December 11, 2003

Today at work, my boss expressed his disappointment that i was only able to get a 6 month extension from the City, and then he told me he pulling for trying to have me converted to a full-timer. Imagine me, a lifer with the City! Crazy!

When I see God's wonderous works in my life, it is simply amazing. I can't express in words how thankful I am for the way He's blessed me time and time again. A year ago when God gave me this job I told Him that I would whole heartedly commit myself to His will and follow His plan for me. Each time it was near the end of my contract, I never once worried that it might not be extended, or even if it wasn't going to be extended, I did not waver.

I think in my heart I've fully put my life into His hands and allowed Him to do His works to the point where I no longer feel like it's something I need to worry about anymore. My faith has grown and I know that He will open the doors that need to be opened, and close the doors that need to be closed. I think that this approach to life has brought me a lot of peace and joy.

People always ask me where I see myself in 3-5 years. I never really know what to tell them. Before, I had no answer because I just have no real sense of ambition. I've never set career goals like what kind of company I'd like to work at, what kind of hours I'll be working, how many letters come after my name, etc, etc.. All that stuff has never really mattered to me. But I think that at this point in my life it's not just a matter of not having vision or ambition, but more a matter of just not caring about stuff like that because I know in my heart that it's not important.

I know people will say that I can only think this way because I've been so blessed and if I were suffering like many of my friends are right now, I'd be saying different things. Maybe they're right, maybe if God takes everything away I'll be less faithful, more demanding and bitter. Maybe. Hopefully not.

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