I read Luke 1 this morning, and then had it dictated to me using the Bible Gateway's "Listen to this" feature. I didn't really get anything out of the reading.

Lately I have been feeling depressed; unhappy, restless, sad, tired, frustrated. I find that whenever I'm down, I use comedy to try to bring myself back up. Like telling jokes, making people laugh. Hoping that the laughter is contagious and spreads back to me. And if you really listen closely you can tell -- it's a lot of cynical, sarcastic humor. And I've been critical of things I seriously couldn't care less about, trying to provoke frustration from others, being disagreeable.

So on one hand I tried to bounce laughter off others, while on the other hand I tried to spread my downness onto others. If I can't be happy, then make everyone else unhappy. It's selfish.

Life's full of up and downs, and this is just one of the downs. I think all I can do is ride this one out, aside from the usual stuff of praying, reading His word, and going out as much as possible so that I don't sit at home and think too much. Karen's mom told me the other day that I shouldn't let my grandparents stay home too much because it will make them think, which will make them go crazy. I think I'm going crazy..

I have no place I can go to, that will make it all go away..


Edit: Btw, I've decided to go church hopping for the months of July and August. T3C is going through the Purpose Driven Life (btw, if you're interested feel free to attend) and since I've already done it, I find this is the perfect opportunity for me to go off and try something else. And there are a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time and this would be a great opportunity to see them again.