January 07, 2006

Chuck Norris

Lately, Chuck Norris has found his way on the internet, in the form of hilarious exaggerations about him that make him like this super bad-ass. They're an absolute riot. I've come across at least 40+ of these things, and I have shed many tears from laughter. Some of them are just so ridiculous!

Here's a few of my favorites:

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits."

"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist."

"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down."

"If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face."

"When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket."

"Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill."

"Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night."

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."

Hahaha.. Chuck Norris rocks!

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