April 13, 2005

Always one step ahead

Do you ever feel like God is always one step ahead of you? I mean yea, He's God, why wouldn't He right? But still, sometimes I find it so frustrating. Every time I make a haste decision, or stick with a certain viewpoint, it seems like God puts me back in my place. And He always gives me time to reflect on it, almost like He's waiting for it. And then, BOOM! It dawns on me and I curse at myself for not seeing it. Another life lesson.

He's like a parent that every teenager dreams of having, the kid who says: "Dad, why can't you just let me learn from my own mistakes?". That's God.

This week's chapter in Seizing Your Divine Moment is called Advance. We *should* have done this chapter last week but we did a bible study on Prayer instead. Not that Prayer isn't a worthy topic either, it's just that the timing seems off for me.

The next day I went to MissionFest and got absolutely nothing out of it and came away disappointed that I didn't receive some kind of a sign. I had prayed basically that if God wanted me to go, that I would be presented with an opportunity, or that something would jump out at me and I go for it. But I got nothing out of the Fest, and went home somewhat dejected.

As I spoke to a friend about it, about how I tend base my decisions on emotion; so my contention was that since nothing happened, that perhaps God was telling me that my mission field is where I am. "Just stay home."

The first line in this chapter says "go unless you get a no". What bugs me is that I also read a bible study, while prepping for last Friday, that had a quote:

"God does not respond to our prayers. God responds to us: to our whole life. What we say to Him cannot be separated from what we think, feel, will and do. Prayer is communication from whole persons to the Wholeness, which is the living God. Prayer is misunderstood until we see it this way."

It's just sad that I didn't see this or remember it until today when I was reading the book. McManus writes: "many times when we claim we are waiting on God, He is waiting on us.". And therein lies the answers I've been searching for. It was just that kind of awakening where I thought to myself "Damnit Bri.. why did we read this last week?"

1 comment:

akt said...

No need for regret - it's not too late. Our God is a patient God.