September 26, 2003

so tired today

i've been really tired all week. i think it coincides with me play wc3 all night, but i'm not sure.. but for some reason everyone at work has been tired all week too, and they're all too old to play wc3.

maybe it's the air, or the change in weather that leads to a sadness which leads to tiresome feelings.

i was a little stressed yesterday after i found i was being sued. but now i'm calmer, i didn't do anything wrong, i mean i didn't do anything wrong on purpose, so hopefully my wrongs can be overlooked for that. for some reason my body and mind freezes at the thought of my reputation going down the tubes. the thought of losing the respect of my peers, or losing my dignity, or losing face..

i've always thought that stuff like that doesn't bother me, but now i find it really does. i hate the feeling of being under attack, it's worrisome and because i shy away from confrontation it bothers me even more that someone would try to attack me. especially someone i considered a decent person.

well, i'm not going to go to court, i'll have my father represent me. hopefully everything goes well.. i guess we can only leave it in God's hands now.

btw, 41 days to go!

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