For those of you who haven't been keeping up with my missions blog (my guess is that it's all of you), I am indeed going back to Longlac this year. This is pretty much a decision I made last year on the last day, as we were departing from Longlac #58.
Nothing's changed, I am still going and I've been fortunate enough that I haven't been inconvenienced with anything else so that I'll be able to go without any hitches. This year we will be going for longer, two weekends, from July 15-23.
As I said in my other blog, the difference this year is that I'm not just a visitor anymore, I'm going there as a missionary. Not just a guy who wants to see what it's all about or to test it out, see if it's my calling or out of curiosity. I think, that because I want to return there and continue to grow relationships and to, you know, finish or continue what we started, that I'm going in a different mindset that the last time. And that's not to diminish the great work that one-timer missionaries have done in the past. I just think that going back is just that much more important and meaningful.
It's kind of like, telling your friend or co-worker all about God and salvation, and then saying goodbye and never speaking to them ever again. But not really. No follow-up. Again I'm not knocking the one-timers here but that's how I see from my perspective.
At the same time I have tons of worries and feelings of inadequacy, much like last year. Who knows if this even counts as a follow-up because maybe we didn't even leave a tiny dent last year, maybe it was all for naught. I mean certainly it was for more than naught but did we really make a lasting difference? Who knows.
But maybe it's just silly to worry because here we are doing God's work, and really, is it possible to be fully qualified to do God's work. I mean, to be fully qualified? That's probably never possible. It's not like could ever live up to God's expectations, or if anything He'd have to lower His expectations so low and even then we'd still disappoint Him.
But anyway I'm very excited about this because of all the above reasons.
We have a different team too, different dynamics and junk like that. I'm way past my bedtime.