Here's some more insight or am I simply too tired or am I thinking too much? I was talking to a friend about being compelled, or driven by the "will of God". The subject eventually turned to being about where my heart was. Perhaps my heart is in the wrong place, so that is why I've never experienced or fully understand this 'will of God' thing.

To believe that God exists is easy. Believing that God loves us is easy too. Once you believe in A God, then you believe that God created everything. That's the definition of "God". Well obviously God loves us, since He made us. If He didn't, then why would He bother making us? Out of boredom? I think not. The tough part is the giant leap of faith. Believing that God acknowledges me and that I have indeed been saved. Am I really saved? If I believe that Christ died for my sins, then yes, I have been saved, according to John 3:16. But it can't be that easy, can it? Is it wrong to be worried about my own salvation?

I could say that I have been blessed -- my whole family has been blessed. But an outsider could just as easily say "man, that dude is soooo lucky". Kramer would call me "Even Steven". Do I just naturally feel inclined to believe in God because I've been so "lucky"? Am I thankful to God because of my perceived luck?

A new believer feels compelled to worship and obey the Lord, because they've just experienced the change in their lives, from being a non-believer to being a believer. How does that apply to me? I've always worshipped and done my best to obey the Lord. But why do I do it? I accepted Christ years and years ago. If I experienced a change in my life, it was a long time ago and I don't remember what that felt like. So am I a changed man now? If so, how come I still haven't been compelled by His love? When do I get to be driven by His will?

If only it were that easy, to ask God what He wants me to do, and get a straight answer, a booming voice saying: "Brian, here's what I want you to do........." All I want is to follow God's will, I can't think of anything more satisfying than doing exactly what I was set here to do.

As I was reading this over I felt like I stepped into my monitor, or that the words popped out at me like one of those hidden 3D posters! Maybe I should just go to bed. Good night all.