So.. just finished Freedom Fighter. I'm really glad actually that I finished it, so that I wouldn't be sitting in front of the tv playing all weekend. And in some ways, I'd say that I hope I never do that again. I thought that after Lent my urge to play games would subside because I did so well not playing them during the Lent. But instead, I played approx 3-4 hours per night, back to my same ol' ways. It hasn't been pretty, I feel almost like it has been an addiction. I really have no feeling of satisfaction of finishing a game like I used to. It was more like going through the motions of finishing it.

While there were few moments of enjoyment, (I really appreciated the team play aspect of the game) I'd say that either this game really sucked, or that I've sort of outgrown the thrill of gaming. And yet, I still felt drawn to playing it. I didn't even practice guitar once all week!

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And here comes a really long post.

First of all, I'd just like to say that I did not speak even once through the whole small group discussion. Three reasons for this. The first reason, I was dead tired. Second reason, I read that chapter of the book 2 weeks ago and didn't remember anything from it. I know, I should have re-read it, but the truth is I misplaced the book and found it again just before the night began. Final reason was I was thinking about (the following) stuff.

This sort of stems from some topics that my small group discussed tonight. Plus other stuff that I've been recently challenged by and pondering.

From what I can gather, the world (or at least North America) is gradually shifting from what they call "traditional values" to a more liberal ideology. Whenever anyone uses the bible to try to condemn some of the current issues, people turn away almost in disgust because it's too traditional, too old-fashioned.

I cannot blame them really. Jesus came to earth 2000 years ago, and, even if non-believers were to just believe that Jesus did exist, it was still, 2000 years ago. People look at us and think we're conservatives. That's we're following this old religion that is out-dated and closed-minded.

Also, people are splitting spirituality from God, even though spirituality comes from God. This is new age thing, where people have found ways to make themselves feel like they're being spiritual, burning candles or incense, dieting, exercising, listening to certain types of music, etc. But it has nothing to do with God, and deep down all they are filling their empty voids with tools that affect their human emotion.

This void of course, is the whole in our hearts that God was meant to fill. But instead, people are filling this void temporarily with these various practices, along with other things that bring temporary fulfillment. Obsessions, it seems are the best way to describe it. Becoming obsessed with something temporary fills that void.

I wonder if, one day it will come to the point that "Christians" will come full circle and be the ones accused for being too liberal. That God will be so far removed from peoples' every day lives that the sheer mention of Him will be considered "cool"? I suppose this is a possibility, and if so, brings some positivity to all this nonsense.

Someone tonight expressed their disappointment with the world and society, how so-called real Christians have disappeared, they're too passive and not really outspoken. They aren't standing up to their beliefs.

In some ways this expression of thought really annoyed me, because I felt that if they think that we as Christians are not doing enough, they should first look at themselves. I really annoys me when people looking for answers won't look at themselves as the answer. It's like those people who complain about things but refuse to take matters into their own hands. What's that expression, "put up or shut up" ?

Worship
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One other topic we discussed tonight was worship, and whether or not some of us were getting anything out of the choir. They were saying basically that they were almost thinking of quitting because they weren't getting the sense that they were truly worshipping God and rather it was becoming more like a job.

And then discussion became broader, like, what is worship really? It's obviously not just singing. Prayer, meditation. That's it? I know, I should have spoken up but again, I cite the above 3 reasons in my defense. Someone mentioned something about sometimes not getting anything out of worship, and so it is not really worship.

When did worship get twisted around like that? Worship is for God. Worship is everything you do that pleases God. Worship comes hand in hand with the concept of pleasing God. Worship pleases God, and God made us so that we could worship Him. Thus, God made us so that we would please Him.

And thus, one shouldn't ask oneself whether or not they got anything out of their worship. The only question we should be asking is "God, did You get anything out of that?". And therefore when people say things like "man, worship really sucked today", or "service was kinda dead", you need to ask yourself, do you think God thought it sucked? Do you think God thought service was "dead"? Or were you just disappointed that you weren't emotionally touched by the music or the message?

If you've skipped over most of this post, at least read this:The purpose of Worship is to please God, not yourself.


Is God disappointed in us?
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I believe this question is a recursive question, and not meant to be answered by us, as humans.

What instigates disappointment? Disappointment is when an appointment is broken. It's when you expected one over another, but the another came through. Expectations and disappointments come as a pair. I think I've talked about this before..

Anyway, if God is disappointed in us, that would mean He had certain expectations of us. But God is all-knowing, which means He knows whether or not we are going to actually do what He expects. And that means that He won't expect anything more from us than He knows what we are going to do. And so, how can He ever be disappointed in us, if His expectations of us are those that we are going to do?

Make sense? Let's say I made a ball, and I made it so that it would bounce a certain height. I would expect that the ball would bounce that height. Now I know everything there is to know about this ball, so I know that it will never bounce higher than the height I set it to bounce at, no matter what. I made this ball to bounce that height. I am all-knowing of this ball and I know that this ball will never bounce higher or lower than the height I set it to bounce. So the ball, can never disappoint me.

Something interesting that I read the other day was a false perception, that when God looks at us, He sees all of our sins. The author makes the point that God may see us a sinners, but our sins were washed away have been washed away.



Well, it's 4 in the morning and I have lost my train of thought. Take care everyone!