May 22, 2003

Another day, another wakeup call at 5am. But the jokes' on you Dusty, cuz I slept at 9pm and still got enough sleep.

You must think wow, you have no life, but at least I can say I got a good night's sleep. I'm planning on writing a letter of apology to my boss today, to apologize for the last 2 weeks of unattentiveness, lowered productivity and all round laziness. Now that I have figured out a system of getting enough sleep, I hope to improve on my work and show that I am indeed a good worker and valuable to the team, because quite frankly, the last two weeks have not been so good in terms of my performance.

Blast this dog, I quite honestly hate him now. At exactly 4:55am this morning, I heard his little footsteps (he's got long nails) and I knew he was awake. Anyway second I knew that he would start whimpering. Alas, at exactly 4:57 he started, and he has not stopped since. It is now 5:08am. And he won't stop, until 7am when I feed him. What a ridiculous turn of events for me, living in this really nice place, every who comes over here tells me how lucky I am for having such a nice place, that i'm now "living the good life".

I would rather live in a cardboard box as long as there was some piece and quiet.

Elaine on Seinfeld once had a problem with a barking dog that kept her from sleeping. The only difference here is that it is OUR dog.

That said, I still do believe and realize that somehow this fits into God's plan. It certainly does test my patience, because at times I feel like I just want to run out to the where he is and beat him to death (I'm not joking), but so far I've been able to hold in this insane rage that builds up inside me every morning when he cries NON-STOP. It really pisses me off, but I hold it inside. So that is certainly a good 'training' activity. Second, it teaches me some discipline. I could well just go and feed him now, but I know that if I did that, then tomorrow he would wake up at 4am, and soon I would have to sleep as soon as I got home from work to get a good night's rest. So there, I am learning discipline, and also to fight temptation, and also patience.

Finally, my dad suggested that I now have a lot of time for devotions, and the truth is I haven't been doing them. Maybe this is God's way of punishing me for not doing devotions. I'm going to take my bible now, and go down to the lobby and read.

Good morning, all.

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