March 10, 2004

It's back. That hollow ringing sound in my ear. I think I'll check my blood pressure at the Pharma Plus today.. HUGE demo this afternoon at work. All district engineering managers and supervisors, and the director too. The scary thing is I know half of them, and even scarier, they're all engineers. I think that has to be the most frightening thing, that they're all engineers and they'll be able to tell whether or not we're bullsh|tting them. Engineers are meticulous, after all I am one, so I know. Scary..

I miss my mom. And my brother too, and my dad. After reading about how Ina received a care package, with all kinds of goodies she missed from back home, it made me realize that I'm not really "home" either. I would trade all of this in -- this beautiful apartment, my car, my job, my independence -- for an hour of just hangin' out with my family. One round of Big2, or watch "Friends" with my mom, or watch a Leafs game with my dad. Even though this is where I grew up, I'm in a foreign place. How is moving off on your own different from your family moving off to another place? My best friend is gone, I can't get home cooking anymore, can't talk to my parents about stuff anymore (it's like this blog has replaced my brother and parents) and there's no one here to welcome me home after work. It's the same thing.. The same *damn* thing.

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