By now some of you have noticed the change in layout. This is not what I had in mind. In fact, I don't even know how it happened. If someone has hacked my account and figured out my blatantly obvious password * then I congratulate you * thank you for not changing my posts..

introject

Last week at Sunday school, I went to Kinson's class because there was a potential of it ending earlier than the other classes. Yes.. guilty as charged! But it actually turned out really good. It kind of confirmed some of the things that eBrian often ponders about.

I've always thought about ways to say things, to either completely insult someone, or ways to charm someone without making it like I was trying to do so. Or ways to convince someone to do something for me without saying so. Anyway, in class we learned about introject - to incorporate ionto one's own psyche unconsciously.

Such as, say you say to someone: "I like your shirt!"

That person could take it objectively, and say "thanks" and deep down, think: "mental note: this is a nice shirt".
Or that person could take it subjectively, and say "thanks" and deep down, think: "omg, i'm gonna burn this shirt"

Or if you said "Wow, you look fantastic today." One person may focus on the word "fantastic", but another person might focus on the word "today".

It's easy to laugh about things like this. As a child I would have been the second person. If someone said I had a nice shirt, and I would never wear that shirt again. Nowadays, I couldn't care less. Some might say that clothing and appearance is TOO far down my list of priorities. I've received complaints from friends that I didn't dress appropriately for various occasions.

I was just thinking to myself, how can I go and compliment someone without the fear that I completely insult them? How can I say something to someone without offending them, or internalizing what I said to them and hating me forever for saying it? Perhaps I can completely throw out the idea of making negative comments or observations. Yes, some people can take criticism, but some might bury it inside and end up jumping off a bridge 10 years down the road.

I'm not kidding.. this is serious stuff.

One idea I had was to constantly compliment people. If I did that, then I would be known for it and people would always know that I was being genuine and not malicious. But then I realized that if I did that to *everyone* and then missed out on some people, then THOSE people would be offended.

How about being brutally honest to everyone? I can just imagine standing in the middle of subway and getting everyone's attention:

"Hello everyone, I have an important announcement to make. You, you, you and you. You all have bad breath. You 3 over there should be wearing a lot more clothes. Cover yourselves up.. especially you! What are you, like 14?! Sir! Yes * you, the guy who is in dire need of a haircut * ever heard of deodorant? And Miss, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.. and your boyfriend over there, has not stopped ogling those half-naked teenagers over there since he got on the train. He's a pig, miss. A pig. I think you should leave him for me."

I can just imagine the bruises and cuts that would result in that sort of behavior. And the years and years of counselling and therapy I'd have to endure.

lost

So yea, I wrote the above at work inbetween stuff I had to do, kind of my downtime thoughts. But about halfway through the day I forgot all about it, and now I've completely lost my train of thought.

The idea that you can alter a word or two in a statement to another person and you can affect their deep psyche. It's just that sort of thing that makes me realize how important it is to think carefully before I say anything.

See, I can't even think of what to say next. Completely lost..

I watched Finding Neverland. I'll post up a review of it tomorrow.