I feel tired. Not like sleepy tired. Just tired of this. Not blogging.. just *this*.
I really wanted to jam because I felt like I need some sort of a release.. to let go of things and let the Spirit transcend over me and bring me peace. Sometimes you just *need* to jam. This was one of those nights.
Unfortunately it didn't happen due to the inclimate weather. Instead I spent most of the night on the phone and watching the all-star game (which was pretty entertaining btw). I discovered something today. When my cellphone battery is down to 3/4 bars of battery, it has approximately 1hr:15mins left of life. Also, it gets REALLY hot if I used it for more than 30 minutes.
I can't remember the last time I spent that long on the phone having a real conversation with someone. This whole Lent thing is driving me nuts, but it was really great to talk to a human being instead of staring at a bunch of text on a screen.
Basically what happened, is I did something that I pretty much set my mind on not doing. I did the opposite of what I would normally do and just went for it. I seized my divine moment!
It's kind of daunting, after seeing the amazing performance by today's worship team, the thought of me standing up there is both intimidating and scary. I'm not sure what came over me on Friday when Yee Lee called asking me about whether I was moving or not, and I just blurted out to her that I'd help her with worship, even though I had already told her that I wouldn't.
It's like.. something just took hold of me, wiped away my inhibitions and took over my body. And I said: "No, I am NOT moving, and by the way, I'm going to sing for you on Sunday." Who said that?! And even though I still had doubts seconds after I hung up the phone, I felt this reassurance (more like ridicule) coming from God, who was saying "What are you worried about?".
[At the end of the day] it's not about me.
If There's One Thing - Tim Hughes
You call us first to love Your name, to worship You
To please Your heart, Our one desire Oh Lord
If there’s one thing we are called to do
It's to love You, to adore You
We will bring our all and worship You
Bow before You, as we love You
Your honor Lord, Your name's renowned
We long to see
So let the glory of Your name be praised
I will celebrate this love
Jesus You are everything to me
Furthermore Lord what can I do?
I will give this heart, this life to You