Sometimes I start wondering whether I'm truly a Software Engineer, because of the line of work I am currently in. SEs were 'designed' to produce system critical software, life-critical software. Military, nuclear, or medical stuff. I mean, did I go through 4 years of he(ck), to do a job I where I could've gotten with a CS degree (i'm not dissing CS, i have many CS friends.. and there's just no comparison).

Then at work today, my boss asks me to work on a file that's being shared on a computer back at Metro Hall, and he mentioned he wanted to work on it too, and then all these thoughts popped into my head about mutexes and priority inversions, thoughts about the Mars Lander resurfaced, semaphores, priority inversion, . Haha.. I still got it..

Well, the NFL playoffs are all set. I have to admit I didn’t think the Jets had it in them to make such a huge turnaround this season plus eke their way into the playoffs. I remember when Herman Edwards went nuts on TV about winning and losing. Since then, his team has never really looked back, and has clawed their way to a respectable record and a shot at the Superbowl. I think the Packers have a real good shot this season. The only tough match-up will be playing the Bucs in Tampa. Other than that I see no reason why they can’t win it all. Hopefully it’ll be Rob Johnson, not Brad, under the helm for the Bucs.

Next week is Wild Card weekend. For the AFC, I’m picking the Jets over the Colts 31-14 and Steelers over the Browns 17-9. The Jets are making a strong run, they’ve tightened their defense in the past few games, and Pennington has played quite well. As much as I love Peyton Manning, Indy has no defense at all, and I just don’t see them as a threat at all in this game. The Browns got lucky by making the playoffs and I expect their luck to run out. It looks like Kelly Holcomb may start, which gives them a boost in offense, but I think the Steelers are too good. Look at what they did to the Bucs last week. I say 17-9, but it could easily be 27-9, just depending on how soon Cleveland’s D gives up.

For the NFC, I see the Favre leading the Pack over Vick’s Falcons in a shootout, ending at 31-27. Vick is going to be a great QB, and is already one of the league’s best, but I just don’t see anyone beating the Packers at home, in the playoffs, where they are unbeaten in the history of the franchise. Plus it’ll be cold at Lambeau, another deterrent for the Falcons, who normally play indoors in Atlanta. This is definitely the game of the week, especially for myself as a Packers fan. I think the Giants will bring the momentum they’ve built the last few games to pull an upset over the Niners in SF. I think it’ll be 17-10 in the end.

For the next round, I see no reason that the Raiders won’t completely annihilate the Jets. They are just a far superior team in every aspect. The interesting game will be the Titans against the Steelers. I will be cheering for the Steelers for the very reason that my brother likes the Titans, and it’ll make it more interesting to watch if we’re cheering for opposite teams. However, it won’t matter because the Raiders will beat either team regardless, in the following round. For the NFC, the big game will be my Packers against the Bucs in Tampa Bay. I am really hoping that Brad Johnson is PUP for this one, because no team led by Rob Johnson can win a game, no matter how good their defense is. Chances are it will be Brad though, since Jon Gruden is no Wade Phillips. In this case I think Favre’ll really have to dig deep to win this. I am so cheering for Favre in this game, but it’ll be a very close game. I think the Giants will beat the Eagles, ruining McNabb’s return to action. It’ll be Raiders vs. Packers/Bucs in the San Diego for the Super Bowl.

My mom never called me to confirm that she and my bro made it to Vegas safely. But my dad never called either, so I assume they are there now, safe, and just forgot to call me. Unless something happened to all 3 of them.

I had another terrorist dream. Well first it was some natural disaster. I was watching a space shuttle take-off. Some old guy was sitting near the bottom and was looking up at the big rockets. Everyone was yelling at him to move away, because when the rockets ignite, there's crazy fire. So he started running, but as he tried to leave the scene, the ground all around him started to blow up, like something was under the ground. Then hot gas came searing out from the ground, forcing the old guy back towards the base of the rockets. Then, the rockets fired, and all I heard was a blood-curdling scream, and then I woke up. Pretty scary..

The next dream was I was at a hospital. Then I saw all these army guys, only they were terrorists dressed up as army guys. They had these fire-proof barrels, and told each muslim person in the hospital to climb inside one. After each muslim person was safe, they ran outside, and they blew up the hospital to smithereens. Then I found out they had done this to all the hospitals in all of North America. I woke up after that.

I'm looking for a song.. it's called Holy Fire. It's not the one by Paul Wilbur though.. Anyone have the chords or lyrics to it would be most helpful. Thanks

Just a note to the readers on my opinion of talent. Being able to sing, that is talent, but for a musical artist, being able to sing to me is just a prerequisite of being able to do for a living. If you can't sing, you can't do what you do for a living, unless you sell yourself through means of sex. In that case you aren't a talent, just a pretty face (or muscular man, whatever). So what then is talent in the 'music' industry?

A standard piano has 7 octaves. Mariah can sing 5 of them. That is talent.
Being able to produce, co-produce, read/write music. That is talent.
If you can't WRITE music, then because you are just a plain ol' singer. Lyrics don't count, though if you had great lyrics it helps.
If you can play an instrument well, while singing well. That is talent.

If you can dance and sing, then that is half-talent. You can learn to dance, so it's not so much talent but a skill, but being able to sing well while dancing is not easy, so that is talent. Of course dancing has nothing to do with music, in my opinion. Dancing is just an MTV thing, if there were no music video's, no one would care if you could dance or not. In fact, the only reason I think these teeny boppers dance is because they'd look stupid just standing there singing, especially when they can't even sing that well. At least if they're dancing, they can use that as an excuse to not being able to sing well. Obviously singing is the most important thing.

Keeping in mind talent is all relative. We're talking about artists in the music industry so there's a certain level of expectation there:

Let's say there is a scoring system for talent level. Note this is just based on Talent. Obviously some people like artist who look better, or just simply don't like a particular style of music.

0-15 : Ability to sing
7.5 pts : Ability to write/produce/co-produce* own music
7.5 pts : Ability to play an instrument

So, someone like Eric Clapton would score 30/35. Not the greatest voice, but he is unbelievable on the 6-string, and writes his own stuff.
Mariah Carey would score 21/30. Alicia Keys, 30/30.. Alicia is really talented.. Songs in A minor was an awesome, awesome album, though not really 'pop'-ey, so probably didn't sell as well as it should have. Christina Aguilera gets 18/30. Britney Spears gets 10/30. Most bands (not groups) score perfect, because they've got singers, guitarist, and a drummer. They cover it all -- What they play is what you hear.

In a nutshell, that last sentence covers what I define as musical talent - What they play is what you hear. If they produced everything that you are hearing, not just the vocals, but the instrumentals, or the backup vocals, then THAT is talent.

*I'm not totally positive on this, but I think producing music is listening to and mixing samples, kinda like what Jermaine Dupri, or Sean Combs does. Well, sampling is probably more related to their genre of music, whereas someone like Jimmy Iovine just listens to the music he's given and then just picks what he likes. It sounds like a pretty cool job, but probably takes a tremendous amount of pressure, since they are hired to compile the best album possible, and are hired by the artists themselves.. so if the artist is able to produce their own stuff, that must also take a lot of work, because when you're sifting through your own stuff, it must be pretty hard to decide what is crap and what is good..

When I came home today from Pac.mall, I fully expected to run into issues with my new video card. I bought a Leadtek Winfast GeForce4 Ti4200. 128mb DDR ram, with video in and video out. It came out it just over 300 smackers. How weird was it then, when I plugged it in that nothing went wrong? I rebooted, a loaded up Warcraft 3 and boosted up all the settings -- smooth! It ran smooth. Exited, loaded up NBA Live 2003. Full, 100% max settings.. er, choppy.. 95% settings.. still choppy (argh).. 80% whoo! Smooth as silk! Wow, you can see the wrinkles around Lenny Wilken's eyes! You can see defined muscles.. biceps, triceps.. impressive!

So there you have it, there's a first for everything, and this was the first time I've installed hardware on my baby and not have anything go wrong. Loaded up the new detonator drivers and.... CRASH!!! Yes!! Life makes sense again!!

Does it take a long time to say, write a blog, or, write an email? I find it easier and much quicker than talking in person. It's just like ICQ, you can talk for hours and hours, but if you met the person face to face, it'd just be like "hey.." "hey.. whuts up" "not much" "me neither".

In the "olden" days, when you received a letter you would either call the person up to thank them for writing (well i did anyway), or write them a letter back. Now in the electronic age even moreso, of you get a letter in the mail from someone, you write them back, or call them to thank them. Why isn't it the same with email? Nowadays, with ICQ and all the other IMs, even getting emails is rare. So why is it I always get people coming up to me saying "hey, I got your email.. sorry I haven't replied I just haven't had the time". How long does it take? I mean in the first place, they won't call you because of a hectic schedule, or just they live too far away.. but an email does not take long. I'm sick and tired of this excuse. If you can't even so much as type up a quick reply, then obviously you had no intention of writing back.

Last night I met up with a few ottawa people down at Jack Astor's to celebrate of the girls' birthdays. It was good times.. I was really full by the end of it. I shared a lobster and crab dip with bassman, then had half of those delicious garlic breads (somehow it didn't taste as good as it use to.. maybe it was just my arteries screaming at my brain to tell me to stop!), a caesar salad, and terriyaki chicken. Why do I always make the mistake of ordering terriyaki at caucasian restaurants ? Well, it wasn't *that* bad this time. I was too full to finish.

After Astor's we went to DnB's, where I blew another $30 to play some casino games. The outcome: I traded in the tickets I won, plus the tickets I won from a year ago, the last time I was at DnB's, and I got one of those mini-rc cars! Pretty sweet!!! I was just playing with it, driving it around in my pool table, dodging balls, and avoiding pockets. It's a fantastic toy!!

Boxing day really sucked. I got up early to shovel the snow and the snowblower broke down. So I had to shovel most of the driveway myself, and it was packing snow, so that really sucked.. Eventually my lazy bro got up and came out to help me. We went to BestBuy so I could spend my gift certificate. Unfortunately though, Yorkdale mall is on the way to BestBuy, and so we were stuck in traffic for about 2 hours. And then when we finally got to BestBuy, there was a long long lineup just to get into the store, and there were no free parking spots. So we went home. On the way home, mom wanted to buy some milk, but all the grocery stores were closed. Sigh.

Dirrty
Having seen it happen before to Mariah Carey, I was pretty disappointed when I heard about Christina Aguilera's new Dirrty video. Seeing great talent being put to shame and wasted because of peer pressure and hip-hop culture really sucks, especially when nowadays there is so little real singing talent left. To say the least, I was not only disappointed in Aguilera's new video, but on top of that reading about her 'turnaround' in various magazines disappointed me even further.

I was a very big fan of Mariah and felt betrayed when she turned the hip-hop culture, turning her string of albums that produced hit after hit into pure trash. Mariah's latest album has a bit more of her older style which gives me a glimmer of hope that she might finally be 'growing up'. All that said, aside from the song Dirrty, Christina's album is actually quite good. All you CA fans out there, don't be discouraged by her one 'bad' song. Although she's made a drastic change in her public image, the talent is still in there somewhere! This album shows a total transformation in Aguilera, who was just considered one of the few actually talented singers in the teeny-bopper market. Now she mixes in rock, jazz, hip-hop.. these tracks are pretty good and contain a much more 'grown-up' style of music. There's everything here.. inspirational ballads, female power, failed relationships, anger, personal battles.

I must say I was totally throw off by all the hooplah surrounding the Dirrty video, but this album has definitely been a great surprise for me and I am glad to say I'm still a fan of her talents!

I was plannin' on trying to time this perfectly.. but quite frankly, i'm tired and I want to go to bed!

Merry Christmas everyone!

[Setting: H&H Bagel Shop]
FRANK: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?
KRAMER: Well, just tell me everything, huh?
FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!
KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.

Today is Festivus. Happy Festivus everyone!

The topic of "best coding music" came up a couple years ago among my classmates. We had a posting and a rankings listing on the old ecircles site we had. Well, the last couple of weeks I've been listening to Dookie - Green Day. An old, old album, but a great album. I remember when I was a teenager, when everyone either hated Green Day or loved them. I was one of those who loved them. Billie Joe, and Tre Cool.. and that other guy. They were great!

Anyway, as I was saying, the last few days this is all I've been listening to, while coding in VB. It's good stuff.. I highly recommend it!

This brings me to my latest quandry, being, does my phone count as a gadget/toy, or more of a necessity? Does it count as this months' gadgetry purchase, or not?

I needed the phone, in order to call CAA, so that we could start the car. In other times, I've needed to use other peoples' phones to make important phone calls. Well, now I won't need that. However the argument is I could have just gone down the street to a payphone.

Or, perhaps because I didn't buy the cheapest phone out there, then it might be considered a 'gadget', as a result? But I picked my phone using various online reviews, and I targetted phones with the best RF reception and sound quality. I didn't get a tiny phone, or a super slim phone either. Well sure it glows a cool blue tint, but most phones nowadays do that anyway.

And here's another thing. My brother and I plan on trading in all our N64 games and N64 system, and my Playstation and most of my Playstation games, in order to get some store credit at EB (Electronic Boutique), so that we can get either an X-Box or a PS2. (If we get an X-box, i'll trade ALL my playstation games). If say all those trade-ins come in to about 75% of the cost of a new system, then does getting the new system count as a gadget, even when I'm only paying 25% of it?

Haha.

I got my cell phone finally, on Saturday. Yep.. I'm the last chinese guy you know who got a cell phone. Hehe. It took extremely long for them to activate my phone and set up my account. I must've stood there at the Telus booth for close to 2 hours. Right from the get-go I had problems. Like, when I picked which phone and told the lady I wanted to sign up, she asked me if I was even 18 yet, and if not I would need an adult to sign up for me. 18? EIGHTEEN ?!?!? Do I really look that young??

What's funny is after I finally got the phone, my mom and brother and I headed back to the car, whereupon we found that the key wouldn't turn in the ignition, so right away I had to use my new phone, to call CAA!

Genesis Christmas banquet was loads of fun. It was an airplane/flight theme, with us starting out lining up with our boarding passes, signing in, and getting assigned seats. I was starving though, and by the time it started, we were given really small salads to start with, so I went to some of the vacant tables and grabbed other peoples' salads (for the people who never showed). I ended up eating 3 salads before the main course finally arrived. During the salads, we sang Christmas carols.

The main course consisted of chicken, mashed potatoes, and vegetables (from frozen - carrots, corn, peas, beans). It was pretty good, except for the chicken which was hard as rock. Some of the other people at my table had really good chicken though. I guess I was just unlucky.

After the main course, or, around the middle of it as I was trying to chew through my chicken as quick as I could, the captain asked us to check under our seats for the barf bag. Inside each bag was instructions, for a murder-mystery game.

The game was pretty fun. They got everyone involved, which is like 40-50 people, so it was pretty well organized. Certain people were given longer lines than others. It was set up, I mean, you were assigned seats, so they knew who would get longer lines and who wouldn't have to do anything. I'm glad. Because I got nothing, so that was great. All I had to do was wear a flowery scarf, and act like a rich woman who didn't know what was going on. There was one person per table that would approximately the same roles, just with different lines. It was pretty entertaining, especially with some of the lines. Like for instance, the murder victim was a girl, but in the scripts, the victim kept being referred to as "he" or "him". So the actors kept having to change it, which was pretty funny.

In the end of it all, the story moved towards the mother of the victim being willing to forgive the murderer, just as God forgave us for our sins.

and what happened to my counter under sponsors??

who from St.Louis and Quebec are checking this site? do i know you? please respond! thanks.

one pint
One pint of beer is not a lot. I mean, it's basically one big cup, or mug. Back in the day I could take 2 pints, and then start getting a bit groggy. Yesterday we had a staff meeting with all 4 districts, and after work we headed out to Milwaukee's for some drinks. I ordered 1 pint of Moosehead's. Of course now that I think back, I was drinking on an empty stomach, and, my body hadn't been exposed to alcohol for months. Unless you count the ice wine last week.

Well it seems that 1 pint was enough for me. With my mind swimming I managed to grasp some bit of sense that I had enough, said goodbye to a bunch of 'colleagues' that I had just met, and left. Luckily it wasn't very cold as I wandered around downtown looking for the Telus store that I swore I saw close by before. But I couldn't find it, and I ended wandering all over and around Metro Hall, until I found my way back to the St.Andrew subway station.

There in the train, I fell asleep, waking up at Eglinton with a serious urge to relieve my bladder. With just a few more stops, maybe I could hold it until North York Centre? So I held on fast, struggling and moaning as the subway train stopped at York Mills and seemed to pause for an eternity before the door bells went off again. I closed my eyes, and finally, finally..

I stumbled up the steps and into Empress Walk, glancing wildly at the signs for where the heck those restrooms are?? Finally found them on the second floor, and ahhhhhh...

Needless to say, it was only one drink. By the time I got home I was completely sober, and shared my adventure with my mom. Ha, one pint. Sheesh.

The costumes and scenery for the Lion King were, in a word, amazing. Since I'd already seen the movie, the story was kind of boring, but they added in a lot of songs that weren't in the movie to keep it from being a total copy. Still, the costumes alone made the musical unbelievable!

Blessing
What a blessing.. Yesterday I left work at 11:30am, got picked up from the library and went with my mom and dad, to see my dad off at the aiport. With much reluctance I said my goodbyes, and I almost wept, but I held it in 8). Yeah, dad said Men don't cry as a joke to me earlier in the morning, and even then I almost started up. Haha.

Well, yesterday I signed up for PC banking. I got an account, and debit card. The cheques are in the mail. The guy said I might still get rejected for the credit card. If that happens, I'll cave in and go to Scotia during a lunch, get a Visa there, buy one item, pay it off, and close my account with Scotia (those bastards).

Anyway, when I got home I saw my dad's shoes, and his jacket! I ran upstairs to find him sitting in the front of the computer, cancelling all his reservations. As it turns out, he was rejected at immigration because he was missing a few papers. He's still leaving, today though. I thought it was such a blessing because this morning before I left for work my dad and I sat down and talked things over, a great man-to-man, father-to-son talk. It was much needed, and when we were done, I gave him a great big hug and that was that. Praise God!!

I'm in the North York office now. My boss was asked to take over the duties for another manager here in north york because the normal guy is sick, or on vacation (i'm not sure yet, still trying to find out.. not that it matters). Anyway, it's sorta neat, because I can wake up a full hour later than normal, since it's only a hop, skip and a jump away from my house.

The trouble with this place is there's no partitions, no cubicles. It's just an open space. Computers and drafting tables scattered all over the place, and not all facing the same direction. Well actually they are all facing the front (the reception area), except me, I'm facing the opposite direction. So if not for my HUGE 21" dual monitors, I would be looking right into the face of everyone, especially the guy who sits across from me.

The worst thing about this open-concept office is the phones. Doggone it, not a minute goes by that a phone doesn't go off, and it's very distracting. And what's worse is the work mentality in this office is nothing like at Metro Hall. Over there, people work all the time, socialize only during lunch breaks. Here, since it's open, people socialize all day long. People are rarely at their tables/desks to answer their phones, so it goes on, and on, and on. Ring-ring.. Ring-ring.. Ring-ring.. Ring-ring..

And so much for the 2x15 minute breaks and 1 hour lunch breaks. Over here it's the 2x30 minute breaks, or even 45 mins, and then 1 hour, but you'll see people cheat that too. They'll go 1.5 hours, or, goof around while their boss is on lunch, then when he gets back, they'll go for their lunch. So in essence, it's a 2+ hour lunch.

One thing I did notice though, was at around 2pm every day people finally settle down and get down to business. So from 2pm-4pm, people here are actually working. Not to point any fingers though, there are certainly some people here who put in a decent 5 hours of work.

Well, my break time is over.

On Sunday, we exchanged gifts in the morning before church. This years' gifts were all about thoughtfulness and practicalness. I got my mom a small herb growing kit and tickets this Thursday for the Lion King musical. She had tried and failed in growing herbs seedlings that she had bought from a nursery, so I knew she would like it. And everytime we saw the LK commercial on TV, she'd always said she wanted to see it some day. She got me a really cool cookbook for when I move out. It's totally illustrated from step to step and organized by the amount of time it takes to make. It's got all kinds of foods, salads, dishes, desserts. Inside the cookbook was also a gift certificate for BestBuy! Haha.. so I guess I will be going there at least a few more times..

My brother got me 2 playstation games, Gran Turismo 2, and Final Fantasy VII. I guess he got them from Electronic Boutique, cuz they were used.. But that doesn't matter.. most of the games we have are used. GT2 has multiplayer mode so he and I should be able to play together on (the real) Christmas Day. I got my brother a giant box of Jelly Belly's. 12-15 beans per flavor, with a total of 40 different flavors. We spent almost an hour after church sampling all the different flavors, and combo's. Jalepeno is really *really* spicy. I will never understand how they do it.. like the popcorn one, or the cherry champagne, how when you bite down to actually taste the bubbles like it's real champagne!

I bought my dad some relaxation CDs, to go with a cd/alarm clock he got from his co-workers as a farewell gift. I also got him a pair of slippers for home use in his new home in NV.

My mom gave my dad a Mont Blanc pen, one of those really nice ones. My brother got a new Seiko watch from my mom. My brother got my dad the mastercraft ScrewOut drill bits, the kind you use if the screw head has been stripped. And he got my mom a coffee/herb grinder. And my mom also got my dad some planes (wood planing, not an aircraft!) special for making violins.

It was kinda sad we had to do it all 10 days before Christmas day, but that's how it had to be. I think it marks an important stage in our family. Soon we'll part and go our separate ways..

moron
Have I always been this stupid? I just spent the last half hour trying to figure out why my cd player wouldn't work. I thought maybe the AC adaptor was too old and was broken, or maybe it was my cd player, which I haven't touched in 2 years. Anyway, it turns out that I'd forgotten to plug in the adaptor to the electrical outlet! SMACK!

With Christmas only 3 days away, I've been wracking my brain to find gifts for my parents and brother. I think I've got everything I need for both parents, but for my brother it's been a lot harder. Previously I've never given gifts at all, whether it was due to lack of funds, or that I had just finished exams (and being home for a whole week, was my gift). Just now I went down to the lobby of my building where they're having a charity gift sale and picked up a couple items. I expect to finish all my gift shopping by Saturday afternoon.

I don't know what to give my brother, so far I've gotten him a box of candy. I could get him video games, but my parents won't like that. Actually come to think of it they probably won't be very happy about the candy either. Hehe.

We're celebrating early since my dad'll be gone before the real Christmas date. I guess in a way I'm lucky we are celebrating early, otherwise I'd have to worry about lineups along with everyone else doing their last minute shopping.

Scotia
I do my banking, not by choice, with Scotiabank. The reason being, I had been with National Trust, but they were swallowed up by Scotia several years ago. NT was really good, they were pretty small, so they had very friendly people working there, and they had very competitive rates. I guess out of laziness I have stuck with Scotia.

One time I wanted to check with my branch to see my history because I think Mitel may have given me an extra paycheque by accident. So I went to the branch to get my transaction history.

Scotia: Can I help you?
Me: Yes, I'd like to check my transaction history from 7 months ago.
Scotia: Is it in your bankbook?
Me: No, if it was in my bankbook, I wouldn't be here asking for it now would I. I'd like to look at my account 7 months ago, because I think I might have been paid more than I should have.
Scotia: That's not so bad is it?
Me: No, but I need to check it so that I can report it in my income tax.
Scotia: Okay, I'll check it.
(1 minute passes)
Scotia: I'm sorry, I can't find it. I don't think it's in our computers.
Me: Don't banks keep years of history in their databases?
Scotia: I'm not sure, but it's on the computers, I don't think we keep anything that far back.
Me: It's only 7 months. I thought you guys kept transaction histories for 5-6 years.
Scotia: Well it's not on the computer so I guess not.

Right. A bank that doesn't keep data past 6 months? Another time, I was just depositing some money.

Scotia: You should think about transferring your money to another account, for better interest.
Me: Really?
Scotia: Yeah, right now your account is very low interest rates.
Me: Oh..
Scotia: Yeah, we have higher interest account that gives up to 2.5% interest, you should think about putting some money there.
Me: Really, why, that's almost as much as what ING is giving me!
Scotia: Sorry?
Me: Nothing.
Scotia: Well here's a pamphlet on our different accounts. You should really consider them, because you're getting close to nothing with your current account.
Me: Okay thanks.

I want to apply for a Visa so that I can start building a credit rating. In Ottawa, I argued back and forth to a Scotia representative about the merits of declining someone with no credit for a credit card. How do you build credit without credit, right? At the time I was especially frustrated because I went through TD's website and they approved my application immediately.

How can a bank that has none of my banking history accept my application, and then a bank that has 8 years of my banking history not accept me? (Keeping in mind i have never had less than $3k in my account at Scotia/NT). Does that make any sense at all??

Well, I never did keep the TD card, because I want to have my credit card the same as my banking, I think it's more convenient right?

This Monday I called Scotia again. I figured, now that I'm a full-time (not just an intern), since I own property (a condo), and have other investments*, that has to lend some kind of credibility to my application. Again, they tell me with no credit rating I cannot be approved.

*Sidenote: Nortel rocks! GOoooo.. nortel!

Scotia: Sorry, with no credit history we cannot grant you a credit card.
Me: How can gain some credit history if I don't first get a credit card?
Scotia: Sorry it's Scotia policy, we base our approvals solely on your credit history.
Me: Well, TD bank approved me, and they don't even have any history on me.
Scotia: So do you have credit then?
Me: No, I figured if TD could give me one, then surely you would be able to give me one. I have been banking with you for 8 years, shouldn't it be enough to just check my banking history?
Scotia: Well it's policy.
Me: Okay so what are my options then?
Scotia: You could go to the branch and talk to a representative there.
Me: No I can't do that, because I work from 9-5, and it closes at 5pm, and it is CLOSED on weekends too. How can I go talk to them if they're closed whenever I have time to see them? Can I call them?
Scotia: No for security reasons you can't apply for credit over the phone.
Me: What options do I have then?
Scotia: You can apply online..
Me: Will I be approved then, or will it still check my credit history?
Scotia: No, you will still be declined.
Me: So then that's not a very good option for me now, is it?!
Scotia: Well maybe you can call your branch.
Me: But I still can't go in anyway since they are closed by the time I get off work.
Me: My best option then is to transfer my money to better bank that has normal hours and will approve me without having credit history right?
Scotia: Well maybe you can arrange a meeting with your branch. Maybe you can arrange with them over the phone and meet with them later.

At this point I was thinking that this guy was just doing his job, so I let it go. You know the funny thing is I'm still stuck with Scotia, because I can't even find the time to go and close my account, unless I take an afternoon off. What a dumb institution. Mark my words.. stay away from Scotia bank.

Work has been pretty good lately. I'm re-learning UML again, doing flowcharts with Visio, stuff like that. There is nothing like learning new things while getting paid to do so. You don't even have to rush to read, you just read, and you get paid. You can read slow or fast, there's no rush.. not like there's an exam coming up in 2 hours =)

Today is my dad's last day at work. He'll be moving to Nevada in exactly a week now. It's kinda weird to think that in a weeks' time, I will be the man of the house. So much responsibility for a such an irresponsible person. It's like the blind leading the blind.. haha

I went to Best Buy on Saturday, last week. We kept getting so many BestBuy flyers in the mail, and watched so many BestBuy commercials, that finally my dad decided we should go to a BestBuy as a family trip! So Saturday night, we went. Haha.. imagine that, the Yao family on a family excursion, all the way to..... BestBuy.

Well, BestBuy turned out to be all hype. No one in the store was buying anything, just browsing and leaving. Who could blame them, the prices were terrible. Sure they have variety.. it's like a Costco of electronics. One might say a dream store for me and most guys (and some girls), but only for browsing. They should rename the place to BestBrowse. BestBuy is really a super-size electronics store. It's a one-stop browsing shop.

Well anyway, we must've spent 2 hours there just playing with everything they had. I played gamecube, xbox, ps2. I really am thinking about getting a ps2, but that'll have to be at earliest in February, since the cellphone is for this month, and probably a video card for January. Or, do i deserve two this month because it's Christmas? Or even 3, since the cell phone is sort of a necessity? Haha. I spent a good half hour on their drum set, it's an electronic one, much like the one in the arcades, only smaller and not as fun. But still, it had a game where you had to match what the computer played. It was pretty neat. It's missing the foot pedal. If they had one of those, I would've made it my December toy.

Olympus' new digital camera is cool except for one thing. When you look through the normal viewfinder (not the screen) you don't get clean air.. i mean, it's not wysiwyg through a lens, it's another mini-screen inside! Isn't that stupid??

Last night I had this crazy dream. I can't remember where I was standing, but anyway I was somewhere downtown, and I saw a huge airplane fly over top of me, it flew around a bit, then it sharply turned towards the SkyDome and exploded as it collided with it. There was fire everywhere, it was pretty realistic. Actually it was very realistic, because I was terrified and I didn't even wake up from the fear.

I think it was summer time because the explosion caused a lot of flooding and what not, and maybe the plane was atomic somehow because it was like city had suffered through an earthquake. And somehow no one died from it, no one had been in or near the SkyDome at the time of the attack. Also, the CN Tower went unscathed as well.

After that I remember looking out the window from my boss' office and seeing the CN Tower standing all by itself and the rubble around it where the Dome used to be. And everyone was wondering what was going to get hit next.

Well, that was my dream.. pretty weird.

So.. I gotta change my posts then. You know, I once met a guy named Brian Yao. Yeah you heard me, Brian Yao. Brian Yao.. what a name that is. I just love the sound of it. Brian Yao. Brian Yao. Brian Yao. Brian Yao. Brian Yao.

On a more serious note..
This blog, is like a diary of sorts. I don't think much about what I say, and I almost never hit the backspace key unless I've made a typo, and with typo I am referring to spelling errors or grammatical errors. Someone mentioned in my small group this past week that they keep a diary and that helps them to remember their prayer items, not to mention helping them to keep their thought clear at what needs to be prayed for. One of the things I remember most that was said during our bible study on prayer was how whenever we pray, our minds begin to wander, and in a lot of cases we start thinking about other things and forget we are even in prayer. I get angry and frustrated whenever this happens, I feel like slapping myself around, to force me to concentrate. For this reason, I sometimes like to pray aloud. It keeps me awake and keeps my mind focused on what I am saying to Him.

But in the bible study, we learned that usually these thoughts that are coming up probably are what we should be praying about. That, because our subconscious keeps bringing up these thoughts, they must be things we are deeply concerned about, and thus they should be addressed in our prayers. So really then, a diary isn't needed, because you don't have to organise your subconscious thoughts, in fact you probably can't. My advice is to sit there (or stand, whatever) close your eyes and try to clear your mind. I've found whenever someone tells me to try to clear my mind, I end up thinking of even more than if someone had told me just to close my eyes and do nothing. For every thought that comes up, pray about them. Don't even think about things that need to be prayed for, just think about anything. I believe that this activity will allow you to share with God everything that is on your mind. And what does it say in the bible, to open your hearts and give everything to Him?

Hmm.. I don't get this page anymore when i do a search on my name on google. :(

On a brighter note, I've really reduced my television time lately. As some may recall I had a pretty substantial daily listing of television shows that I just needed to watch. Well, it's definitely reduced drastically, although it might also be because of the Raptors and Leafs games..

Sundays
5pm: 7th Heaven, CTV
8pm: Simpsons, Global
9pm: Malcolm in the Middle, Global
9.5pm: Andy Richter, Fox
10pm: The Practice, CH

Mondays
8pm: Boston Public, Global

Tuesdays
8pm: Smallville, CityTV
9pm: Frasier, Global
9.5pm: Hidden Hills, Global

Wednesdays
8pm: Enterprise, CityTV
9pm: Fastlane, FOX

Thursdays
7.5pm: Friends, Global
8pm: Survivor, Global
9.5pm: Good Morning Miami, Global

Fridays
9pm: John Doe, FOX (i tape it, because of fellowship)

Saturdays
11am: Justice League, YTV

See, that's all, not a lot, and I only really catch the ones that are underlined, the rest are only if I have nothing else to do at all. This includes computer games, going out with friends, practicing guitar.

I think it's a popular belief that too much television is not healthy. I'd have to disagree. Anything else can lead to physical or mental anguish.

Sure, being social can lead to great friendships and friends. But it can also lead to airborne virii, like catching someone's flu or cold. Or, you could be hurt by something someone says to you. With TV, it can also be emotional, but since it's all fake anyway, it doesn't last. It's important to keep in mind that one should never start believing that TV is real. It's entertainment, nothing else. TV is indoors, so unless you watch it with people who are sick, you will likely never get sick. Oh, going out with friends also costs money. Since TV is already paid for, it's a lot cheaper. Besides, you could easily spend the monthly $40 cable charge in less than 2 weeks if you go out enough times with your friends. Only one drawback I can think of, something that TV cannot provide that going out with friends, is the possibility of meeting your future spouse. So with that, TV wins, 3-1.

Practicing guitar also wins out, I believe in that one and same category. The guitar is most certainly a 'social' musical instrument. Pull out your 6-string and start playing, and I can guarantee you, unless you are in a completely secluded place, people will come to you and either listen to you, give you money, or sing along. Being able to play a guitar may (or may not) lead you to your future spouse. But a TV can absolutely not.* Guitar playing leads to callouses on your fingers, which are not only painful to acquire, but even after that, it takes a long time before your callouses actually blend in to the rest of your fingers. Until then, they're very grotesque, they look as if you chew your fingers.

Now I know some smart-arse will say "But Brian, what about reading the Bible, or prayer? Surely those things are better than TV." Well, I can't argue with that. There is nothing more noble or righteous than reading the Bible or praying. I can't argue because it would go against everything I stand for. So how can I respond? Well I say to you now, I can do those things during commercials.

*Unless you've subscribed to one of those video dating services..

Despite my failures on the road, I've actually been looking into buying a car. Which is really silly when you think about it. But I certainly will need a car when the time comes. I can't just rely on the Better Way. The Rocket can't get me everywhere I need to go. As for work, it gets me where I need to go, but it's a rather big pain taking the bus to church. Especially on the weekends, their services aren't too prompt during days..

I am looking to buy a mid-size to smaller-end car. I would prefer 4-door, and definitely automatic. As a very lazy person I cannot think of any reason to buy a standard car. I prefer to have my right hand free to change the radio stations, or just rest. After all, I need that hand to be fresh for game playing. Also, why would I want to move my left leg at all during driving? It just seems silly to me, all so that you can drive faster and save some money on gas? Really, how much do you really save on gas in a one-year span with a manual car as compared to an automatic?

I really liked Die Another Day, the more i think about the story and action and all the cool gadgets, the more I think I really liked it. Man, that was a really cool movie..

I like the Sony Ericsson T206 cell phone. I think it looks pretty nifty, while not being the most expensive phone out there. It doesn't have a cool joystick, but i've heard that ti68 phone has serious issues with it, even though it has a nifty color screen and a nifty joystick. I'm looking into the Telus service as well as possibly SimPRO. I dunno how long simpro will be in business though, it's pretty small. Telus is good too, they'll definitely last, but they're pretty expensive right now on their monthly rates.

I am thinking to limit myself on 1 cool electronic/gadget per month. Since the Telus rates are kinda sucky right now I am thinking to delay it for a month, and get me the video card i've been eyeing since 2 months before i graduated.

Wooohooo! I just failed my road test!

Those 9 hours of sleep helped a lot. I mean, I was still startled when my alarm went off, but I was a lot fresher than yesterday. Yesterday, I almost fell asleep after lunch. But today, i was fully alert. I did all my work too, and I even finished the work that Mark gave me within only half a day! I was pretty satisfied with myself!

I have my G2 road test tomorrow afternoon. (yes, i'm really 24). I'm pretty nervous, even though the last time when i failed it, it was with a van and now i'm doing it with a tiny little corolla. Still, i've only driven that car 3 times, hopefully those 'refresher' lessons will pay dividends.. they sure costed me an arm and a leg! I need to pass now though, not like before. If I don't pass now, the next available tests I've heard are in February. And if I fail that one, then it's really crunch time. Since my contract expires in May, I would definitely have to pass the next test in May, because I would definitely need a license if my contract wasn't renewed with the City (i take the subway to work). Even worse, if I failed again in May, then I would be in big trouble, because the rest of my family will be gone before the next test date, which probably will be some time in August or September!

I haven't practiced guitar at all this week. I played every single day last week, sometimes twice a day, and most times 2-3 hours at a time. I always do this. My callouses build up, and then I stop for a long time and then the next time I play again, I have to build up those callouses all over again. I want to master the accompanyment (?) for Sound of Silence (simon and garfunkel). Hopefully then I can find someone willing to play the strumming part to perform with me next week in my guitar class. I suppose there's always next week.

I've decided that I'm finally going to get me one of those wireless telephones that almost everyone I know has. I have been looking at the different plans available, and the different phones available. Wow, I can't believe that some of my still unemployee pals can afford these things! You gotta pay for the phone, then the plan. And, on top of that you still have to spend even more to make it look nice, with all those flashing lights and colors? Why oh why?

Did I mentioned I watched the 10pm show? All alone? How weird is that? A bunch of people were supposed to show, but never did. I bought the ticket, and actually considered getting it refunded since it was such a late show, but then I ended up seeing anyway, which I'm glad since it was so good. I did however end up finding the girl who organized the whole night, though that was after the movie when I was coming back out.

I sort of do regret going though, because I didn't get to bed til 1am, which cut out 2 hours of my usual and much much needed sleep. Luckily today for lunch my dad took me out for lunch, and I scarfed down as much tea as possible to keep me awake for the rest of the day. This is why I'm hitting the sack now, 10pm. Good night all.

Madonna's new song is really cool.. reminds me of when i was little and used to listen to music while covering up my ears and opening them up again, back and forth. I watched Die Another Day last night. It was awesome. Pierce Brosnan is getting old though, I dunno how many more Bond movies he can do, but he was great in this one. The plot was pretty good, action was pretty much non-stop, and the Bond humor was great too. Halle Berry confirmed my suspicions of being a really poor actress once again. Twists and turns, explosions and comedy -- all good! I thought it was a little weird when Bond discovers that Halle's character is actually a man, which is kinda sick since they supposedly had sex together earlier. Oh sorry bout the spoiler... HAHA.. i can't believe I just did that! Oh well. Luckily, that never happened.

It was my first day at work today. I got up at 7am, (and also at 6am, 5am, 4am, etc) to go to work. Got on my best shirt and tie, dress pants and dress shoes. Gel'd up my hair and off I went to take the subway with my dad.

Work was good. Same guys as before when I worked in the summer, so we were already acquainted and right away they had some stuff for me to do. I had congregation a whole bunch of data, figure out what was redundant and form (or get ready to prepare) database schema's for a database that they wanted to me to create. It was good times, reminiscent of the good times at school when we had to figure out various ways to optimize a particular database. Good times indeed. I worked pretty much non-stop from 9:30am til 5pm, when I left. I really enjoyed doing the work. It was nice to get my brain juices flowing again. Now if only I can remember everything i learned in my dbms course..

I found out that my temp position was really a 6-month duration rather than the year that I was expecting, but no matter, a job's a job! :) Perhaps I'll be rejoining the ranks of unemployment in 6 months' time.. Tho this just gives me more motivation to prove to them that they need me for much longer! I report to this guy Mark, i'm the only person working directly for him. And he reports to the director (Gord), so i often end up communicating with the director directly. Plus it helps that his office is just across the hall from my cubicle.

Hmm.. what else. There aren't any young people around, as far as I can tell. So these will be lonely next 6 months.. The IT guy for our floor wasn't in today, so I didn't get a computer account or an email account set up. And the lady in charge of access cards was busy all day so I didn't get my Metro Hall security card either. Well, luckily my dad can get me past security. They often sell Krispy Kreme donuts right by the elevators for charity. I got a taste of one today, as Gord bought two boxes for the whole floor. Actually he also gave me his double cheesburger from McD's. I think there's a deal now, 2 for $3. I guess he couldn't finish both.. Lucky for me, cuz the puny sandwich my mom made me for lunch wasn't nearly enough!

Today the TTC had a sneak preview to their knew Sheppard subway line. My mom and I went down to take a look. It was open from noon to 2pm, and it was totally free. I was pretty impressed. We came late so we missed the big speech by Mayor Mel, and we also missed the free cake. But I got around 15 packs of gum, free samples from Excel. There are 5 new stations now, Bayview, Bessarion, Leslie, Don Mills. Each station has its own interesting design, and they're all very spacious, similar to some of the asian subway lines (Shanghai, Taiwan, Hong Kong). Totally luxurious compared to the current Yonge or Bloor lines.

The Bessarion station is completely useless. We got off this stop and took a look around above ground. There was nothing there, no 'main' attraction, just a bunch of plaza's, a Canadian Tire, and an IKEA. Who'd take the subway the subway to shop at stores like Cdn Tire or IKEA?? What a waste of tax payers' money.

Leslie came up around the NYGH, which is nice. Also, along the walls there are 54,000 different hand written tiles, saying "Sheppard & Leslie" on each tile.

Don Mills comes up at Fairview Mall. Very convenient for me..

Bayview had some really artistic paintings on the walls. They were really neat, there's one that's a pocket watch, but half of it is on a wall, and the rest is on the floor, stretched out. You have to stand at a certain spot in order to see the watch in it's proper form. There was also one of a ladder leaning against a wall. It only looks right if you're standing at the right spot. That was really neat!

I start work this coming Monday, at Metro Hall, downtown Toronto. My official position is called Application Technologist. From what I understand I'll immediately be working on a couple of Access/VB projects, one of them a continuation of some stuff I did for them a year ago (summer job). It's kind of exciting knowing that I get to upgrade my video card soon [grin].

Happiness is..

.. to know the Savior (living a life within His favor, having a change in my behavior, happiness is the Lord)
.. having loving parents (and brother)
.. having friends who care about you
.. having a job*
.. being with someone you love
.. being full (loosen up that belt!)
.. being married with children (not the show!!)
.. a warm gun? (Beattles)

*Well, I can finally cross that one out. The 7-month wait is finally over.

Hmm.. Given the opportunity to think about the future today. I think I might be moving out next year. Not out of the country, just out of my house. I was hinted that today when my parents were talking (or joking) about something. I believe I am officially 'moving out' if I find a job, at the earliest, May of 2003.

Still, what does the future hold for me? More specifically, I started thinking today about why I really truly wanted to stay in TO when the rest of my family moved south. Why stay here?

Nothing's really holding me back here. I have many close friends in Ottawa which I never get to see, but I still keep in touch with them (you) electronically. I could always do the same with everyone in T.O. I'm finally settled into my church, and building relationships there. If I move, I can still do that, God will always provide me with friends to support me.

Life is so confusing.

I forgot to mention I saw Harry Potter: Chamber of Secrets on Friday, before fellowship. I went down to Uptown theatres with my friend Chic. We got there about 2 hours early so we bought tickets and wandered around downtown through various clothing shops. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever start purposely buying name brand clothing, maybe as I become more mature in my dressing, or when I start making money. I can't see myself ever doing that (the clothes, or the money, or maturity for that matter), but it could happen. My father is always complaining that I still dress like a teenager.

Anyway.. as we headed back to the theatre at 3 (the movie was scheduled to start at 3:30) we saw that a line had formed outside so we had to line up. Suffice to say by the time the line finally started moving, we were close to around the 1/5 mark of the line, and there were around 30 people ahead of us. One funny thing was as we walked slowly into the building, the two girls who had been in line behind us all of sudden cried out, realizing that they were supposed to buy the tickets BEFORE lining up. D'oh..

I liked the movie. It was a lot scarier than the first, a lot more serious, a lot more stuff that could easily scare small children. The story was better though, less cute, more action. More sinister too. But there were also many funny moments in which the whole audience bursted out in laughter. I give it a two thumbs up!

I've been seriously considering cutting out my mp3s. I have way too many and I don't even listen to them all anymore. There's a lot of stuff I keep around 'just in case'. I dunno why, maybe I keep thinking that I'll grow back to the old me and listen to some of that old rap or pop music. Sometimes I think I should keep them around in case someone comes over and wants to listen.. but I haven't had people over in ages!

I bought a 180s today, for my poor ears that keep freezing up whenever I'm walking outside. It's funny but since I had some leads on finding a job I've been a lot happier, more like my usual self. I was so down and depressed I didn't even notice. Maybe part of the reason I was having trouble integrating at T3C was the fact that I probably wasn't a very pleasant person to talk to at times.. Sometimes when you're in a funk you get into this tunnel vision thing where all you see is the funk and none of the good stuff. Yesterday I was reminded of how great life was and all the happiness and excitement that I was missing out on. It also reminded me of what God does for me that I continue to take for granted, even though I'm reminded not to almost every week.

Yesterday we had Iron Chef at my fellowship. It was really fun! The main ingredient was pineapples, which is sort of odd since you can't really make much with pineapples other than fruit cups or things related with bacon/ham. But anyway, we were pretty creative. Our team split into 3 groups, one doing appetizers, one for main course, and one for dessert.

I was in the appetizer group. We made a pineapple smoothie, which wasn't smooth at all. When I looked over the recipe, there weren't any ingredients mentioned that would make this drink smooth. Pineapples, pineapple juice, ice. What about cream? Ah well.. The other thing we made was a hawaiin dip, it was a creamy dip with pineapples in it. We used this dip for the pineapple sushi we prepared. These did not taste good in my opinion, but the judges seemed to like it. We had sushi with rice on the outside and on the inside. The rice we used was still hot when we applied it, so the seaweed got all soggy. I've made sushi a couple of times and imo, last night's sushi was a total disaster =). I was fun making it though! We added a toothpick/skewer 'raft' above the dip bowl and a carrot carved in a shape of a man sat on top of this raft.

The main course group made pork wrapped pineapple bits, which were really good, plus they also made a salad, and a pineapple fried rice. I'll try to post up a picture when I get them. People in our small group have some crazy artistic talent. The food looked delicious! The food was arranged in such a way that it looked like an oasis. There were the trees in the back (salad), then a pineapple bowl of the fried rice, with the pork stuff in front of it. Then the rest of the plate had a blue goo simulating the water around the oasis. Again there was carrot man sitting on top of the rice.

The dessert group made a 'boat' out of pineapple shell, and filled it with balled melons and grapes. Since it was a boat, they made pineapple/melon shishkebobs that looked like oars for the boat. Then to top if off, they had blue jello surrounding the boat to simulate water! It was a really creative and beautiful arrangement! And of course the carrot man was on the boat.

For the presentation, one of the small group leaders presented the story of this carrot dude and how he came to an island on the raft, and then eventually was rescued by the giant fruit boat. We all wore colorful bandana's like they do on Survivor. I guess the judges liked how we had a theme and made the food depict the story, so we won!! Woohoo!! Check out a picture of the Noodleman Trophy (i'll post it when i get one).

I think the great thing Anabret has going for them is their mellow sound. It's crisp and smart, a great choice of eclectic sounds, very relaxing and entertaining at the same time. Their lyrics are poetic too, like from the song Until Morning:

Once more I’ll test my will
to keep standing still.
Another midnight on the way
will stumble into one more day.
`til morning brings the start of a day without dawn.
I hide between the walls until the hours are gone

They rhyme! It's almost pure acoustic. The type of stuff you hear from live bands in a bar. Because of this they probably will never get very big, but that's good as well, since many groups change their style of music to fit the norm in order to become more successful. I hope they come out with tabs soon!

Before I post about last night's fellowship, just want to quickly give another plug.

Last night i missed out on John Doe, so I went to the site to check out the episode info to see what I had missed. Anyway, clicking around I found a group that John Doe played (one of their songs). They're pretty good, and I think they're brand new. Check out their site. They have a couple full songs for download. Both are pretty good.

Check out a job description that Monster.ca just sent me:

Self-Motivated individual needed to work in a creative GAY
POSITIVE environment building template driven websites. This is a
perfect entry-level position for those looking to get their feet wet in
the world of web design.


.. LOL

Well, I just called my boss to follow up on my conversation with him last week, and it looks like there's a good chance I could get a job there. They're setting up the paperwork now, and then they'll have me come in for an interview. I guess from there we'll see where things lead. My hands still smell like onions. I even used my dad's construction soap, it's industrial soap man..

Today I made curry chicken using Moe's famous curry mix. It was great.. only very little leftovers and only because everyone was just too full to finish it. I have a problem now though, cuz I used onions, my hands got the onion smell. I've scrubbed them hundreds of times now, and they still smell like onions. It's a little annoying..

Not much else happening..

I ended up taking my mouse, my optical microsoft mouse to my small group to show everyone what a loser i was that this stupid pointing device actually represented my daily life. How sad is that. Some people brought things that meant something to them, and they were even able to tie these items in with their spiritual walk. Like one guy, had a stethoscope with him (doc), and he related how the rubber on the thing sometimes gets cold and so you can't hear as well, so you need to keep it warm. He then related it to his prayer life and how he needs to learn to listen to God when He speaks to him. Anyway, what was I to say, that the mouse's pointer was similar to me letting God point me in the right direction? Haha. Cheese..

It was an interesting experience though. I hate to share, but I've been learning that I need to force the things upon myself as they will make me a better person. At best I can say I don't mind sharing with 2-3 people, but we had 12, and it was an uncomfortable feeling.

I am really enjoying Sunday School, the class I'm taking is almost like another small group. We get regularly 8-10 people which is a decent size. The teacher is really gifted in teaching. He gets the point across while making it pretty interesting. Oh top of which, he gets us all thinking, and when needed, he scares me. After the first lesson about demons and evil spirits, I had to sleep with the lights on for a week. I was terrified. Not so much of demons, but of the possibility of demons. You know that saying, "there's nothing to fear except fear itself". I totally agree with that.

Mil was up in Toronto this weekend as we tried to hook up on Saturday but it didn't work out. She wanted to meet at Eaton's Centre, so I suggested the food court, and I just threw out a place "McDonalds" as a meeting spot. Unfortunately when I got there, there was no McD's in the food court, but one off to the side. I must've been there for about an hour, so then I called home, and my dad said she had called and couldn't find the McDonald's. Somehow my dad had the idea I had gone to the Bay, so he told her I went there! So then I had to wander through the Bay, looking.. that Bay is huge, it has 4-5 stories.. crazy!! I never did find her, after about 2 hours of searching and waiting, and I was late for my guitar lessons, so I went home. Later in the evening, Drew gave me a call and we went out for BT at a place called Tea Shop 168. I hear that there is one in Ottawa as well. They had a good variety of flavors, and were much cheaper than Ten Ren's. They had a deal where you could get a 'bau' plus a BT all for only $4.50. That's a pretty sweet deal..

My mom is back from Taiwan now. Praise God that she has come back safely to us!

"It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because[1] to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace." Hebrews 4:4-6

I've experienced first-hand of friend(s) losing their faith, straying away from God, denouncing their faith. Does this contradict with this scripture? Or do we need to look into more detail as to what "enlightened", "tasted the heavenly gift", "shared in the Holy Spirt", "tasted the goodness of the word of God" really mean? What if a person was saved because they went to an evangelistical meeting, and for that one moment when they were given the opportunity to ask Christ into their lives, they felt it was right, but then later on lost that 'feeling'? Wouldn't that count as being enlightened? What about a curious person who finds truth in the Bible, doesn't that count as tasting the goodness of the word of God?

I'm going to bring this up to a pastor and post their views here later.

Yesterday I went to bed at 4am, because I kept saying "okay, i'll go to bed right after this mission". I said this around 5 times. Game of the night: Soldier of Fortune II. I went to bed late, but knowing that I am an unemployed bum, I knew I could sleep in for as long as I wanted! Ain't life grand?

8:12am. The phone rang, I woke up pretty quick, because the ringer on my phone is extremely loud, and it's right next to my bed, AND I thought it might be a call from my former boss, getting back to me about the job possibility. It was a fax machine, so I hung up. 8:32am. Yeah, it was a fax again. I tried and tried to get back to sleep, but by 9am lost the battle and got up. 9:30am, my former boss actually did call. We discussed how I might be able to help with some projects that he was currently working on. I was a bit groggy though, I sincerely hope that didn't count as an interview!

In the afternoon I went downtown with my friend Max to check out the EXPO COMM tradeshow at the convention centre. What a disappointment -- $40 to get in!! So then we looked around the convention centre for other events. There was a holiday gift show, so we checked that out. Turns out it was a small room full of cheap Christmas toys! Sigh.. So that basically wasted my afternoon. Although it was nice catching up with Max, talking about job searching, school stuff, etc. I had McD's for lunch for the first time in months. I missed McD's, but afterwards, the stomach ache I got from it made me realize why I stopped having McD's. Haha.

Tonight's game was better than expected. I expected the Raptors to lose by 30 points, but they managed to keep it close, losing by only 14. I think Chuck Swirsky is an idiot by the way. It's like he's watching basketball for the first time. He has to be the worst basketball commentator I have ever heard. What happened to the black guy they had before? Meanwhile, Leo Rautins is getting better and better. If he puts on 40-50 pounds he might have a shot at getting a job with ESPN.

Here's the result of an online quiz I just did.

What LoTR Character Are You?

You are most like Aragorn. You have strong convictions and you stick to them. Although you are more of a recluse, you are extremely loyal to the few friends that you have. You are very serious about things, but you like having fun. Fame and fortune mean little to you, and you aren't concerned with being popular. Good for you!

That's cool. Aragorn was one of my favorite characters from the books/movie, so that worked out nicely.

I have to bring an item that either means a lot to me, or is very representative of me, to this week's small group meeting. I haven't got a clue what I'll bring.

I thought maybe my mouse or keyboard. It's something that is very representative of me, but doesn't mean a lot to me. Yeah, I spend most of my day in front of my computer, but it doesn't mean anything to me, it's just what I do. I could bring my guitar. Music means a lot to me, I find it soothing, I enjoy playing the guitar, and singing. But if I bring my guitar, people will ask me to play something... Maybe a picture of my parents? Family means a lot to me.

I've added a comments link courtesy of haloscan.com. I don't expect anyone to write anything, but I thought it would make the page more complete as a whole.

The website for my company is moving along nicely. We don't have a domain name yet, but we're working on that. The company name hasn't been officially registered yet, so until then we will hold off on the domain name registration. It's currently being hosted on a spare computer. One of my partners has professional webpage experience, so he and I have been collaborating on the page. His layout experience has been a big help.

Today I gave my old summer job boss a call to see if he knew of any internal positions within the City that might be suitable for me. He said he'd get back to me some time this week. My father officially accepted the job in Nevada, so now there's the process of various paperworks that need to be filled in and sent back and forth. I believe he will be starting work sometime in either December or January. For now, the plan is to for him to work there for a full year, which means we will live here in Toronto for at least another year and a half. This gives me a little over a year to find a job, but I hope to be working within a few months.

I've been listening to a lot of Hillsong music since the concert last month. Since I spend a lot of my time working on my compute all day long, I tend to not listen to the words as much and moreso the tune and beat. In that regard Hillsong has been very appropriate, because that style of music seems to have less meaning, so I don't miss much -- i think..

We're doing the Samaritan's Purse shoe-box thing within our small groups. Oh -- Yesterday at fellowship we had to choose which small group to join. This is actually not so casual -- we had to pick one and commit to it, for one whole year! I had all week to think about which one to join (we could choose from 3). They advertised 3 different groups, the first dealing with understand God's word, and examining the bible. The second one dealt with Christian Living, and the last one was for Serving God. Although they didn't actually say it, I saw them as Beginner, Intermediate, and Expert levels. All week I struggled between level 2 and level 3, but finally ended up deciding on level 2 for a number of reasons:

-For one thing I don't feel I'm ready to be in the "expert" group just yet
-I've already taken sunday school classes in servitude
-i didn't have to leave the room (the other 2 groups went to other rooms)

As a fellowship, Genesis is pretty large. The age range is 18-28 so you can imagine how big it is. On BS days we'll get as many as Elijah would have on 'fun' nights. So anyway, only 3 small groups, so they wouldn't be exactly small. Ours ended up with 16 people, close to half the number of people who were there.


I started playing this game called Hitman 2: Silent Assassin. Basically you sneak around and try to get your target without alerting guards and such. It's actually quite hard, not like the other shoot-em-up games where you can just shoot your way to your target. There are pretty tricky things, like sneaking up behind guards and drugging them so that you can take their clothes and use them as a disguise. Even then you're still not safe because other guards will still investigate you if you go up close to them, since they can recognize their buddies. And when the drugging wears off, then you're in big trouble because this naked guy starts running around to warn all his buddies that someone has his clothes!

The last mission I did was the hardest, I had to infiltrate a castle and take out a japanese mafia leader. He was pretty hard to get, first I had to sneak past at least 10-15 guards and ninja's. I had to steal a keycard from one of his concubines. Finally when I got up to the 6th floor where the boss was, I left a bomb behind a pillar and snuck past him and jumped out a window and made my way along the roof down to the exit, then remotely exploded the bomb!

Today at my guitar lessons I felt a little off because I hadn't practiced all week. Luckily most of the class still hasn't reached my level so the teacher couldn't tell that I hadn't practiced.

Tonight I went out with some old friends to the Fox & Fiddle at John/Adelaide (downtown). Walking through downtown at 7pm I realized one of the big advantages of living in Nevada -- it's not as danged COLD!!! Geez, it's so cold these days, and they're saying it'll be a warm winter?!

Chevrolet Caprice -- This is basically a police car. I'm not sure what Canadian Police use, but this is the standard issue in the States. Try as I might, but I cannot even vaguely imagine how this car could look anything like a White Astro Van with a ladder rack on top. Kinda makes you wonder whether they ever would've caught them if they'd never called the tiplines..

It's been awhile since my last post. It's not that I had nothing to say, just that I've been busy doing nothing. Man, there is so much nothing to do around here, I am up my neck in all this nothingness. I can't take it anymore.. someone relieve me from all this nothing!!

My dad is going to take the job in Nevada.. they did a few counter-offers back and forth, til finally, Monday they came up with something they both agreed upon. So now I have a few months to go through the motions of looking for a job, and then if my luck doesn't change, then I will be moving down to the states with my family. Job searching really sucks.. I really gave up long ago, but I still keep applying. Maybe I'll have better luck in the States where no one has even heard of McMaster University... riiiight...

In regards to the sniper: how can you guarantee that you'll stop shooting people once the police give you the money you want? Or will it be more like a tariff, whenever you get the knack to shoot someone, you'll give them a call for another cool mil? The police should offer him a deal. A $10M reward, plus a free plane ride down to the caves in Afghanistan, with more ammo than he ever dreamed of. Or better yet, $1M, a free plane ride to Iraq, 1 bullet, and a guarantee that he can go free plus $9M if he kills the right guy. Now I know why they couldn't catch Bin Laden, when they can't even figure out what the sniper even looks like, on home soil too. And what's with talking to him on TV? How do they know he even has a tv or access to one? How do they know that the notes being left behind weren't left by copycats?

He parks his car, steps out and kneels. He picks up a bit of old dried grass and tosses it. The grass falls straight down -- sweet, no wind. He pulls out his rifle. Looking into the sight, he sees some dude pull into the gas station. As the man steps out of the car, the sniper aims a foot above the man's head to compensate for gravity, and pulls the trigger. They were minding their own business, getting gas, mowing the lawn, shopping, walking to school. He's not a sicko per se -- he's no Bernardo or Dalmer, but he gets a kick out of ending lives of innocent people doing daily normal activities. Race, age, sex -- this means nothing to him. He's willing to shoot *anyone*.

Stuff like that intrigues me. He's not necessarily a violent man. It's not even rage, or doesn't seem like it. He is a sniper, he shoots once and kills. It's not a matter of leaving someone to die or suffer, he shoots (and if all goes right), the victim dies almost immediately. It seems to me that he doesn't care whether the random person suffers, but he would prefer they didn't. Otherwise he'd aim for the stomach, or groin, or leg. So it's more like he snuffing out life, not so much making people suffer, but rather maybe making loved ones suffer. Who do you think is more scared, the victim who dies almost immediately, or the family members of the victim? So it's more the fear than the killing itself. Look at the evidence. "I am God", and his threats that even children aren't safe. It's all about instilling fear. Also his approach -- sure it's terror, but it isn't the standard terror, of say body parts being ripped apart, or disease and suffering. It's about him being able to choose who gets to live and who gets to die. It's the uncertainty of not knowing if when you kissed your loved ones goodbye, it was the last time you'd see them alive. So life's no longer taken for granted.

Yeah, they'll catch him.

After a long time of trying to avoid this, I've decided to go back to school in January if I don't have a job by then. Now the question is, what to take?

Hey, what did I tell you guys about Belfour huh? The Penguins were not a good test, but still.. a shutout is a shutout!

The company is having problems finding clients. We bid on projects on the web. Most of the bids we've made would result in us being paid less than minimum wage, but we need to get jobs under our belt in order to win more respectable jobs. Anyway, we bid around $400 US (these are 2-3 week projects). This results in us making around $3/hour per person -- not good. And yet, even when we bid this low, some company from India outbids us at $100, and of course wins the bid. Somehow, possibly due to cost of living, they can afford to do a 2 week project for a measely $150 (canadian). Doh!

I found an interesting tab/chord for another Avril Lavigne song called Temple of Life. The lyrics are pretty strange, for a punk rock singer. Check it out, just a excerpt. Contact me if you want the whole thing (btw, I hope this is legal):

We sat by the fire united in song
Under the moonlight all night long
We sang hallelujah for the joy of it all
And out on the water a caroling loon
Sings a sweet heavenly tune
There's peace in God's forest for the temple of life

Chorus:
Hallelujah, hallelujah
We looked to the sky, deep into heaven's eyes, hallelujah


.. Anyway, I thought that was sorta weird, for her style of music. I am still a big supporter of her music.. it's really good stuff!

Michelle Branch is also quite good. She plays piano, guitar, and writes her own music, which is impressive enough. I got her album, and it's quite good. Aside from her big popchart toppers Everywhere and All You Wanted, there's some other good songs like You Set Me Free, Here With Me. I only got her album a couple days now and the songs are pretty catchy.

I'm trying to make a website for my company. It wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be. Making a corporate website is way, way harder than a personal webpage. For one, I can't steal pictures from other sites like I'd do with my own site. Everything has to be original. That's hard. The other thing is I need a corporate standard feel to it. That's really hard. I need a theme. Theme? For an IT company? That is really hard.. I was asked to the page this week, and I've barely even begun.

Quick sporting predictions. The Giants will beat the Cardinals, and the Angels will beat the Twins. I am hoping that Bonds wins a WS this season, but I think that the Angels are too good this year. In hockey, the Leafs will barely make the playoffs and they will get eliminated quickly -- not that i'm giving up on Belfour, who is a lot better than people give credit. It's just that the Leafs will not be able to play their style of hockey because of the new rules. Ottawa will make it far into the playoffs, possibly into the finals. But any team who makes it to the finals will lose to Detroit. In basketball, I predict Vince Carter will burn a lot of people. Too many people, including myself was down on the Air Apparent, but this year he will prove everyone (except his mommy) wrong. He still won't step up as leader of the team, but he is going to put a world of hurt on his defenders this year. Who'll win the East is anyone's guess, but they will lose to any team coming out of the West. I am predicting an upset in the West, where the Lakers will not come out on top. The Lakers will lose because they have Tracy Murray on their team, and no team with Tracy Murray can win or deserve to win a championship. Mark my words: The only way I foresee the Lakers winning it all is if they cut or waive Tracy Murray.

On Friday, Lon, Yvonne and I went went to the free Hillsong concert at the Queensway Cathedral. The concert was scheduled to start at 7:30, and we got there at around 5:30pm to line up. The Queensway Cathedral fits 4000 people, but when we got there, there was already a lineup of about 4000! At 7, they finally started letting people in. But by the time we were about 10 metres away from the front entrance, they closed the front doors because they were full. Luckily though, they announced a second concert at 9. So we basically lined up for almost 4 hours.

I think the waiting was worth it. I've heard Hillsong before, and I've experienced worship similar to that before, but never to that scale. Living Hope church in Hamilton is similar, and the Met in Ottawa is pretty cool as well. The Delirious concert I went to in the summer time was really really good too. The great thing about Hillsong wasn't the 30 person singing choir they had, or the 2 electric guitars, bass, or acoustic. The 2 sets of drums, electric keyboard, trumpet dude, etc. It wasn't the 3 backup singers, or the fact that Reuben Morgan was there too, or even Darlene Zschech (pronounced as "check"). I think it was the atmosphere that they presented. The way they appeared to be genuinely enjoying themselves up there, loving every moment of praising and singing. That for me was what made it so great.

Why is it that when you sleep really late, you don't feel tired until you wake up the next morning???

I lasted almost 40 days without having any kind of pop. I tried to stop, when I saw that my friend lost over 35 points by not drinking anymore pop (and a better diet). Today, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed that last remaining A&W Root Beer that had been taunting me everytime I stepped into the laundry room. Mmmmmmmm.. It goes down so smooth.

I wish ICQ had subgroups like Trillian has. I have groups on my icq, like "McMaster", "Ottawa", "Toronto", "United States", "Delete Soon", "Waterloo", "Church Friends". Haha, just kidding about the last one! But what I'd like to do, is be able to put subgroups, for McMaster for instance, many people have graduated and aren't really at McMaster anymore. But I don't want to create a new group for "McMaster grads", so they remain in the McMaster category. And for my "Church Friends", some of them are in Toronto, some of them are in other places.. it messes things up for me trying to decide which group they go in.

Today I tried a new food. It's not necessarily new, but I think fairly knew for TO. It was called Tacoyaki. It's really good stuff.. Octopus meat mixed in batter and fried. They put dressing on top, with a touch of wasabi (oh yeah, it's japanese). I went down to First Markham Place with my friend FaiYuen to have it. I suggest if you haven't tried it, to try it. It could be the 'latest' thing..

Have you guys seen this website: http://www.emotioneric.com

Funny stuff.. It kind of reminds me of something I've done with my digital camera, but this guy made it a lot more funny. (I did a slide show of myself making funning faces, but it was more like one of those flip-the-page-animation book thingies. Ask Lon, he knows about what I'm talking about. Anyway, this Eric guy is next-level funny though.

Oh, what was I doing last night? What could I have been doing that would have made me so enraged? Why, programming of course!

stupidpieceof!@#$$!@#%$%&%&$^%!#^@%^$@@^$

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was my brother's birthday today. We had noodles for dinner, which is supposed to symbolize long life. I don't understand why we still do these silly chinese traditions, when as Christians we should believe we'll live as long as God wants us to live. Anyway, then we went out to see the movie called Four Feathers.

*Possible Movie Spoiler*
I expected a semi-epic for this movie, and I got just that.. however, I felt the movie could have ended at several different times in the movie. There were times I started getting bored and began to look around to see if anyone had fallen asleep. Maybe part of me was anxious to get home to watch Smallville, but I really honestly felt the movie dragged on longer than it had to. And there were times I felt like I didn't understand what was going on, or I didn't understand the purpose of certain parts being in the movie at all. Anyway, I believe this movie is best described as a creation by a director who had a lot to say but didn't know how to do it without letting it drag on and on. I have nothing against long movies, but only if they keep you wanting more, dragging them out is the worst. If you go into this movie, the best way to go in is with low expectations.

There's a new hip artist out. She's not really new per se as she's won awards already, but Avril Lavigne is really good. I got her album and aside from the 3rd track I like every single song she has. That's not bad for a semi-pop/alternative female singer from Napanee! Her big song was Complicated, and Sk8er Boi is out now (track3). I also just heard Smallville play her song "Tommorow" (track7). Her band has good sound, not too metallic or bass, just right -- and she has a very mature voice. Smallville has had the reputation of picking the next big hits, or current big hits for their soundtracks.

As you may have guessed, it was Smallville day. My favorite show, Smallville is about the younger days of Clark Kent (aka Superman). I haven't missed an episode, and I have all of them on my computer, along with just about every Smallville cast interview that has ever been on TV. What can I say, I'm definitely a Smallville fanatic!

Fellowship was really nice tonight. We had a coffee house. It was nice.

*Warning, Sports blurb coming up*
I've been thinking of starting a basketball fantasy pool, possibly on Yahoo. I've sort of kept up with what's going on in basketball over the offseason. The Raps acquired Lamond Murray from the Cavs for Mr. Ouch-I-got-a-paper-cut-now-I-can't-play-even-though-I-get-4-million-dollars-per-season Michael Stewart. This is good news.. Lamond Murray was a great mid-season pickup in most fantasy leagues last season. I suspect he'll supplant Morris Peterson at small forward, possibly even take over that position entirely. He wanted out of Cleveland because he wasn't going to get to start, because of the addition of Darius Miles. So I suspect it's a thing about playing time. Anyway I think Peterson can be a better player than Murray, but I'm doubtful that he can keep up that level of play for all 82 games + playoffs. Raptors need to try to make another move and get a centre.. Hakeem is going to retire.

I feel less pressured today as I did on 9/25. I've seem more job postings lately, I mean it's still not pretty, just watch the finance news and you'll know how bad it is, but it's looking up. I hope to have a job soon though, I'm pretty optimistic even though I won't seem optimistic if you ever talked to me. I saw Garv, he came to the coffee house. He probably knew more people there than I did.. haha

I am feeling really depressed today due to my unemployment. Two more of my friends found jobs today, and though I am very happy for them, it makes me feel more and more discouraged. I've applied to close to 80 jobs now, without even an interview or a call-back. That really sucks. And even though the company is starting to make some real progress towards coming up with our own product, I can't help but remind myself how unlikely it is that we will be successful. *Sigh*

I had ones of those 'late productive' days today. Mind you, for an unemployed bum, I use the word "productive" quite loosely! I woke up at 11am, went on my computer a lamented for an hour on why my fantasy football teams are doing so poorly this season. I am in 4 leagues this year, and only one team has a winning record. I'm 6-6 overall, but it isn't looking good. Two of the teams that are 1-2 are the lowest scoring teams in their leagues..

I had a 'bao' for lunch, it was the sweet kind, with coconut inside. We call it 'bo-lo bao' -- I prefer the kind without coconut inside, but they didn't have any yesterday at the bakery. I usually don't like sweets for lunch, so I also had a chunk of polish sausage. After lunch, I read my Mere Christianity book for a couple chapters. The book is due in 2 more weeks and I've barely reached the 1/10 mark. I guess I'll have to renew it! I 'borrowed' a copy of VB6 to play around with. Just another language I can add to my resume to make me look more 'attractive'. I already made one program, whee!!

For those of you wondering what the heck is this guy doing, with no job, no school, no plans at all.. I've started a company with two other friends/classmates. We're doing IT consulting -- currently we currently have one client and are in the developing stages of our own software (top secret btw, so don't ask =P). Anyway we don't have a website --- yet. So yeah, I *am* doing something at least. :)

I've been sorta putting off this news I have until it was almost for certain that it was gonna happen.

For the last little while my dad had been looking for a new job. He works for Toronto right now. He wasn't happy there so he'd been looking for other places to work. Well, to make a long story short, he got an offer for a director position in Nevada, and at this point I think we are looking at 99.9999% possibility that he will be taking that job.

If/when he takes that job, he'll be starting likely in December. That means in two months, my dad will no longer be living with us. We won't move down immediately since my brother would have to finish his school year. And if by some miracle I managed to find a job in Toronto, then I'd be left behind when they moved. However, if lightning doesn't strike, then by this time next year I'll be living in Nevada.

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. It's come to a point where I look forward to the next day, or even plan my day in order to watch what I want to watch.

To give you a picture of how sorry my life has become:

Sunday - Football game at 1pm, 4pm, and 8:30pm. Also Simpsons at 8pm, Malcolm in the Middle at 9pm, both on Global and Fox. Band of Brothers at 10pm, on Global. I think this means that The Practice won't be premiering until Band of Brothers finishes, unless they've moved time slots.

Monday - Boston Public!! 8pm on Global. Monday Night Football, 9pm on ABC. Fear Factor also at 8pm (NBC). Everybody Loves Raymond at 9pm (Global, CBS).

Tuesday - That 70's Show, 8pm on Global and Fox - Eric and Donna are back together! Next week is Frasier season premiere. Niles is getting married to Daphne! (9pm on Global, NBC). Tuesday's also has Smallville at 8pm on CityTV, season premiere next season. 8pm? doh.. conflict

Wednesday - Enterprise at 8pm on City -- I know a lot of you are down on this show. Give it another chance! Also first seasons for any ST series has sucked because of the all the rushing to develop their characters. Now comes the juicy stuff we've all grown accustomed to from Roddenberry's work! Today I watched Fastlane. All the hype surrounding it didn't lie.. this show is pretty off the hook, though it probably shouldn't be allowed on Primetime. Parents beware!

Thursday - Next week Friends (7:30pm on Global, 8pm on NBC) season premiere. Also new show Hidden Hills, gotta check that one out, it looks funny! Don't forget Survivor: Thailand, 8pm on Global. Btw, this week Friends is a one hour special, so it will go directly against Survivor. I'll have to tape one of them. Then there's Will & Grace at 9pm (also a 1-hour special just for this week).

Friday - Friday's are a bit controversial, because I'm supposed to be at fellowship. But new shows Firefly (8pm on Fox), and John Doe (9pm on Fox too, I think) look very promising.

Saturday - Master's of the Universe(He-man remake!!) at 10am on YTV, X-men (remake as well) at 10:30am on YTV, Justice League at 11am on YTV. Justice League is so cool, they have Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, and a whole slew of other superheroes. Last week Batman.....DIED!!! Oh, also on Saturdays is a show at 7pm called Mysterious Ways (CTV). I really like this show, and I don't think too many people know about it. It's basically like X-Files, only they investigate things that appear to be modern-day miracles.

Dark Angel was cancelled -- too bad. Also Spin City was also canned. I know you guys won't believe me when I tell you that I didn't use a TV Guide to come up with all that (above) -- but it's true!

I think I'm still missing other shows. Once basketball season starts, I'll have to be watching all those games too. I spend quite a bit of time watching sports highlights and cooking shows too, but not particular shows, just the ones i happen to catch from random flippings. I also watch Leno, but only for the opening monologues.

There's also 7th Heaven. Our family used to watch on WB, but our black box died, so now I don't know how we'll watch it. It's a very good show as well.

Something I think is sorta funny is that Growing Pains is on CTS now (the christian station). Back in the day I didn't think it was even one of the good shows, because Mike Seaver pull some pretty crazy stunts back then. It's funny how a show like that is considered "Good Family Values" now.

Let me share with you guys something that's been going through my mind, all through this job search, and even through 4th year. As always, I'll add some humor into it so that you don't read halfway and fall asleep. Here's scene from Seinfeld, Episode 12 - Season 2. The episode was called "The Revenge" for all you movie trivia buffs.

JERRY: So, what are you gonna do now? Are you gonna look for something else in real estate?
GEORGE: Nobody's hiring now. The market's terrible.
JERRY: So what are you gonna do?
GEORGE: I like sports. I could do something in sports.
JERRY: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. In what capacity?
GEORGE: You know, like the general manager of a baseball team or something.
JERRY: Yeah. Well, that - that could be tough to get.
GEORGE: Well, it doesn't even have to be the general manager. Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a caller man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game.
JERRY: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.
GEORGE: What about that?
JERRY: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and people that are, you know, in broadcasting.
GEORGE: Well, that's really not fair.
JERRY: I know. Well, okay. Okay. What else do ya like?
GEORGE: Movies. I like to watch movies.
JERRY: Yeah. Yeah.
GEORGE: Do they pay people to watch movies?
JERRY: Projectionists.
GEORGE: That's true.
JERRY: But you gotta know how to work the projector.
GEORGE: Right.
JERRY: And it's probably a union thing.
GEORGE: [scoffs] Those unions. [sighs] Okay. Sports,...movies. What about a talk show host?
JERRY: Talk show host. That's good.
GEORGE: I think I'd be good at that. I talk to people all the time. Someone even told me once they thought I'd be a good talk show host.
JERRY: Really?
GEORGE: Yeah. A couple of people. I don't get that, though. Where do you start?
JERRY: Well, that's where it gets tricky.
GEORGE: You can't just walk into a building and say " I wanna be a talk show host."
JERRY: I wouldn't think so.
GEORGE: It's all politics.
JERRY: All right. Okay. Sports, movies, talk show host. What else?
GEORGE: This could have been a huge mistake.
JERRY: Well, it doesn't sound like you completely thought this through.
GEORGE: [sighs] What should I do?

Basically what happened in that episode, if you don't remember, is George erupted in anger at his boss, quit, and the next day he is reflecting about it with Jerry, and they're discussing what he'll do now that he has no job.

I think this episode hits home, because like me, George isn't really good at any one thing, and he doesn't know what he wants in life. He's sort of just doing what he does because there's nothing else to do. He asks Jerry for help, and Jerry tries to walk him through the things that George likes and dislikes, to see maybe where and what he was meant to do in life. I had this same conversation with someone a month ago, and the conversation pretty much ended the same way. I've also been having this conversation with God as well, but no feedback yet.

I can just picture it now, 15 years from now, I'll be bald, I'll be living at home with my parents, my crazy parents. I'll have crazy adventures, but they'll never amount to anything. In the end I'll be working in the Skydome, as the assistant to the travelling secretary of the Blue Jays.

JERRY: The New York Yankees?!
GEORGE: The New York Yankees!
JERRY: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle ... Costanza?
GEORGE: I'm the assistant to the travelling secretary. I'm going on the road trips with them! I'll be on the plane... I'm working in Yankee Stadium! This is a dream, I'm busting, Jerry, I'm busting!
JERRY: I can't believe it.
( The door buzzes, it's Elaine, Jerry buzzes her in )
GEORGE: And I'm moving out of my parents' house, I'm taking that apartment on 86th street, remember the one we saw?
JERRY: That's a great place!
GEORGE: I'm back in business, baby!

That's me. One day.