I was sitting with a friend yesterday, catching up and enjoying some ice cream when the proverbial question came. "So, how are you doing, spiritually?".
Not sure about the rest of you, but I've always had trouble with this question. Perhaps it's just the wording of the question that confuses me. Spiritually, how am I doing? How am I doing from a spiritual perspective, as opposed to a physical perspective, or emotional.. or vocationally?
What puzzles me is whether or not I'm capable of separating myself out into these categories. Other than Physical Brian, I'm not sure I can split Spiritual Brian, Vocational Brian and Emotional Brian. There is only one me. And is it even right for me to be able to do that, when God should be part of my entire being? If I am able to separate Vocation Brian and Spiritual Brian, does that make me a Sunday Christian?
Most of the time when I'm asked this question, I want to run away because deep down I am thinking to myself that I haven't spent enough time with God and that I am about to be exposed for not being a perfect Christian. I suppose from that I've discovered that I often feel a sense of guilt and duty when it comes to my walk with God. So when the question is asked, I often feel like a deer in headlights, and a sense of fear and guilt comes over me. What do I say? "Okay, okay. You got me. The truth is finally out there folks. Yes. I'm a bad Christian. I spend more time watching sports than reading the Bible. It's true and I am ashamed. Also, I often fall asleep when I'm praying at night, and I have passed up about a billion times to share my faith because I am scared to offend the other person." Cameras flash and tomorrow you see me, plastered on the front page of every newspaper, and the caption reads: "Guilty: Man claims to be a Christian".
Sometimes I find when I'm asked the question, I start making excuses in my head. As if I can some how justify myself. I'm thinking "Well.. I just did some missions, so I'm definitely half decent right now.." or "My devotions are almost non-existent, but I pray every night, and plus I'm serving on the worship team so that has to count for something right?"
I think generally it is difficult or people don't really want to think about that aspect of their life. Or maybe it's just me. We want to believe that things are A-OK, because as Christians we want to appear as if everything is fine and dandy, that life is perfect in an otherwise depressing and imperfect, world.