Walk of shame

The XBOX 360 Arcade went on sale last Friday, dropping from $200 to $130. I had permission to buy one so we picked it up on Friday night. I played it for a couple hours on Friday night, then a few more hours on Saturday night. On Sunday night when I tried to power it up, I got the 3 flashing red lights. The XBOX was dead.

So yesterday after work we took the console back to Future Shop to exchange it for another one. Unfortunately they didn't have any left. Bummed, I put it back in the car and we went to a store called "Frugo", which is found next to the Future Shop (Hwy 7 and Warden), and is owned by the husband of one of my wife's co-workers. The store has pretty much everything you can think of, it's like a Chinese Walmart.

As I wandered around the store, I noticed that my right foot was a little uncomfortable and kept hearing squeaking noises when I stepped down on the heel. So knelt over to examine my shoe.

To my surprise, I discovered that I was wearing different colored shoes! My left foot had my normal brown Bostonians, but my right foot had on my black Bostonians. I couldn't believe it. I leave an older pair of black shoes at work for winter use (so I can wear boots to work), I guess I must have switched them at some point during the day and put on the wrong shoes when I left work!

I was totally embarrassed, but it was pretty funny so I showed my wife she laughed at me. It also dawned on me that I'd have to go to work again wearing the same shoes, different colored shoes, on the GO Train and through the downtown core.

LOL!

Memories in a box

My wife and I have been spending around 30-40 minutes each night in our basement, going through boxes, throwing things out, and especially, being reminded of old keepsakes.

There was one boxes full of my notes, from university. Most of them looked entirely foreign to me. Even the handwriting didn't look like mine, and you can forget about the math -- that stuff looked like it was written in a different language. There was another box full of old pictures, Christmas cards, Birthday cards, and several handbooks which I found quite amusing.

During my teenage years I never really understood why Teen's Conference was considered a "Meat Market". I even remember a young Kevin Lai in a skit standing at the edge of the stage waving a large cleaver. I didn't understand that. I guess in those days I was too innocent about what was going on around me.

As I looked through some of my old TC handbooks, I quickly realized that there may have been a lot more going on than I had ever realized at the time. For one thing, not a lot of comments from boys, but a ton from girls. I guess at that age girls were a lot more chatty.

Secondly I was surprised to see the number of girls who left their phone number, so that, um, we could discuss sermons?

Also, instead of comments you might expect like "gee, we sure had a lot of fun, huh?", I saw comments like "I hope you remember me" and "xxxoooxxx". How bizarre..

We still have tons of boxes so I'm sure I'll have more funny stories to share. I threw out all my notes but some of the handbooks/birthday cards I couldn't help but keep.

Good times.

The goal

There haven't been a lot, but I can remember some pretty great moments in sports over my lifetime. Like the time when Joe Carter hit the game winning homerun to win the World Series for the Toronto Blue Jays 17 years ago. Or the spectacular catch by David Tyree off his helmet to make a crucial first down for the New York Giants, who then went on to win the Superbowl. Donovan Bailey's gold medal winning 9.84 second 100M run which was slowed by the fact that he raised his arm at the end.

Yesterday topped all of those.

My wife and I watched the Canada-USA hockey Olympic gold medal final together, just the two of us. We had invited others but they were either unable to make it or chose to go elsewhere for maybe a bigger party or whatever. I think it would have been more fun with more people, but what can you do.

I can't remember a more exciting game in my life. To me, I would have been happier to see Team Canada finish 4th by losing to the Slovakians than to lose to the Americans. It was so intense that both my wife and I were exhausted by the time we had finished watching the first two periods. Emotionally we were completely drained.

I was thinking about how destiny works, how God selects certain people in this world to do amazing things. Sidney Crosby had been somewhat ridiculed because he hadn't scored anything in several games, even though he was supposed to be the best player we had. Meanwhile Crosby was probably just playing like he always plays, creating opportunities, handling and battling for the puck, constantly being harrassed by 1-2 opponents, also not knowing himself when he'll be able to affect the game in some shape where everyone would notice.

And then there it was, he battled for the puck the corner, left it back for Jerome Iginla and then skated unobstructed for once, towards the net, and then called for it and slid the puck into the net. It seemed so innocent, not like the many other huge scoring chances.

Back home, my wife and I went absolutely nuts. We danced in front of the TV, shouted, we jumped up and down, we hugged, we hugged while jumping up and down (this is no easy task) and then we ran around the living room cheering.

Greatest hockey game ever.

I Believe

Lately I can't seem to stop humming the "I Believe" Olympic song. I've seen newspaper articles, blog posts, and people in general complaining about this song but I don't get it. It's a great song and it's got such a catchy tune. I love it!

Yesterday afternoon my wife had an eye appointment with a specialist because she had a hole in her eye. We actually weren't sure if the procedure would be performed right away or if it was just a check-up to ensure the diagnosis was correct. They'd have to dilate her pupils prior to any examination, so we knew she'd need a ride home.

Since the appointment was at Sunnybrook I had originally planned to take the day off so I could take here there and drive her home, but in the end her mom volunteered since it was closer for her. So the plan was to have dinner at her parents' house after the appointment/procedure.

Anything dealing with eyes makes me extremely nervous. Eyes are so important, and you've only got 2 of them. It's not like kidneys where you can survive with one. You need both eyes. When I was little I had this nightmare where my dad's eyes were expanding and stretching and he was in a lot of pain, I remember waking up in a fright and running over to my parents' room and hugging my dad.

So there I was sitting in the living room at my in-laws' house talking about Team Canada's chances against Russia with my father-in-law, when he received a call on his cell. It was my wife on the phone and they talked for a few seconds and dad passed me the phone. She told me that they had done the procedure and that it was all finished, the hole had been lasered and she could feel where her brain had been fried. Even if she was joking I was scared by that. I asked if she was feeling okay and she was.

For the next 30 minutes or so I sat their anxiously awaiting my wife to come home, while trying my best to have various coherent conversations with my father in law. Finally when I heard the garage door opening, I sprung up from the couch and waited at the door for her to come in. When she finally appeared I flung my arms around her and held on for as long as I could while she tried to wiggle her way out.

Dinner was great, the food was excellent as usual. There was only a moment of panic when the food was set on the table and I didn't see any rice. It's strange but as I've gotten older I've discovered that I really, really, like plain rice. Eventually mom-in-law brought out the rice and I immediately reached out to get some.

My in-laws have this tiny 12" TV in their kitchen and while we ate we were huddled around it to watch the first 5-10 minutes of the Canada-Russia men's hockey game. Games like these are absolutely great because the whole family is there cheering for the same team.

I had a friend text me from Vancouver to tell me he was in the arena watching from section 114, which sound like pretty great seats. I'm sure my friend had a great time, but to me, you can't really beat watching the game with family, there's no way to compare that with anything else. Plus he probably paid about $300 for those seats. There's just no way I would trade sitting with family (with all of whom are cheering and whooping it up), even on a tiny TV, for great seats amongst a bunch of strangers. There's just no way.

Foody Mart

I just noticed that I've been writing these blogs a day later and putting today's date instead of yesterdays, even though I've been blogging about yesterdays events.

Yesterday my wife and I sat on the train on the way home realizing we had no food left and the fridge was empty, save for maybe 1 portion of Indian leftovers. We were faced with either trying to scrounge around the house for whatever morsels we could find (usually junk food), go out to eat (she wanted to go to Shabu Shabu), or go grocery shopping for the first time in about a month.

As we often do when we're trying to make a decision, the conversation ended with my wife saying "you decide".

So as we left the train station parking lot I headed east to try out the Foody Mart which opened several months ago but we've never been to because the parking lot is always jammed packed. I'd heard some good things about the Foody Mart -- good prices, good produce, etc, lots of choice and people said it was as good as a T&T Supermarket.

As it turns out it's BETTER. The nearest T&T is *always* packed but this Foody Mart parking was decent on a Tuesday night. Plus it had just about everything, and it was significantly cheaper than the alternative Sobey's which we often shop at because it's so close to where we live. The produce section was huge, and the prices were unbelievably cheaper. For example Sobey's has broccoli crowns for $1.49/lb. Foody had it for $0.69.lb. That's one crazy discount. They had a lot of variety of vegetables that you don't always see at regular supermarkets.

There was an old white man asking around for kale, and looking really frustrated because from what I could tell none of the people working there knew what kale was. As he walked off angrily, I turned to another lady nearby who had overheard the commotion and told her kale isn't exactly a popular vegetable for asians. That being said it's a mental note for the next time I need to buy kale, which is more often than you might think.

Foody Mart had all kinds of goodies, including a whole section for noodles from all over the world. We were particularly happy to find those little bundles of noodles that Shabu Shabu usually provide for your hotpot. They also had the multi-colored "brick" of fish that you can cut into slices, also for hotpot. We bought some enoki and sliced lamb to complete everything we'd need for dinner.

We were able to re-create the Shabu Shabu meal at home, for much less money!

February 23, 2010

Yesterday on the drive home from work, I felt like I had something in my pocket that wasn't sitting the right way, making my "space" very uncomfortable. For those who kept up back in the day, I had been using the All-Ett Billfold wallet which is famous for a reduced thickness thereby keeping the wallet bulge to a minimum.

Ever since we got back from vacation 3 weeks ago, where I stopped carrying a wallet at all for fear of getting robbed, I had grown accustomed to not wearing a wallet. So I got this case that I've been using to carry limited amount of cards and a few folded up bills. Anyway, it's been pretty convenient but it does often get in the way of my keys, which are also in that same pocket. So sometimes the keys jab into my leg if the case is sitting the wrong way.

Usually I'll prop myself up and pull my pants down/outward to clear up the "wedge" area and give myself more breathing room. This time it just wasn't working. I thought maybe it was because I had to clear the snow off my car, and in my haste maybe my pants had been shifted one way and that was now making me uncomfortable.

Traffic was stop and go, (mostly stop) due to the 10-15cm of snow falling from the sky at the time.

People always drive so slow in the snow, I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I noticed the next day someone must have thought I was going slow without checking his speedometer. I was going 80 in a 60 zone and he zoomed right past me on the right lane. Maybe he had to go pee..

Anyway, so there I was stuck in traffic, trying to adjust my pants. I tried all the tricks that any guy would try, making sure any tucked in garments were out, shifting my underwear so that it wasn't within the sealed off belt tightened area. Twisted left and right, pulling outwards to leave crotch area aired out. Nothing was working.

Finally there was a red light so I put the car to brake. Fortunately with the snow and the heat, most of the windows were fogged up except for the front where I had my defrost thing going on. I took off my seatbelt, and then un-did my belt, expecting some relief. However there was none as it was still as tight as before.

I looked around to make sure no one could see me, and I undid the top bottom of the pants. That felt pretty good, but I needed more room. So slowly, I started zipping down. Each little tooth of the zipper felt great as they were released one by one, until finally, AAAHHHH.. that felt sooo good.

Then the light turned green so I quickly buckled up my seatbelt and put the car back into drive, and continued my drive home.

February 22, 2010

I have not cooked in about 3 weeks.

Three weeks ago my wife and I went on a cruise to the southern areas of the Caribbean. It was an awesome cruise. I would post some pictures, but in all honesty we rarely take pictures anymore. I think it has something to do with the hassle of carrying around a camera, and then the added hassle of asking people to take our camera and take a picture for us. We take mental photos now :)

When we got back, we hosted a Superbowl party and there were so many leftovers, that the food lasted us an entire week. Pizza, chicken wings, chips and dips!

The following week was Chinese New Year. We went to my in-law's for dinner along with my parents, and my mother-in-law cooked up a 10 course meal. There were so many leftovers, so we took a good 2 days worth of food home. That was on Saturday. On Sunday my own parents came over to our house and we made dumplings from scratch. That was a lot of fun. Note to self for future reference -- don't use lean ground pork. Use the fattiest stuff you can find.. it makes juicier dumplings. Anyway, once again there were tons of leftovers, another 2-3 days worth of dumplings, both boiled and fried. Mmmmm..

Fast forward to this past Friday where we ended up ordering takeout Indian food from Ambiyan, a place we discovered a months ago. They have 2 person special that comes out to around $50 after delivery costs, but is usually enough for 2-3 meals. You can order 2 meat dishes, 1 veggie dish and they give you two naans and rice in that package.

So yea, I haven't cooked in about 3 weeks.

What makes a blog a blog

When I first started this blog 9 or 10 years ago, it started as a journal. I wrote about my day-to-day activities, sharing about things I did, things I saw, things I was thinking about.

As the years went by the blog evolved. I had regular readers and I felt the need to enhance their experience by voicing opinions, making statements, talking about current events. It went away from events in my life to topical content. The frequency of posts began to rely on my mood. For example if I had a strong opinion on something, or maybe I was trying to get a rise out of my readers, or if I was trying to prove a point.

More and more I felt the need to appease my readers rather than just write the blog as a simple web log. Often I'd critique my own posts, pouring hours upon hours on a single post trying to perfect the grammar, and making sure each of my points were concrete, or making sure they were funny enough, or passed some kind of grade before I'd publish. I found more and more unfinished posts left in draft because I didn't think they were post-worthy. Soon, I was posting once a week, or less, once a month or less.

I was looking back today and also reflecting on whether or not other mediums have affected blog writing. Have applications like Twitter, Facebook and Buzz ultimately changed the blogging landscape?

The more I thought about it, the more I realize that blogs have their own niche on the information highway. Blogs tell the entire story. Not instances in time, not little updates or links to share, but the entire journey, from beginning to end.

It's this realization that I've decided it may be worth taking this up again. However infrequent my posts may be, I hope to once again tell a story.

Team Coocoo

With the economy being the way it is, the jobless rate soaring and poverty at its peak, I can't understand why Conan O'Brien is being celebrated for, basically, crying like a baby.

Athletes who whine and ask to be traded are frowned upon. Dany Heatley in hockey, or Jay Cutler in football, or Allen Iverson in basketball are people who were unhappy with their job situation and asked to be traded or released. How is that any different from Conan O'Brien's situation? Whining because of a time slot? If the wave and support of "Team COCO" gives any indication, Conan could have his show air at 4am and people would still be watching.

I found his letter to NBC pretty embarrassing and revealing of his massive ego. Here is a guy making hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of dollars with quite possibly one of the cushiest jobs in the world. He's not saving the world, people. He's not raising money for charity, or helping people. He's the host of a talk show that celebrates Hollywood, of all things, and who happens to be good at making fun of other people, including himself. That's all. His noted accomplishments are:

1. Making people laugh.
(list over)

It's time to move on from this.

Weekend summary

Okay, so somehow I managed to pick every losing team.

I thought that Baltimore ended up doing exactly what they needed to beat the New England Patriots. They took it to Brady and Brady faltered because of the wuss that he is. They went right at him, I think Ray Lewis sacked him in the first quarter, and they never let up. The Ravens attacked and attacked, and then handed the ball to their running game. The Pats D couldn't stop the run, and so the Ravens were in control from start to finish. They completely dominated the game.

In the Jets Bengals game, the defense for the Jets made all the difference. Cincinnati's offense was exposed as a one trick pony on air (Palmer to Ocho couldn't click because of Revis), and well, Benson had a monster game but they couldn't keep using him because they were playing from behind. I don't expect the Jets to get very far in these playoffs, but they can upset teams because of their disrupting defense.

The Dallas-Philly game was a total disappointment. Two teams who have so much history faced eachother for the 3rd time this season and one simply did not show up. I thought this would be a shootout but it McNabb didn't show up to the game and as a result, Philly was absolutely destroyed in this game. Dallas has a pretty good team, next week against Minnesota should be exciting.

Finally, the best game of the weekend was Green Bay vs Arizona. Most experts picked Green Bay to take this one and as we've seen time and time again, when Arizona is the underdog somehow they scrape it out. The game went back and forth with the Cards taking the early lead but after neither defense could do anything the game was eventually 45-45. I have to say though, the final play of the game was pretty disappointing with Rodgers having the ball stripped from him and giving up a TD.

For once, a playoff game ending where the team who won the overtime coin toss didn't win the game.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

NFL Playoffs! This is it.. here are the matchups for Wildcard Weekend:

AFC:

Baltimore @ New England

Everyone is picking New England for this one and I will have to agree. They are just a better team and it's Tom Brady in January.. about as clutch as one can possibly get. That being said, if Ray Lewis can get his hands on Brady early in the game, that could change everything. Brady a tough guy he is not.

New York Jets @ Cincinnati

This game could go either way but I'm picking Cincinatti based on the fact that they are at home and they'll be motivated to win their first playoff game in about 2 decades.

NFC:

Philadelphia @ Dallas

I'm picking Philly. For some reason I just think Donovan McNabb will figure this out (they've lost to Dallas twice this season).

Green Bay @ Arizona

Green Bay will win this one.

Devin Hester's butt

The highlight in an otherwise regrettable game by the Chicago Bears.

The Twitter edition #1

I have several partially written posts dated all the way back to June, which I never could post because it wouldn't feel right to post unfinished work. And looking back in my list of drafts I've got unfinished posts dating back to 2004. I got this idea from another blogger who recently posted a bunch of his backdated thoughts.

So without further adieu, I'd like to do the same, while adding a little spin -- I present to you In The Blink Of An Eye's inaugural Twitter edition:

(06/29/2009) ebrian: I'm often asked about my thoughts on the garbage strike for the City of Toronto. I tell people that I support what they're doing, but I'd r

(07/24/2009) ebrian: It's come to my attention that the left lane is no longer the faster lane on Toronto roads. It has officially become the "I refuse to go fa

(08/10/2009) ebrian: Why is it always the fat people who take the elevator to go up (or down) 1 floor? Take the friggin' stairs, you need it! Over the past yea

(08/22/2009) ebrian: My wife and I have been having BBQs on almost available Saturday since we moved into our new home. We usually invite 6-8 people to keep the

(09/02/2009) ebrian: NFL Football is about to begin, and I'd like to make my annual predictions for the upcoming season. I think the Superbowl Champs will be th

Myths about preaching

I found this article recently and found it pretty insightful. It talks about the 3 myths of preaching. I'm no preacher, but I still found it interesting to think about.

1) If You Preach a Good Sermon the Church Will Grow

I definitely agree with this one because our church has grown significantly over the past 2-3 years and I haven't noticed anything different in the sermons. If anything I've noticed the sermons have been getting worse; which was part of the reason why this past summer my wife and I decided to go and try some other church, although in the end we went back to the original one. Our beef was that some of our preachers don't necessarily use the bible it its correct context, but rather choosing to cherry pick verses in order to make point stand out. Which is bad, of course, but not bad enough to make us leave and start an entirely new community, etc.

2) Who You Preach To is Who You Will Reach

This one I wholeheartedly agree on. When I was younger I used to invite my friends to church because I knew they were talking about certain topics that might interest a non-believer, or maybe it was a message I thought my friend needed to hear. 9 times out of 10 they were offended and never came back. A great example of this is inviting your atheist friend when you know an apologist was going to speak. That's pretty much the LAST way you want your friend to learn about Christianity.

3) The Goal of Preaching is to Make the Bible Relevant

I was talking to a co-worker yesterday about favorite movies, and he said he like Casablanca the best. I couldn't understand because I've seen it a couple of times and I've never enjoyed it. I asked him to explain himself, and he said it was because every line in the movie was still relevant today as much as it was 40 years ago. And the other thing was even though he'd seen the movie 20 times, every time he saw it, he would discover something new.

I think that's the perfect way to describe the bible. Every scripture and every verse is relevant even centuries after it was written. Everything that Jesus spoke about and taught still applies today. And every time you read the bible, there's something new to be learned.

So in that sense I understand what the guy is saying here. You don't need to make the bible relevant because it already is relevant.

Perhaps what I find most frustrating about preaching today is that the preacher is too afraid to step on anyone's toes. They're afraid to offer the extremes, even if it is the truth. When the bible says we should sell everything and follow Jesus, the preacher simply turns it aside as metaphor and a "worldly goods / materialism" sermon follows. But is that really what Jesus is saying?

The simple truth is difficult to preach because often you're afraid to offend, or you don't want to look like a hypocrite, or perhaps you're simply not ready to face that truth yourself so how can you ask your congregation to do the same.

The Grill Express

My wife and I attended a wedding this past weekend in Ottawa. It was about the most fun I've ever had at a wedding, and certainly one of the best weddings out of many weddings we've been to this year. (Congrats Ben & Erin!) In part I think it was because I felt closer to (the groom) than any other of the wedding participants I've attended this year. And the other part was it being in Ottawa -- a chance to see the many friends I had gotten to know 10 years ago when I lived there -- many people who to this day I consider to be some of the best people I've ever known.

Being in Ottawa made me think about all the memories I had there, and had me reminiscing about "the good ol' days". During that time I met this guy, a very passionate person and all he ever talked about, at least when I first met him, was a device called "The Grill Express". His name was Lon Wong.

He would talk about this mythical Grill Express like it was some kind of super appliance to end all other appliances. If I recall it was a pre-George Foreman grill, better than all of its predecessors. It was supposed to be able to grill almost any fresh food in under 4 minutes, while sealing in all the flavors. It just happened that around that time Lon discovered someone selling their Grill Express on EBay, and of course he had to have it. As the shipping date neared, I could see in his eyes that he was about fulfill one of his many lifelong dreams.

After he finally received it, I heard very little about it. I was never invited over to try it out, and it seemed like I stopped hearing about it. We all did. It's as if it never existed. One day, and I believe this was Canada Day, 1999, another friend named Jason Chau and I drove over to this guy's house to hang out. It was this big yellow house that had at one point in time been used as a bordello. Lon was still in his room sleeping, so we wandered around the house to explore. We walked past into the kitchen and noticed something on the counter -- it was the Grill Express.

It really didn't look all that impressive. I remember thinking it was so small, how could you fit a meal in there other than for small children? Jason picked it up and tried to figure out how it worked, tried to open up the latch, and wouldn't you know it, a piece of it BROKE off. Jason and I looked at eachother and thought "OH NO!". Jason did the best he could to try to fix it while I watched to make sure Lon wasn't coming downstairs. We whispered as quietly as we could as we (two engineers) did our best to fix it. But it was to no avail. The part that had broken off was an integral piece that held the spring which then held the rest of it together, forming the "juice seal". We tried but it was no use. The Grill Express was done.

I have a picture somewhere of Jason giving Lon an apologetic hug, but somehow I think that Lon's Grill Express dream had died way before it had broken.

FAIL: Google makes GrandCentral useless

I've been using GrandCentral for little over 2 years now, a nice little forwarding service which allowed my parents and other US friends to call me for free in Canada. I had signed up for a Nevada number since my parents lived there at the time.

I remember showing off to friends that I had GrandCentral, whose access was strictly by invitation only, and invitations were extremely rare.

Google bought out GrandCentral and told that we'd have to migrate over to Google Voice. At first, things were great, I added my in-law's phone number, and after I got married I moved into my wife's condo and I was able to add that number too. Now my parents would be able to call me, my brother, or my in-laws.

My wife and I moved a couple of months ago, so I wanted to set up the new home phone number on my account so that friends could still reach me from the US. So I logged into "Google Voice". I went into settings, and tried to add my new number.

I got an error: "International numbers are not supported as forwarding phones."

Well, that can't be right because my account still shows the 3 other international numbers that are still being forwarded properly. So I tried updating one of the existing numbers -- the one from the place we had just moved out of. Same error.

FAIL.

More Bell awfulness

Just to follow up on Bell's awfulness:

The Rogers guy had just finished setting up our home phone so we called Bell to cancel the phone line at our old place (we moved into our new place this past weekend -- yay!).

So we call Bell.

We tell them we want to cancel the phone. We give them our phone number and tell them up front that we have moved and we have already signed up for a new service with Rogers so please don't try to sell us any deals because we have moved on. All we want to do is cancel the line.

BR has an accent, possibly Indian.

She asks us who we signed up with for our new phone. We say Rogers, and just to stick to her, we add that we got their internet, cable and wireless too. In your face!

BR tells us that she sees on our record that we've been Bell customers for a long time, and wants to know if we'd like to hear some deals. It's such a "shame" to lose our loyalty. My wife is adamant - we do not want to hear about your deals, we just want to cancel the phone.

BR understands, re-confirms that we signed up with Rogers, and just wants to know why we made the switch. We tell her it's because the last time we called them, it took 45 minutes to try to set up the phone line to begin with and it was so much trouble that we simply gave up because the Bell rep was so annoying.

BR laughs, and asks us where we moved. We tell her Markham, and she congratulates us on our new home, and then starts talking about how Bell serves a lot of people in Markham. My wife repeats that she has no interest in any offers, all we want to do is cancel the phone.

BR asks us if we were able to transfer our old phone number to the new one, because Bell can offer that service. Again, my wife reiterates -- all we want to do is cancel the phone. We don't care about the phone number. We already have a phone number.

BR asks for our new home "oddress". What's an oddress? We finally realize she's trying to say address. We tell BR there is no reason for Bell to know about our new address. BR says she needs to send us the final bill. We tell BR to send the bill to the original address.

My wife realizes what's happening because we're now 5-10 minutes into the call with no end in sight. So she clarifies things again, adamantly demanding that we want to cancel and we have no interest in your deals. None at all. Please, please stop -- we know you have a job to do but for goodness sake, just let us cancel our phone!

BR laughs annoyingly. Does she think this is funny? BR asks us for a contact number and my wife gives up her cell number. BR explains that it takes 2 days to cut off the line but you need to give a month's notice, so we will have to pay another month of service ($25). So.. the service gets cut off in two days, and we have to pay for another 28 days after. WTF? My wife and I look at eachother and shrug -- let's just get this over with.. what's another 25 bucks to rid ourselves of Bell?

BR goes over the final details. $25, with an additional $15 for forwarding service and asks if we have any other questions. Huh? Forwarding what? BR explains that once the phone is canceled, Bell will automatically forward our calls to the number we gave them. I'm looking at my wife and she looks pissed. No way, she says. We don't want the forwarding. BR asks what happens if someone tries to call? We don't care. We can't believe she just tried to sneak that in without even asking if we wanted it!

BR laughs again. Okay, okay. Just the $25. She confirms it and FINALLY, Bell phone is canceled.

Good riddance.

Night and Day

Our new house required a landline because of the security system, so my wife and I decided to get Bell to give us the bare minimum landline that money could buy. We hadn't actually decided what to do about internet yet, whether to go DSL or cable, and we had already decided to stick with Rogers for television.

I got into the Bell website and they had this home phone lite, bare minimum telephone service, which is all we needed. I used their call back service and to my surprise the second I click on Submit, my phone was ringing. So far so good. Turns out that was the highlight of the call.

This female Bell Rep (BR) answers the call and I tell her I need to set up basic phone service for my new house.

For the next hour, I am treated with the most annoying experience I have ever faced with any phone sales rep. BR asks me a few questions, like how much internet do I use. What shows I like to watch. I answer a few questions, but reiterate that all I want is basic telephone service.

BR decides that I will be very satisfied with one of their phone packages. She proceeds to tell me all about their most expensive plan. It's got a long distance package, call display, voicemail, etc. I repeat again, all I want is basic telephone service.

BR thinks I need Call Waiting. I tell her no. BR asks me what happens if someone calls me while I'm on the phone. I tell her they'll have to call me back, or call my cell phone. BR thinks it would be better if I had Call Waiting. I repeat again, all I want is basic telephone service.

BR thinks I need long distance. I tell her no. She points out that Oakville is considered long distance. I tell her I don't call long distance. She points out Brampton is long distance. Again, I do not use long distance. BR points out that for just $5.99/month, I can get 15 cents per minute long distance. I do a quick calculation, noting that this gives me 40 15-cent minutes of long distance. I tell her that I haven't even used 40 minutes for the whole entire year. BR thinks I might use long distance, and $5.99 is well worth it. I tell her I use Skype (not actually true), and Google Voice (true). She says we'll discuss internet later. I repeat again, all I want is basic telephone service. BR gives up on the long distance.

BR believes I need voice mail. She says that if I'm away from home, I'll need it. I tell her this is why I have a cell phone. BR still thinks I need voice mail. I tell her no. BR asks what if I'm busy and I can't answer the phone? I tell her my phone has an answering machine. BR says Bell's voicemail allows you to call remotely and check your messages. I tell her that I rarely give out my landline and most people call my cellphone, which already has voicemail. (Also, I'm pretty sure my answering machine has a code that I can enter to check my messages.. I've never used it though.) BR gives up on the voice mail.

BR thinks I need some kind of maintenance package. You pay $6 per month and if your line ever breaks, and they will come in for free to fix it. Even if your phone breaks, they will come fix it (I think this is a lie, but anyway..). I tell her that I've been with Bell home phone for as long as I've been alive and I've never had a problem with my phone. She says that's great, but points out that if something does break, it will cost me $99 to have it repaired. I say no. BR gives up on the maintenance package.

Now BR thinks I need call display. Sometimes you're busy and you don't have time to pick up the phone, you can at least see who's calling. This way you'll know whether or not the call is important. I think about lying and saying my phone doesn't have a display, but then I think maybe that will prompt her to try to sell me a Bell phone, so instead I just say no. Once again, I repeat that all I want is basic telephone service.

Btw, I should mention that this whole time and beyond, whenever I said no she would give me at least 2 to 3 "Are you sure?". At this point I'm beginning to feel like I'm talking to Regis on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, like I need to say "No, FINAL ANSWER".

Finally, 45 minutes later, BR dejectedly confirms that I am only getting Home Phone Lite package. It's a $55 installation fee and comes out to around $30/month with all the access fees and taxes.

Next, BR brings up television. BR claims Bell has the most HD channels, however on the website they list 6 extra channels that I have never watched in my life. And they don't have internet. BR says Bell is absolutely the best HD experience. I look at the website and notice there is no sports channel in the basic package. In otherwords.. NEXT! I tell her that I would have to ask my wife (I figure she will understand this) if she is okay with a gaudy satellite sticking off the house. She gives up.

Next BR brings up the internet. At this point, I feel like I've won so I decide to let her have something so I let her explain to me my internet options. She asks me how much I use internet, and I say 4-5 hours per day. BR believes that I will be very satisfied with the ever popular Performance package. BR claims Bell has the best internet and also the cheapest offers. Performance is cheaper than the comparable Express package offered by Rogers. I look online and sure enough, it's cheaper. It's also slower.

Finally the jig is up, and I decide to close it all out. I am not interested in anything but the home phone service. Lite. BR is not too happy about this. BR brings up the bundles. BR will waive the home phone installation fee of $55, and the internet installation fee of $79, if I get them both today. I ask BR if I can get the home phone today, and sign up the internet on another day, will Bell credit me with the installation costs since I have indeed ordered two Bell services and therefore, am then bundled. BR says this is impossible. BR claims you can only bundle at the time of the initial call. (I have no way to confirm this, but I'm pretty sure it's a flat out lie.. it would make no sense at all if you couldn't bundle later on). BR's lie backfires. Seeing that I cannot bundle later on, I decide not to sign up for home phone either, until I can discuss with my wife about the internet. BR, realizing her mistake, asks a truly stupid and desperate question: How could a discussion with my wife change my final decision? I am about to ask BR if she is married, but I decide not to and tell her that I will have to call back later. Goodbye.

Later in the evening, my wife and I get on the phone and call Rogers. My wife's got Rogers wireless mobile so we can bundle it with Home Phone and it ends up being cheaper than Bell's Home Phone Lite. The Rogers rep is a guy (I don't know if this makes a difference, but all I can say is I felt way more at ease with this guy than the BR). 15 minutes later, we have set up the basic Rogers Home Phone (no setup fee), transferred our existing Rogers cable internet (no setup fee), transferred our HD television (no setup fee), and bundled it all together for an overall 15% discount. As a bonus when we were setting up the home phone, the Rogers guy tells us about a phone plan that wasn't even listed online (an older promotion) and he lets us sign up with that. It saves us an additional $6 per month.

I'm by no means a huge supporter of Rogers, but their customer service compared to Bell's? Wow. It's like night and day.

Archie chooses Veronica

I read in the news that the latest Archie comics had Archie proposing to Veronica. This is absolutely ludicrous in my opinion, why in the world would Archie pick Veronica over Betty?

This reminded me of grade 6 in Ms. Paul's class at Parkview Public School, when I was caught reading Archie comics, which I had hidden inside pretty much any textbook or novel that I could fit them into. Yes, that old cliche story of kids hiding comic books inside their books.. I actually tried it, and failed.

I remember getting into trouble for it, and then, I assume because Archie has a fairly "mature" theme, even if subtle, the teacher called my parents. I was fortunate; my mom picked up the phone and told me she wouldn't tell dad unless I got caught again. Saved me a few bruises for sure. Of course, the irony of all of it was that dad was the one who got me into Archie comics in the first place. He'd purchased one at an airport and given it to me when he got home. It was my first ever comic and I was hooked.

Anyway, on a *completely unrelated* note, I stumbled upon some Creed music today, and was listening to One Last Breath, and it kinda got me remembering about the *very* brief moments in my life when I was contemplating suicide. It's not so much that I was thinking about killing myself, but more about the idea of suicide. Because let's face it, I had a pretty good teenage life.

When you're a kid, or a teenager though, life just seems harder than it really is. Whether it be the peer pressure, or popularity (or lack their of), or just being unhappy with yourself hard not to have thought about suicide at some point. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think every person at some point thinks about his or her own death, and maybe half of those people have thought about how or what it would be like to do it to themselves. I'm pretty sure I remember having a pretty vivid imagination too, having drawn many very morbid pictures of people hanging themselves or shooting themselves in the face.

Anyway, back to the Archie thing. It's a big mistake. Maybe the Archie world has changed a lot over the past 20 years and I've missed something.. but from what I remember Archie is going down the wrong path. Betty was always the one who liked him for who he was. Veronica was the (albeit hotter) girl (with more money) who was always trying to change Archie, she was rich and stuck up.. and what about Reggie? Where's he? Will she cheat on Archie when he can't find a job and tries to just leech off her? And what about Jughead? Will Veronica be willing to put up with Jug's shenanigans?

I think not.

And the Oscar goes to..

After 5 seasons of LOST, I still don't know what the show is about.

I could not believe the drivel that was coming out of the mouths of the 4 judges on American Idol on Tuesday night. I truly believe their performance deserves an Oscar, in how they tried to say that everyone was good when in fact all 3 of them were only okay, if not bad. All in the name of boosting the ratings, I guess. They actually considered Adam Lambert's butchering of U2 and Aerosmith songs good, and thought he deserved to be in the final. Hearing Lambert shriek and scream as usual, and then have the judges applaud it has been mind boggling to say the least.

The only guy who can actually sing is Danny Gokey, but he was eliminated. You knew he was the next to go though, he was the last remnant of what was left of this so-called "singing competition" farce. It has been pretty obvious at this point that America (and the judges) had had enough of the actual singing part of this competition. I mean, let's be honest with ourselves -- if we were to rank the top 6 *singers* from this season, they would be:

1) Danny Gokey (eliminated)
2) Allison Iraheta (eliminated)
3) Anoop Desai (eliminated)
4) Lil Rounds (eliminated)
5) Adam Lambert
6) Kris Allen

But unfortunately this show isn't just about singing even though it pretends to be, which explains why Gokey lasted as long as he did. He had no chance once it was down to him, the Shrieker, and the pretty boy.

Speaking of which, there's Kris Allen. He's like the little engine that could, pretty much a complete longshot, the posterboy for this non-singing competition. Vocally he's in way over his head, but keeps plugging (strumming) away, selling his face and knowing (playing) his audience (young girls). He's like a poor man's Jason Mraz. But let's face it, in a year or so he'll be about as relevant as Justin Guarini.

This year's American Idol has been nothing but a disappointment.

I never thought I would say this, but if there is anything I have learned from this season of American Idol, it's that I've very likely lost touch with popular music and culture. I've reached that age in my life that I can no longer distinguish between what is "good" or "bad" in today's current music industry, and I put these terms in quotes because it's obviously extremely subjective. Perhaps it's also the same reason I think Twitter is a joke, and what's the deal with these kids connecting speakers to their cellphones and blasting music so the whole subway can hear? Am I wrong?