July 30, 2006

Life stages

When you get to around the age that I have just about reached or have already reached, and you're still single, you start getting not only pressure from parents, but concerned friends who are married. Generally I've found that people who are married are very intrigued by people who aren't married, they feel as though we (the single) are behind or missing out on something.

Not that I don't disagree that we're missing out on something -- obviously we're missing out on married life. But this idea that we're in some kind of dilemna that needs fixing is totally absurd. "Poor Johnny, he's in a real bind. Look at him, he's single. We need to save him.."

Generally I think all married couples who do this are coming in with good intentions. Although they may not really see the big picture, they have experienced something amazing and want to see us experience the same thing.

'The setup'

The setup is when those elite married couples decide that one of us just cannot go any further being single, and feel the need to alleviate us from this horrible fate that we find ourselves in. They prod and poke to try and figure out what the heck is wrong with us, why haven't we moved in for the kill, what are we waiting for. They give us a list of names, or ask us for certain criteria we're looking for and then provide us with a list of names.

On an interesting side note, this has never actually happened to me. I've seen it hundreds of times to my friends but never to me. I'm kind of in the belief that I personally am not ready for a serious relationship because I am bereft of any kind of mature adult thought. And as a big kid, no woman of my age could possibly take me seriously enough to invest time into a serious relationship with me. I think people see the same thing which is why they never bother to try to set me up. Or perhaps in their eyes I'm not good enough for any of their friends. Or maybe I'm being paranoid and they just see others as more 'desperate cases' than myself. :D

'I'm still finding myself'

I like this answer and I think it works as a great excuse for why I'm still on the 'dark side'. When I was 20 years old, everyone was talking about trying to find God's Will in their life. At that age, we're all looking for answers as to where our lives should be headed. You're in school, you kind of know what you'll be doing because you're finally getting a grasp of what you're learning in school and where it could lead. At 28 (in a couple weeks) I stand here proudly and say that I still have not found myself. I don't really know who I am.

Personally speaking, I can totally see myself getting married, starting a family, growing old with someone. It's the stage in between where I am and that, that to me is kind of a grey area for me. I can't picture myself dating. I can't get my head around the part when you have to ask someone out, then dress up real nice, try to carry out a conversation, poking and prodding. It just doesn't seem natural to me.

I think the coolest thing would be to meet someone while serving. Chances are if you're serving alongside a person, you already have very similar goals and interests. God wouldn't place you in a situation where you weren't using your gifts to the best of your capability. Thus you can kind of skip the whole awkward dating process and go straight into the whatever the next part is. I like that.

'I'm going to bed'

Since I can't think of a good conclusion to this post, I'm just gonna go to sleep.


princess jasy said...

from the point of view of a twenty year old, this post is really not encouraging

haha :P

Michelle said...

Hmmm...skip the whole dating process? Nice try, Brian! I don't think you're gonna get off that easy? :P haha j/k

So I'm still waiting on the rest of that email...??

Anonymous said...

So, would you say that "arranged marriage" is your thing?

out_there_q said...

there's nothing essentially "wrong" with being single longer than your peers. TRUST me on this. Just imagine that you could well be the next "Paul"... he might have been married at some point, but we actually don't know for sure. how's that for a side note?

say, isn't the cheesiest thing you ever had to deal with: "well, if G-d is writing your love story, then He's also your matchmaker..." *gag* *gag* *gag*

eBrian said...

anon: if you mean arranged by God.. yea I'm all for that ;)

q: lol.. that's a good one. there's many, many of those

m: that email is a work in progress.. it's almost done..

j: you're too young to be thinking/worrying about this stuff