Fellowship was really nice tonight. We had a coffee house. It was nice.

*Warning, Sports blurb coming up*
I've been thinking of starting a basketball fantasy pool, possibly on Yahoo. I've sort of kept up with what's going on in basketball over the offseason. The Raps acquired Lamond Murray from the Cavs for Mr. Ouch-I-got-a-paper-cut-now-I-can't-play-even-though-I-get-4-million-dollars-per-season Michael Stewart. This is good news.. Lamond Murray was a great mid-season pickup in most fantasy leagues last season. I suspect he'll supplant Morris Peterson at small forward, possibly even take over that position entirely. He wanted out of Cleveland because he wasn't going to get to start, because of the addition of Darius Miles. So I suspect it's a thing about playing time. Anyway I think Peterson can be a better player than Murray, but I'm doubtful that he can keep up that level of play for all 82 games + playoffs. Raptors need to try to make another move and get a centre.. Hakeem is going to retire.

I feel less pressured today as I did on 9/25. I've seem more job postings lately, I mean it's still not pretty, just watch the finance news and you'll know how bad it is, but it's looking up. I hope to have a job soon though, I'm pretty optimistic even though I won't seem optimistic if you ever talked to me. I saw Garv, he came to the coffee house. He probably knew more people there than I did.. haha

I am feeling really depressed today due to my unemployment. Two more of my friends found jobs today, and though I am very happy for them, it makes me feel more and more discouraged. I've applied to close to 80 jobs now, without even an interview or a call-back. That really sucks. And even though the company is starting to make some real progress towards coming up with our own product, I can't help but remind myself how unlikely it is that we will be successful. *Sigh*

I had ones of those 'late productive' days today. Mind you, for an unemployed bum, I use the word "productive" quite loosely! I woke up at 11am, went on my computer a lamented for an hour on why my fantasy football teams are doing so poorly this season. I am in 4 leagues this year, and only one team has a winning record. I'm 6-6 overall, but it isn't looking good. Two of the teams that are 1-2 are the lowest scoring teams in their leagues..

I had a 'bao' for lunch, it was the sweet kind, with coconut inside. We call it 'bo-lo bao' -- I prefer the kind without coconut inside, but they didn't have any yesterday at the bakery. I usually don't like sweets for lunch, so I also had a chunk of polish sausage. After lunch, I read my Mere Christianity book for a couple chapters. The book is due in 2 more weeks and I've barely reached the 1/10 mark. I guess I'll have to renew it! I 'borrowed' a copy of VB6 to play around with. Just another language I can add to my resume to make me look more 'attractive'. I already made one program, whee!!

For those of you wondering what the heck is this guy doing, with no job, no school, no plans at all.. I've started a company with two other friends/classmates. We're doing IT consulting -- currently we currently have one client and are in the developing stages of our own software (top secret btw, so don't ask =P). Anyway we don't have a website --- yet. So yeah, I *am* doing something at least. :)

I've been sorta putting off this news I have until it was almost for certain that it was gonna happen.

For the last little while my dad had been looking for a new job. He works for Toronto right now. He wasn't happy there so he'd been looking for other places to work. Well, to make a long story short, he got an offer for a director position in Nevada, and at this point I think we are looking at 99.9999% possibility that he will be taking that job.

If/when he takes that job, he'll be starting likely in December. That means in two months, my dad will no longer be living with us. We won't move down immediately since my brother would have to finish his school year. And if by some miracle I managed to find a job in Toronto, then I'd be left behind when they moved. However, if lightning doesn't strike, then by this time next year I'll be living in Nevada.

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. It's come to a point where I look forward to the next day, or even plan my day in order to watch what I want to watch.

To give you a picture of how sorry my life has become:

Sunday - Football game at 1pm, 4pm, and 8:30pm. Also Simpsons at 8pm, Malcolm in the Middle at 9pm, both on Global and Fox. Band of Brothers at 10pm, on Global. I think this means that The Practice won't be premiering until Band of Brothers finishes, unless they've moved time slots.

Monday - Boston Public!! 8pm on Global. Monday Night Football, 9pm on ABC. Fear Factor also at 8pm (NBC). Everybody Loves Raymond at 9pm (Global, CBS).

Tuesday - That 70's Show, 8pm on Global and Fox - Eric and Donna are back together! Next week is Frasier season premiere. Niles is getting married to Daphne! (9pm on Global, NBC). Tuesday's also has Smallville at 8pm on CityTV, season premiere next season. 8pm? doh.. conflict

Wednesday - Enterprise at 8pm on City -- I know a lot of you are down on this show. Give it another chance! Also first seasons for any ST series has sucked because of the all the rushing to develop their characters. Now comes the juicy stuff we've all grown accustomed to from Roddenberry's work! Today I watched Fastlane. All the hype surrounding it didn't lie.. this show is pretty off the hook, though it probably shouldn't be allowed on Primetime. Parents beware!

Thursday - Next week Friends (7:30pm on Global, 8pm on NBC) season premiere. Also new show Hidden Hills, gotta check that one out, it looks funny! Don't forget Survivor: Thailand, 8pm on Global. Btw, this week Friends is a one hour special, so it will go directly against Survivor. I'll have to tape one of them. Then there's Will & Grace at 9pm (also a 1-hour special just for this week).

Friday - Friday's are a bit controversial, because I'm supposed to be at fellowship. But new shows Firefly (8pm on Fox), and John Doe (9pm on Fox too, I think) look very promising.

Saturday - Master's of the Universe(He-man remake!!) at 10am on YTV, X-men (remake as well) at 10:30am on YTV, Justice League at 11am on YTV. Justice League is so cool, they have Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, and a whole slew of other superheroes. Last week Batman.....DIED!!! Oh, also on Saturdays is a show at 7pm called Mysterious Ways (CTV). I really like this show, and I don't think too many people know about it. It's basically like X-Files, only they investigate things that appear to be modern-day miracles.

Dark Angel was cancelled -- too bad. Also Spin City was also canned. I know you guys won't believe me when I tell you that I didn't use a TV Guide to come up with all that (above) -- but it's true!

I think I'm still missing other shows. Once basketball season starts, I'll have to be watching all those games too. I spend quite a bit of time watching sports highlights and cooking shows too, but not particular shows, just the ones i happen to catch from random flippings. I also watch Leno, but only for the opening monologues.

There's also 7th Heaven. Our family used to watch on WB, but our black box died, so now I don't know how we'll watch it. It's a very good show as well.

Something I think is sorta funny is that Growing Pains is on CTS now (the christian station). Back in the day I didn't think it was even one of the good shows, because Mike Seaver pull some pretty crazy stunts back then. It's funny how a show like that is considered "Good Family Values" now.

Let me share with you guys something that's been going through my mind, all through this job search, and even through 4th year. As always, I'll add some humor into it so that you don't read halfway and fall asleep. Here's scene from Seinfeld, Episode 12 - Season 2. The episode was called "The Revenge" for all you movie trivia buffs.

JERRY: So, what are you gonna do now? Are you gonna look for something else in real estate?
GEORGE: Nobody's hiring now. The market's terrible.
JERRY: So what are you gonna do?
GEORGE: I like sports. I could do something in sports.
JERRY: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. In what capacity?
GEORGE: You know, like the general manager of a baseball team or something.
JERRY: Yeah. Well, that - that could be tough to get.
GEORGE: Well, it doesn't even have to be the general manager. Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a caller man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game.
JERRY: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.
GEORGE: What about that?
JERRY: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and people that are, you know, in broadcasting.
GEORGE: Well, that's really not fair.
JERRY: I know. Well, okay. Okay. What else do ya like?
GEORGE: Movies. I like to watch movies.
JERRY: Yeah. Yeah.
GEORGE: Do they pay people to watch movies?
JERRY: Projectionists.
GEORGE: That's true.
JERRY: But you gotta know how to work the projector.
GEORGE: Right.
JERRY: And it's probably a union thing.
GEORGE: [scoffs] Those unions. [sighs] Okay. Sports,...movies. What about a talk show host?
JERRY: Talk show host. That's good.
GEORGE: I think I'd be good at that. I talk to people all the time. Someone even told me once they thought I'd be a good talk show host.
JERRY: Really?
GEORGE: Yeah. A couple of people. I don't get that, though. Where do you start?
JERRY: Well, that's where it gets tricky.
GEORGE: You can't just walk into a building and say " I wanna be a talk show host."
JERRY: I wouldn't think so.
GEORGE: It's all politics.
JERRY: All right. Okay. Sports, movies, talk show host. What else?
GEORGE: This could have been a huge mistake.
JERRY: Well, it doesn't sound like you completely thought this through.
GEORGE: [sighs] What should I do?

Basically what happened in that episode, if you don't remember, is George erupted in anger at his boss, quit, and the next day he is reflecting about it with Jerry, and they're discussing what he'll do now that he has no job.

I think this episode hits home, because like me, George isn't really good at any one thing, and he doesn't know what he wants in life. He's sort of just doing what he does because there's nothing else to do. He asks Jerry for help, and Jerry tries to walk him through the things that George likes and dislikes, to see maybe where and what he was meant to do in life. I had this same conversation with someone a month ago, and the conversation pretty much ended the same way. I've also been having this conversation with God as well, but no feedback yet.

I can just picture it now, 15 years from now, I'll be bald, I'll be living at home with my parents, my crazy parents. I'll have crazy adventures, but they'll never amount to anything. In the end I'll be working in the Skydome, as the assistant to the travelling secretary of the Blue Jays.

JERRY: The New York Yankees?!
GEORGE: The New York Yankees!
JERRY: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle ... Costanza?
GEORGE: I'm the assistant to the travelling secretary. I'm going on the road trips with them! I'll be on the plane... I'm working in Yankee Stadium! This is a dream, I'm busting, Jerry, I'm busting!
JERRY: I can't believe it.
( The door buzzes, it's Elaine, Jerry buzzes her in )
GEORGE: And I'm moving out of my parents' house, I'm taking that apartment on 86th street, remember the one we saw?
JERRY: That's a great place!
GEORGE: I'm back in business, baby!

That's me. One day.

I have a crazy rash on my legs and arms, they just appeared one day, late last week. The itchiness is really bad, it's spread all over, and I've no idea what it is. I thought it was dryness, but lotion didn't help, and since then I've been applying calomine lotion. It doesn't work except at first. I'm going to see a doctor about it tomorrow morning.

Job search remains the same. I've been thinking about what kind of job I would consider my dream job. There are the ones I can list, which are impossible since they don't exist, like getting paid to sleep all day, or to play games. I think the one job, the one dream job that actually exists, that I can think of, is probably sports journalism. But really when you think about it, sports are dumb. Entertainment, sporting, the competition and politics of it, it's all very dumb and pointless.

I feel like each day my life is rotting away, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me. Each day, each hour I sit at my computer applying for this job and that job..

I cooked dinner today, for the family. Brother liked my food a lot -- he wouldn't stop eating my stuff. Heh.

Is anyone reading this?

I just cancelled the first and only interview I've 'landed' in the last 5 months. Sweet...

I NEED A JOB!

Loser.com isn't Google anymore..

Did anyone else see the documentary on CTV called First Person Shooter?

This show should have been called When Parents Fail. The documentary covered a family where the kid in the family dropped out of school so that he could play Counterstrike. I haven't played CS but I know a lot of friends who do. While I wouldn't say that games like these are completely harmless* I would say that the parents in this show are stupid and useless. What parent would even allow a child to choose between dropping out of school and playing computer games?!

Granted, computer games can be extremely addictive. But if it leads to having a child drop out of school, and hearing that the parents say "We were powerless to stop him" ?

*When I was on my cruise, we saw a dead body on the shore, while we were docked at St.Petersburg, Russia. My brother, cousin and I got a pair of binoculars to take a closer look. While my cousin was totally grossed out by the sight of a large hole in the poor guy's face, I thought of Soldier of Fortune almost immediately, as did my brother. We both agreed that it looked like someone had taken a shotgun to his face at very close range. We were pretty fascinated by how accurate the game was!

Here are some interesting facts about gaming:

IDSA Figures (that's International Developers and Software Association for those of you wondering! www.idsa.com)
HISTORICAL SALES FIGURES

$6.35 billion in U.S. entertainment software sales in 2001.
$5.5 billion in U.S. entertainment software sales in 1998.
$3.2 billion in U.S. entertainment software sales in 1995.

WHO PLAYS VIDEO GAMES

43% of people who play interactive games are women
The average age of an interactive game player is 28 years old

For Computer Gamers...
28% of most frequent game players are under eighteen years old
30% of most frequent game players are between 18 and 35 years old
42% of most frequent game players are over 35 years old

For Console Gamers...
42% of most frequent game players are under eighteen years old
37% of most frequent game players are between 18 and 35 years old
21% of most frequent game players are over 35 years old

Wow, talk about a blast from the past! I went to a wedding banquet last night. The groom was someone I knew as a child, but I hadn't seen him for at least 7-8 years. I hadn't talked to him for at least 10 years. So, most of the guests who I knew were friends from just as many years ago! It's funny because I think I will be seeing these people more and more in the next few years, but only at weddings, since the banquets are always full of friends of the parents of the groom and bride.

It was a chinese wedding so it was the standard chinese wedding banquet food. It was also open bar though, so I had a lot of the "Baby Duck" they were serving, which is a red sparkling wine (yum!). I had enough that I couldn't drive home, even though my dad wanted me to drive (my parents like me to drive, because they feel that I need the practice).

Oh I have an mp3, it's pretty good but I don't know who the singer is or the name of the song. The lyrics go like this:

VERSE 1:

It's difficult to say
Goodbye, after
Only one life
Rain will fall down
Replenishing
All over broken dreams

And this burning tree
That's withering
Will burn again
Would you believe

CHORUS:
Goodbye, Goodbye
Walk away it's time to say goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye
Walk away it's hard to say goodbye

Now all that's left
Pictures on the walls
Memories are stories
That are told

The more oft they're told
The bigger they get
Created in the same
Lest we forget

CHORUS:
Goodbye, Goodbye
Walk away it's time to say goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye
Walk away it's hard to say goodbye

VERSE 2
Can I hold onto this feeling
Changing heart I swear
It's time to see it well
Life has been know
My voices will be
You know I will be
Yes it will be
Still

Something wont be heard
In the midst of
Dream and fantasy
Half way there

But He always fills my cup
And He lifts me up
Oh how He lifts me up

CHORUS

Never took the time
To stop and realize
Death takes many forms
Even while alive

Please if anyone knows the name of this song, tell me!