missions, why not travel overseas? Why go back to Longlac each year?

The thing about Longlac, the honest truth.. is that I love the kids there. Maybe it sounds a little selfish but I love spending time with the kids, playing games and just talking to them. It's such a joy to be amongst them and I feel blessed for being part of their lives, and I hope that some day they feel the same way about me. The best thing of all is going back each year and recognizing faces.. and I get such a thrill when some of them remember me.

With these recent events coming into light, it pains me even more that I'm not going this year. It was a difficult enough decision to begin with, and now it pains me that I miss out on the opportunity to apologize in person and to show how much these people mean to me.

Again just to reiterate, I'm truly sorry for the things I said. I know that this response probably isn't enough to heal hurt feelings, I only hope that in time, you will forgive me.

White bred

Here is a self-portrait.

Let me tell you a story, it's not something I'm particularly proud of, call it a moment of weakness.. but it is what it is.

This never would have happened if my co-worker hadn't ditched me. We were supposed to go to Burger King for the fish burger deal, but at lunch time I poked my head out of my cubicle to find that he had already left. So I went down to BK myself, but halfway there I had a craving for Bourbon St Grill.

Bourbon St Grill is a food court restaurant that has huge portions, relatively cheap and huge portions. Did I mention huge portions? I ordered the same thing I always get, the blackened fish with green beans on steamed rice. The fish is to die for, and the beans.. I've tried to make them but I can't figure it out. Somehow it's soggy the way I like them, but also crunchy the way I like them. And juicy. They're perfect. Their rice leaves much to be desired though, it's sort of this hard, non-sticky kind.

I stood in line and ordered, and then to my delight I found I had perfect amount of change to pay $21.54 so I could get $15 back in bills. Love it when that happens.. anyway I grabbed a handful of sauce packets, plastic cutlery and headed back to the office.

So anyway I was sitting there eating my lunch when I noticed I'd picked up some a packet of soy sauce amongst the packets I usually get (plum sauce, hot sauce). And that is when it happened.

With all the hard chewy rice, I wondered how this would taste with some soy sauce.. Right away my conscience spoke up ---

"Thinking about putting soy sauce in your rice?! What are you, a WHITE boy?"

I shook my head at the thought and continued eating. But the rice was really hard.

"Don't you DARE! BRIAN -- Stop this at once! Don't even think about it!!"

But I couldn't help it. In my mind I was already reaching towards the little packet. I was finding the rice hard to swallow, nearly choking on it. If I put some soy sauce, it might be easier to eat, I thought. Plus it would add some flavor.. The thought crept back into my head while I tried to resist the temptation to commit the unfathomable.

Finally, I stopped eating. I put down my chopsticks and looked around to make sure no one was looking. When the coast was clear, I tore into the soy sauce. I splashed it around in the rice, cackling with an evil but sinister super villainous laugh. It was like one of those homicidal pyromaniacs who splash gasoline all over their victims in the movies, before they light them on fire. All the while being extremely cautious as to not attract any attention, of course. Then I stirred furiously and, in a matter of seconds, my white rice was now brownish. I had done it.

I had mixed soy sauce into my rice, and somewhere, in the great beyond or perhaps underground, an old chinese man rolled over in his grave.

The lap of luxury

I saw this Dinner in the Sky thing on Breakfast Television this morning. It looks fun and all, but COME ON people.. is this really necessary? Do we have so much money that we need to blow it on something like this? I mean really??

Can you think of a better way to say F*** YOU to all the starving kids in the world, than this? Not only do we have more food than you, we are EATING it up in the SKY. Are we so bored that we need to be entertained this way? Yup, we're so well-off and spoiled that we're paying the big bucks, so we can be lifted into the sky and eat up there, hang out feet off the ledge -- cuz hey, we're rich and you're not!

Mangosteen: Gross

Finally got my hands on a pair of mangosteen. According to wikipedia, it's supposed to be one of those "super fruits", with tons of anti-oxidants and other kinds of goodness.

One thing they forgot to leave out was how gross they taste. For $6.49/lb, I would recommend sticking with blueberries.

RB with a new QB

Someone asked me whether or not I thought Green Bay Packers running back Ryan Grant could repeat his amazing rookie breakout performances this season without Brett Favre. That's big question because without Favre they're going with Aaron Rodgers, who has never started in his career. Being thrusted in this type of role will be a huge responsibility. I don't know about Rodgers but personally I'm not too worried about Grant. I have him in one of my keeper leagues as my #3 RB behind Steven Jackson and Maurice Jones-Drew although I'd argue Grant could be my 2nd best guy.

I'm sure many other fantasy owners are wondering whether opponents will just stack the line and stop Grant, forcing Rodgers to win games with his arm and hope he makes tons of rookie mistakes. I won't disagree that Rodgers has to be half-decent for Grant to have a great year, but I don't think it's reason to downgrade Grant.

Grant became the main ball carrier for Green Bay starting week 8, and amassed 1048 yards (929 rushing) and 8 touchdowns in that span. He did that in 10 games. This means he averaged 104.8 yards (93 rushing) and 0.8 touchdowns per game as a starter.

Over a 16 game span, Grant would have had 1677 total yards and 13 touchdowns. That's pretty good for a rookie.

In the past there have been several RBs who not only performed well despite a rookie quarterback taking over, they did exceptionally well -- some of them turned in career bests. Marshall Faulk was huge in Peyton Manning's first year. (I'm not comparing Aaron Rodgers to Peyton Manning, so take a chill pill.). Hold your breath, there's more -- Antowain Smith had his best season playing for the Pats in Tom Brady's first season. In Phillip Rivers' first season as starting quarterback, LaDainian Tomlinson had his best career as a professional football player. Frank Gore had his best season in Alex Smith's first full season as a starter -- in fact if you count Smith's starts in 2005, Gore career pretty much took off the same time as Smith's did. I don't know if you remember this far back but Duce Staley had a pretty nice year til he got hurt, and Jerome Bettis was so good in relief he made it to the Pro Bowl, his first time in 3 years. That was in Ben Roethlisberger's first season. In Tony Romo's first season 2006, that was the year Marion Barber broke out for 14 TDs. Heck, even when Kyle Boller took over as starter in Baltimore in 2003, Jamal Lewis had his best year ever as pro.

I've included average QBs such as Kyle Boller, Alex Smith, Tom Brady (just kidding!) to prove that Aaron Rodgers doesn't need to be a superstar quarterback for Grant to succeed.

The only guys I can think of where a young quarterback took over for a team and the RB sucked was Jay Cutler (no notable breakout for any RB in Denver), Matt Schaub (TJ Duckett and Warrick Dunn, neither had a huge breakout season).

As long as Aaron Rodgers doesn't turn out as bad as Cutler or Schaub (two guys who aren't necessarily bad QBs as they just didn't have good runningbacks), I think Grant is going to be just fine. And you can only assume that Rodgers will get better or they'll get a better QB. Packers fans simply won't stand for years of mediocrity at QB (see Baltimore, Miami for details,).

Demanding excellence

We are now a couple of years removed from the Raptors initial "break-out" season when we won 47 games. Sam Mitchell won coach of the year, Bryan Colangelo won Executive of the Year. We had a 20 win turnaround. A couple of years ago, if you had told me we would win 41 games, I would have been stoked but now I think it's only fair to say that I have higher expectations of this team. No longer is "making the playoffs" a hope, but rather an expectation. I want to see this team win a series or two. I want the team to be built to win championships.

After watching a handful of high-caliber playoff games between teams that were built to win championships, it's clear to me that our team is severely lacking in several areas. This isn't just about adding an athletic wing, or bringing in a good defensive rebounding big man.

Our team can shoot but we can't defend, and maybe it worked for the Phoenix Suns, but I think it's more of a case that they are the anomaly. Many teams have tried to build their teams like the Suns, and all have failed. In fact, the Suns themselves abandoned their approach because it was clearly not working.

Starting from the shortest and working our way up, here's a realistic look at the Toronto Raptors and just how we match up with other playoff teams and championship teams:

PG

It is looking more and more like the Raptors are planning to commit to Jose Calderon as their future starting point guard. At times Jose has looked like one of the most efficient point guards in the league. He rarely turns over the ball, and makes great passes to open teammates. He has great court vision, and is becoming and expert in pick-and-roll situations. He can hit open shots, although he still need to work on hitting those do-or-die big shots.

The question is, where does Jose stand amongst some of his perennially successful peers? Where does he stand amongst his fellow point guards, those who are playoff contenders? Would Jose Calderon start ahead of: Chauncey Billups, Derek Fisher, Tony Parker, Rajon Rondo? Probably not. Fisher is far more composed and takes big shots when his team needs them. Rondo is a far better defender than Calderon, and is quicker and longer. He's also almost as good at taking care of the ball as Jose.

What about those eliminated earlier: Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Steve Nash, Gilbert Arenas, Jason Kidd, Mike Bibby, Andre Miller, Jameer Nelson, Rafer Alston, Allen Iverson, Damon Jones. Okay, you can make a case for Calderon over a few of these guys -- Jones, Kidd (at his spry 523 years of age), Nelson (although he outplayed Calderon in this years' playoffs). But the point is, as a defensive liability, Jose is not amongst the top guys, and would be lucky to crack even the top 10.

SG

Couple years ago I thought Anthony Parker was a great addition to the team. I still do, but do I think he's the answer? Having watched Mo Pete all these years, he was a big upgrade due to his consistent shooting, and solid defense. He's easily our best one-on-one defender. Fast forward to present day, yes, he's still a solid player, but if you compare him to other shooting guards, how good is he? He's reached his peak and is on his way down. He's a bit of a glue guy, like a poor man's Shane Battier but older (turning 33 in a week), smaller, weaker, and slower. How does he compare to the guards in contending teams?

Would he start ahead of Kobe Bryant, Ray Allen, Richard Hamilton, Manu Ginobili? What about Tracy McGrady, Ronnie Brewer, Keith Bogans, Joe Johnson, Raja Bell, Jason Terry, DeShawn Stevenson, Willie Green, Delonte West, J.R. Smith, Morris Peterson? I would put him somewhere in the middle of the latter group, which puts him in similar territory as Calderon. If you include non-playoff SGs, he falls out of the top 10.

So far our starting backcourt ranks around 10th in the league.

SF

Our starting small forward is long, athletic and but raw. He can defend at times, but is better as a help than the first guy one-on-one defender. Great leaping ability gives him the ability to block shots, but most of the time he fails in this because he doesn't have the smarts to be in the right position at the right time. Settles for jump shots despite athleticism that enables him to drive and hit higher percentage shots. We often find him missing his man, and has been criticizing for not taking the game seriously enough. Sounds familiar, huh?

Jamario Moon is a rookie, but he's also 27 years old so that eliminates the upside. He's our starting small forward and I'd venture to say that he likely doesn't start on 95% of the teams in the league.

Comparing him to the top small forwards in the league, you see right away where Toronto needs the most help in. Tayshaun Prince, Paul Pierce, Lamar Odom, Bruce Bowen. No comparison. What about Rashard Lewis, Josh Childress, Caron Butler, Andre Iguodala, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, Josh Howard, Peja Stojakovic, Kyle Korver, Boris Diaw, Shane Battier. Where does Moon rank? #16 and only because we made the playoffs. I can think of a few other guys better than him who didn't make the playoffs -- Gerald Wallace, Rudy Gay, Ron Artest, Vince Carter, Luol Deng just to name a few. The reality is that he is one of the worst starting SFs in the entire league.

PF

Chris Bosh is our only feature player. Some teams have 2-3 star players. We have 1. The power forward position is likely the only position where I can honestly say we have one of the top guys available. While every other position is questionable, at PF I am happy.

Amongst the best teams - Vladimir Radmanovic (Pau Gasol if Bynum were healthy), Rasheed Wallace, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett. Some argument can be made that Bosh deserves to be mentioned amongst these guys. David West, Dirk Nowitzki, Kenyon Martin, Reggie Evans, Joe Smith, Amare Stoudamire, Carlos Boozer, Luis Scola, Josh Smith, Antawn Jamison, Hedo Turkoglu. Bosh is definitely amongst these guys. Some of them are better rebounders but they can't score like Bosh can. He has an uncanny ability to take it to the rack and draw the foul, something I believe he needs to do a whole lot more rather than settle for jump shots. There aren't many big men with his free throw shooting ability.

At PF we're right around 7th or 8th overall.

C

Despite approximately $20M invested in big men to play the center position, we do not have a single guy who is the #1 clear-cut starter and this very unfortunate. Bargnani has gotten considerable time here because he needs the time to learn to play the position. Rasho performed great for us down the stretch in the regular season, but as he's done throughout his career, he completely disappeared in the playoffs.

However, all is not lost. If history has proven anything, you don't need a big time center to win championships unless his name is Shaquille O'Neal (and he's not 150 years old).

Looking at the top teams' big man position, Antonio McDyess, Kendrick Perkins, Pau Gasol (or Andrew Bynum), Fabricio Oberto all shed some light on just how badly a great C is needed. Al Horford, Dwight Howard, Samuel Dalembert, Brendan Haywood, Shaquille O'Neal, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Tyson Chandler, Dikembe Mutombo (Yao Ming), Erick Dampier, Marcus Camby, Mehmet Okur. All these guys are hands down better than any of ours. But if there's something we can take from this listing is that none of these guys are required to be the highest scoring player on their respective teams, and that the worst rebounder was Erick Dampier at 4.2 rebounds per game.

Our highest rebounding C in the playoffs was Rasho Nesterovic at 2.6.

Amongst the centers in the league, the Raptors are amongst the worst, and dead last amongst their playoff counterparts.

You can forget about bench. Starters play approximately 80% of the minutes, so even with a great bench, you're only winning 20% of the time. Certainly a bench helps, but this should not be a concern until after you've establish your championship calibre starting squad.

The Raptors have a long, long way to go.

New blog

Ina and I have started a new blog to document our life together. We're co-authors of it, so from time to time we'll post there. As we feel that God united us to be a couple to live out the rest of our lives, we've aptly named it "United to Live".

I will likely continue this blog, but if history and experience has anything to say about this, the likelihood of maintaining two blogs is not high.

To join us on our new journey:

http://united2live.blogspot.com