[Setting: H&H Bagel Shop]
FRANK: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?
KRAMER: Well, just tell me everything, huh?
FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!
KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.

Today is Festivus. Happy Festivus everyone!